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  • Need advice about divorce and children custody

    hello all

    I look for some advice about divorce and children custody.

    I browse the forum and internet, but could not find information I am looking for.

    So here is my case:

    I am French and married (France and Indonesia) to indonesian woman for 12 years.
    We have 2 kids (6 and 2 y.o) that have double nationalities
    We have been living in Indonesia for 6 years and hold a KITAP
    After many years of marriage, love simply fade out during the past 2 years and I also met another woman 3 month ago which simply trigger everything in my head.
    1 month ago, I told my wife that I wanna separate from her and I also mention about the other woman.

    In order to expedite divorce process, she ask me to sign below document and not show up when the court will ask us to come (3 times).

    Here are my questions:
    1. My wife is a very good mother and even if I am not seeking for a full custody, I am not comfortable to leave sole custody to my wife. First because it make me think that I lose all legal authority to my children and I also have some concern when it will come the time to take the kids on vacation to France: Need her authorisation. But from what I get here and there, it seems there is no “Join” Custody in Indonesia. Can anyone confirm this.
    2. Should I follow the instruction of signing the document ?
    2.1 I understand that court will systematically give custody of children to the mother.
    so does it make sense for me to sign a document that state that I agree to leave custody of the children to my wife ?

    2.2 What if something was to happen to my wife ? not that I dont wish that .. but we must be prepared also for worse case scenario
    I am thinking of adding following sentence: "I leave custody to my wife as long as she is in capability to execute her duty as guardian. In case she wouldnt be able to execute her obligation, the father would become sole custody of the children."

    from your perspective, does it make sense ?

    2.3 is it correct that, at the age of 12, a child can decide who would have custody ?
    if so, should I put a mention that I revoke my right of custody until children reach age of 12 whereas the child would decide who will be his legal guardian.

    2.4 "sampai kedua anak tersebut dewasa". Google translate that by: until the two children are adults.
    Is there a specific age for "adult" ? does it means 18, 21, or else ?

    3. should I follow instruction to not show up when court call us ?
    4. Since my wedding is more than 10 years, my KITAP will remain valid. Can anyone confirm this.


    Anyone other advice is more than welcome ..

    thanks in advance

    XXX

    —————————————————

    SURAT PERNYATAAN

    Yang bertandatangan dibawah ini :

    XXX, Tempat/ Tanggal lahir, xxxxxxx Agama

    Khatolik, Pendidikan S2, Alamat sesuai KTP, xxxxx Warga Negara

    Prancis , Pemegang Kartu Tanda Penduduk Nomor : xxxxxx.

    Dengan ini saya menyatakan :

    1. Saya menceraikan istri saya yang bernama :

    YYY, Tempat/ Tanggal lahir, Jakarta yyyyyyy, Agama Kristen,

    Pendidikan S1, Alamat sesuai KTP, yyyyyy, Warga

    Negara Indonesia (WNI), Pemegang Kartu Tanda Penduduk Nomor :

    yyyyyy,

    2. Alasan saya menceraikan istri saya (YYY) tersebut, karena saya

    merasa tidak cocok lagi, dan saya juga telah memiliki wanita lain.

    3. Saya menyerahkan hak asuh atas kedua anak dari perkawinan saya dengan

    YYY yang masing-masing bernama :

    - ZZZZ, lahir di Paris, pada tanggal zzzzzz;

    - ZZZZ, lahir di Jakarta zzzzzz;

    Kepada YYY tersebut.

    4. Saya bersedia memberikan biaya pengasuhan (alimentasi) untuk kedua anak

    tersebut melalui YYYY selaku ibunya, sebesar Rp. 20.000.000,- (dua

    puluh juta rupiah) perbulan, sampai kedua anak tersebut dewasa.

    5. Saya menyerahkan pengurusan secara hukum untuk perceraian dan hak asuh atas

    anak tersebut di Pengadilan Negeri Jakarta Selatan kepada ZZZZ.

    Demikianlah surat pernyataan ini saya tandatangani dengan sadar tanpa tekanan ataupun

    paksaan, agar dapat dipergunakan sebagaimana mestinya.

    Yang menyatakan

    XXX

  • #2
    Originally posted by overlord View Post
    (I) ... In order to expedite divorce process, she ask me to sign below document and not show up when the court will ask us to come (3 times).

    (II) ... I am not comfortable to leave sole custody to my wife ...

    (III) it seems there is no “Join” Custody in Indonesia. Can anyone confirm this.

    1. Should I follow the instruction of signing the document ?

    2.1 I understand that court will systematically give custody of children to the mother.

    2.1.1 so does it make sense for me to sign a document that state that I agree to leave custody of the children to my wife ?

