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  • imponderablefun
    replied
    Originally posted by deliverypasta View Post
    I know im not very active but owh SamanthaB you should at least mention me. LOL.


    I'm gay, 27 yo in a commited relationship with an expat from Ireland for years. Living together and we've both met the big family already. Hello to you imponderablefun, I just wanna say that growing in Indonesia and back in my days looking for a friend who can understand or a boyfriend is a challenge. What happens is I always hold myself back and acting straight (replying to nasty straight sex jokes, etc) when meeting friends. As I met more people, my networks expand. I have more friends who can accept me for who i am. Imagine Max from Happy endings, I manage to become myself without being the [FONT=arial]"sterotypically gay best friend[/FONT][FONT=arial]" --- sometimes. My suggestion would be, dont rush it. You're still young. I know age never defy maturity but you're still young. Go out and enjoy a bit and yes my coming out is culture shock (a first born as well, high five to mizzou) but i know i deserve my own happiness.

    I wish you all the very best.

    [/FONT]
    Hey thanks for sharing. I'm also planning to continue my study abroad once I'm done with law school, hopefully I can find a job and a man and eventually make a family in the future. But convincing my dad about my plan to live abroad is so difficult (he doesn't know my true intention yet), all he aware of is that I want to study fashion design and as we know London, Paris, Rome, NYC are the ones that prominently known for the said field. If I happened to divulge my true intention to him (that means coming out of Narnia), he might change his mind and thus endorse my dream financially and psychologically. However, adjudicating the background my family has I doubt he will accept me. It would be a different story though if I had a boyfriend and assure him that homosexual relationship is likened to heterosexual one, bound by sincere reciprocal love of two people. Aside from that aforementioned perplexity, another reason I'm tad rushed in finding a boyfriend is that I just lost my mum and I regret that I never told her about this whole thing. I don't wanna annex another regret, that's why...

    Anyway, so you live in Ireland with your boyfriend, deliverypasta?

    Leave a comment:


  • deliverypasta
    replied
    I know im not very active but owh SamanthaB you should at least mention me. LOL.


    I'm gay, 27 yo in a commited relationship with an expat from Ireland for years. Living together and we've both met the big family already. Hello to you imponderablefun, I just wanna say that growing in Indonesia and back in my days looking for a friend who can understand or a boyfriend is a challenge. What happens is I always hold myself back and acting straight (replying to nasty straight sex jokes, etc) when meeting friends. As I met more people, my networks expand. I have more friends who can accept me for who i am. Imagine Max from Happy endings, I manage to become myself without being the [FONT=arial]"sterotypically gay best friend[/FONT][FONT=arial]" --- sometimes. My suggestion would be, dont rush it. You're still young. I know age never defy maturity but you're still young. Go out and enjoy a bit and yes my coming out is culture shock (a first born as well, high five to mizzou) but i know i deserve my own happiness.

    I wish you all the very best.

    [/FONT]

    Leave a comment:


  • mizzou
    replied
    Originally posted by imponderablefun View Post
    Hehe yeah, well I'm currently BF hunting at the moment. Planning to come out to the whole family when I'm in a serious relationship with someone, as to show them that Homosexual relationship is not merely about copulation but there's also sincere love just like heterosexual relationship. But yeah it's kinda devastating seeing your peers to have someone and you're not LOL. By the way, may I ask why are you nervous about coming back home?
    Culture shock, mainly. I've been able to kinda detach myself from family & societal expectations while living abroad. Now, coming back home would probably involve some sort of expectations. My family lives in a pretty tight-knit community and as a first child Balinese, there's just a lot of pressure to eventually be the head of the family etc etc. But I digress. I think relationships are delicate. Don't force it. I'm sure something will come along if you let it develop organically.

