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  • Divorce..now what?

    After 12 years of marraige my indonesian wife wants a divorce. I am from the U.K and our 2 children hold UK passports also.
    Does anybody know what rights she has over the children??

  • #2
    Where do you live now? Indonesia or UK ?

    Indonesian authority will award the custody of minor child to their birth mother while in UK as perhaps similar to the USA more likely will award both parent a joint custody.

    My knowledge is limited in regards to these matter, so having a good family lawyer is highly advisable. Regardless what happen between you and your wife, I wish you all the very best.

    M

    PS. If you do live in Indonesia - Atlantis may have a better insight to your concerns.
    Atlantis??!....Where are you???..
    [FONT=Book Antiqua]If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague..[/FONT]

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    • #3
      tks for reply

      we are now in the U.S but will be coming back to indonesia next week.

      is that right? I always presumed as the children followed in my nationality then the custody would do the same.

      Does anybody else have any insight into this?

      tks

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      • #4
        As far as I know, the mother always have the right for custody to minor children unless you can prove in the court that she is not capable to take care of the children.

        But my knowledge regarding your case is limited too... Better talk to a good lawyer as Indomom suggested.

        Hope your family will go through the process well especially the children. Wish you the best!

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        • #5
          Where did you marry?

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          • #6
            we married in indonesia and lived there for 10 yrs

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            • #7
              Then the divorce has to be pronounced in Indonesia and the indonesian civil laws are the one prevailing. In most cases a court would give custody to the mother, whatever the nationality of the kids are, if the kids are under 12 years old. It is especially true if your wife is a muslim and if you are a convert.
              You must be aware of a few things:
              - your kids are entitled to have the indonesian citizenship (full dual citizenship until 18 years old, then a choice must be made before they reach the age of 21)
              - if they stay in Indonesia with a paspor RI, then your embassy in JKT won't be of any help should your wife decide to refuse you any right of visiting

              If I would be in your situation, i would try to find out what are REALLY her intentions (real cause for the divorce, her personal plans...etc).

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              • #8
                they only have u.k passports.

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                • #9
                  They only have UK passports NOW. It wouldn't be hard for the mother to have them dual citizenship, even during a trip/short stay to Indonesia.

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                  • #10
                    Andyh I think you need to listen to Atlantis.

                    In USA or UK you would get a lawyer and the case would go to a family court for some reasonable divorce and jurisdiction over the children. The court would decide in the children's favour on what is best for them.

                    If you bring them to Indonesia IMO all bets are off that any consideration, even legally, would be applicable. I believe the children would go to her, notwithstanding any other reasoning, and she would control access to them.

                    As Atlantis says...she could easily get RI citizenship for them if they were born pre-2006, as is currently being discussed on another thread.

                    David

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                    • #11
                      When you say you are in the US, are you US resident or just visiting. Where is your current country of residence ?

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                      • #12
                        I married in Indonesia and divorced in NA. No problems doing it that way. The issue is where do you and your wife intend to live? For a man it is almost impossible to get main custody anywhere because as in North America the kids typically go to the Primary (the parent the kids spend the most time with) parent and that is normally the mother. In Indonesia she will also probably get them and if she wants to get nasty can pretty much keep you away from them all she wants. I truely hope that isn't the kind of person she is for you and your childrens sake.

                        In NA if you make the majority or all the funds, you wll pay the most in money and lessened time with your children.

                        The courts spout they "decide with what is best for the children", but that is a crock of crap. They decide what is best for the government. If it means splitting the family up over great distances so the government is almost ensured no further burden they gladly do it regardless of what is truely best for the children.

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by atlantis View Post
                          Then the divorce has to be pronounced in Indonesia and the indonesian civil laws are the one prevailing. In most cases a court would give custody to the mother, whatever the nationality of the kids are, if the kids are under 12 years old. It is especially true if your wife is a muslim and if you are a convert.
                          You must be aware of a few things:
                          - your kids are entitled to have the indonesian citizenship (full dual citizenship until 18 years old, then a choice must be made before they reach the age of 21)
                          - if they stay in Indonesia with a paspor RI, then your embassy in JKT won't be of any help should your wife decide to refuse you any right of visiting

                          If I would be in your situation, i would try to find out what are REALLY her intentions (real cause for the divorce, her personal plans...etc).

                          Ditto, and especially her intentions with the kids, I would have an airtight contract drawn up for access rights as part of your divorce agreement, and just to make sure she sticks to it, link it with any money settlement if possible.
                          IknowthatyoubelieveyouunderstandwhatyouthinkIsaid, butI'mnotsureyourealisethatwhatyouheardisnotwhatI meant.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by omdafyd View Post
                            Ditto, and especially her intentions with the kids, I would have an airtight contract drawn up for access rights as part of your divorce agreement, and just to make sure she sticks to it, link it with any money settlement if possible.
                            Don't know about Indonesia but in NA impossible to do that. They are all a part of the parent plan but not dependant on one another. For example all childsupport and any spousal maintenance is sent directly to a government agency and they then send it on to the spouse. If either of the parents are monkeying and playing games with the amount of time each spends with the children complaints can be filed by the other parent and they have to go before the judge. If it continues the judge can completely change the parent plan. If the two parents can't get it together to make things work peacefully then the judge holds power over your lives anytime the other parent wants to make it so. Fun huh?

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                            • #15
                              Atlantis...I'm sure you will correct me but I don't think that it is essential to be divorced in the same jurisdiction that one is married.
                              Unless, of course, this is another Indonesian special provision of which I, and most others, would be unaware.

                              This new friend of the forum needs urgent help from those who have information. He also needs to provide more details so that we are properly directing .

                              I suggest we members curtail frivolous comments and concentrate on pertinent advice if available...for example; Pimpin has experience in NA where the OP currently resides. Except for Pimpins clear anger, his positive experience/knowledge is useful.

                              Is anyone out there with other experiences or real knowledge that can help Andyh?

                              David

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