    2.2 ... I am thinking of adding following sentence: "I leave custody to my wife as long as she is in capability to execute her duty as guardian. In case she wouldnt be able to execute her obligation, the father would become sole custody of the children." ...

    2.3 is it correct that, at the age of 12, a child can decide who would have custody ? ...

    2.4 "sampai kedua anak tersebut dewasa". Google translate that by: until the two children are adults.
    Is there a specific age for "adult" ? does it means 18, 21, or else ?

    3. should I follow instruction to not show up when court call us ?

    4. Since my wedding is more than 10 years, my KITAP will remain valid. Can anyone confirm this ...

    (I) I think you don't need to sign that "SURAT PERNYATAAN" to expedite the divorce process . I know of 2 ways to do that (applicable to the Muslim's Court , I guess applicable to the National Court too) : one of you not appearing in Court , or you two appearing and agreeing to divorce at the first meeting .

    (II) I think this is another reason to not sign that "SURAT PERNYATAAN" .

    (III) I don't know .

    1. I would not sign unless mandatory . Specifically regarding the defined financial support (unless one is 100% sure this will not be a future problem) . In my country I heard of many cases where ex-spouses where put in jail for not paying what were defined for them to pay to the ex-spouses . Of course we all should be responsible enough , but nobody knows what can happen in the future . Besides that , with the relatively high inflation and expenses going higher , a value today will be a totally different value in the future .

    2.1 Yes for Muslim marriage (there is a specific rule in the Islamic Law) . I don't know if there is a rule for non-Muslims .

    2.1.1/2.2 I guess this will be decided in the divorce process .

    2.3 This is also a rule of the Islamic Law . I don't know if there is a rule for non-Muslims .

    2.4 Adult age is sometimes defined as 18 , sometimes 21 . I think that parents should support financially until the children graduate in college/university or even a little later than that , when they get a job to support themselves .

    3. I would attend the divorce process because who knows a judge wants to define something that you didn't expect .

    4. Yes , but within 60 days after the divorce you must do the sponsor change process at Immigration office (even if the same sponsor , you need to report to Immigration that your sponsor is not your wife anymore) .


    Note : I guess it is not common in Indonesia to impose a obligation of an defined value of money to the ex-wife/children (my Indonesian ex-wife had 2 children with the first husband and , according to her , she never received any help from the ex-husband) . If so , I would prefer to make a death insurance with the children as beneficiaries and , of course , give enough money to the ex-wife as necessary depending on the time/situation (the amount of money could also be used as a bargain for you having the right to decide about children's school , how freely you could spend time with them , ... ) . I would be specially concerned about the financial support when the children become at the age to attend college/university , in other words , the expenses will be higher later , so better be sure to be there for them at that time or leave enough inheritance/insurance/savings to them .

    http://www.expat.or.id/info/divorce-...indonesia.html (about divorce)

    http://www.livinginindonesiaforum.or...orce..now-what (divorce , children custody)

    http://www.livinginindonesiaforum.or...079#post264079 (post no.5 , reasons for divorce)

    http://www.livinginindonesiaforum.or...-for-divorcees (cases of maintaining a KITAP after divorce)


    --------------------------------------


    From http://www.hukumonline.com/klinik/de...milih-berkarir , Sept. 2014

    [... Regarding child custody, the court usually gives guardianship and care for minors to the mother. This refers to Article 105 of the Compilation of Islamic Law ("KHI") which says children who are not yet 12 years old are the rights of their mothers. After the child is 12 years old he/she is given the freedom to choose to be cared for by his father or mother ...]


    ---------------------------------------


    PP no.31 , year 2013 (not an official translation)
    Article 162
    (1) For mixed marriages that are 10 (ten) years old or older, a KITAP obtained because of a legal marriage remains valid even though the marriage has ended due to divorce and / or court decision.
    (2) The holder of a KITAP as referred to in paragraph (1) must have an Indonesian sponsor.

    Poster's Note : Regulation IMI - GR.01.13 - 3849 , year 2016 states the foreigner has 60 days to inform the status change of the sponsor
    Last edited by marcus; 29-08-18, 10:36.

    Comment


    • #3
      Hi Marcus. Thank for you very much for your detail answer. I will digest all this information.

      Comment


      • #4
        Do not sign it before consult to your lawyer to understand deeply what you sign. Im giving you my friend number to contact +6282110118361 , he doing local and international law matter. Hopefully he can help you what you about to sign. Btw your reason to leave...carefull not so a good sign for you to have win win situation.

        Comment

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