    Leave a comment:


  • imponderablefun
    replied
    Originally posted by mizzou View Post
    I'd say moving slowly is not a bad thing. Coming out, dating, etc can be delicate and overwhelming at the same time. You're young, so you have plenty of time to meet people. I'm kinda nervous myself coming back home. It's nice to know that there are folks like SamanthaB who are welcoming. Just keep your head up.
    Hehe yeah, well I'm currently BF hunting at the moment. Planning to come out to the whole family when I'm in a serious relationship with someone, as to show them that Homosexual relationship is not merely about copulation but there's also sincere love just like heterosexual relationship. But yeah it's kinda devastating seeing your peers to have someone and you're not LOL. By the way, may I ask why are you nervous about coming back home?

    Leave a comment:


  • mizzou
    replied
    I'd say moving slowly is not a bad thing. Coming out, dating, etc can be delicate and overwhelming at the same time. You're young, so you have plenty of time to meet people. I'm kinda nervous myself coming back home. It's nice to know that there are folks like SamanthaB who are welcoming. Just keep your head up.

    Leave a comment:


  • imponderablefun
    replied
    Originally posted by SamanthaB View Post
    Welcome to the forum, imponderablefun. There are more than a handful of gay forum members, but most of them are women or Indonesian men. I don't know why there aren't many foreign gay men on the forum, at least not ones that are out. Perhaps they just don't move to Indonesia? It's not the most accepting and hospitable places for the queer community, after all, but there's community out there if you know where to look. Which part of Jakarta do you live in?
    Ah yeah very true, we're not the most cordial ones when it comes to homosexuality. I do have discovered several pubs or clubs where most queers hanging out, but I don't do clubs. I'm more favorable to dinner and conversation over good meal. As to answer your last enquiry, I live at my parents' house in east Jakarta but during weekdays/uni days I usually stay at my condominium in Tanggerang.

    Leave a comment:


  • ponyexpress
    replied
    Originally posted by oomgirang View Post
    Before you send your banning request for this flaming and insulting reply to the moderators: I was just kidding sorry for that
    Your apology is accepted but frankly it was a bad joke.

    Leave a comment:


  • Sky Garden
    replied
    Originally posted by oomgirang View Post
    Before you send your banning request for this flaming and insulting reply to the moderators: I was just kidding sorry for that

    ^^^ or this

    Leave a comment:


  • oomgirang
    replied
    Originally posted by Sky Garden View Post
    ^^^ not really sure where to start with this post
    Before you send your banning request for this flaming and insulting reply to the moderators: I was just kidding sorry for that

    Leave a comment:


  • Sky Garden
    replied
    Originally posted by oomgirang View Post
    With all the beautiful girls around in Indonesia i think it is pretty hard for Western gay guys not to change their preferences and become as straight as arrows in no time. Just a thought but i would not be surprised this is actually true???

    ^^^ not really sure where to start with this post

    Leave a comment:


  • oomgirang
    replied
    With all the beautiful girls around in Indonesia i think it is pretty hard for Western gay guys not to change their preferences and become as straight as arrows in no time. Just a thought but i would not be surprised this is actually true???

    Leave a comment:


  • SamanthaB
    replied
    Welcome to the forum, imponderablefun. There are more than a handful of gay forum members, but most of them are women or Indonesian men. I don't know why there aren't many foreign gay men on the forum, at least not ones that are out. Perhaps they just don't move to Indonesia? It's not the most accepting and hospitable places for the queer community, after all, but there's community out there if you know where to look. Which part of Jakarta do you live in?

    Leave a comment:


  • PhilippeD
    replied
    welcome on board Imponderablefun.

    Like ricky say, not a lot "know" gay on the forum. I don't even know one. But you can definitely make contact through this forum.
    You are welcome to stick around

    Leave a comment:


  • imponderablefun
    replied
    Ah, guess I'm moving too slow. Anyway, I might stick around to this forum albeit prior to this forum I have never partaken in any sort of website.

    Leave a comment:


  • ricky_id
    replied
    Originally posted by imponderablefun View Post
    Thanks. I'm gay guy LOL. Not many gay foreigner in here eh?
    Not many I assume at least on the surface, but there have been gay posters coming and going so far, probably leaving after getting so disappointed with not meeting their fellows here. We've told them to stay around for a while to increase their chance but most seemed to not be patient enough.

    Leave a comment:

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