Typical Indonesia(n)

**anderson** · 09-05-10, 04:09

Recently I found a web page of someone who wrote things that he found 'typical Indonesian'. It was a funny list that described typical Indonesian habits, views and thoughts. Many things were easily recognizable for foreigners who have been living around Indonesians for quite some time. Some were clearly written out of frustration, but nonetheless they are still funny. Below there are some of the ones I think are amusing. If you have any to add, please don't hesitate.

You know you are Indonesian if...

-Your stomach growls when you don't eat rice 3 times a day
-You use a bucket instead of toilet paper in the bathroom
-You dream about rice
-You only put fuel in your vehicle when it runs out, in order to save money
-You think it's ok to drive with your lights permanently on high beam
-You think it's normal to see a motor bike with 5 people on it
-You believe that you must be rugged up like a polar bear when you drive a motor bike
-You regularly use your motor bike as a pickup
-You think Supermi is staple food
-You have ever successfully bribed a police officer
-You ever legally bought pirated software
-You think standing in line is a waste of time
-Your whole class has ever collectively saved up lunch money to bribe the teacher
-You think the Thomas Cup is equal to the Super Bowl
-You make sentences only consisting of acronyms and abbreviations

and many more...

**Injun** · 09-05-10, 04:58

Here's an extended list at the forum's sister site:
http://www.expat.or.id/info/anindonesian.html

Many are obsolete, but most of them are still amusingly true.

**anderson** · 09-05-10, 05:47

Thanks Injun, the list looks a lot like the one I saw somewhere else, but this one is more complete. Here are some other 'signs' that you might be Indonesian:

-You must park within 3 meters of your destination
-You believe that being overweight is healthy
-You think that Formaldehyde is a common food preservative
-You start the engine of your bike or car to warm it up daily, even if you are not going anywhere
-You prefer shamans over medical experts
-You are ignorant of the lewd meaning of the English text on your T-shirt

more to follow...

**Injun** · 09-05-10, 09:27

Originally Posted by anderson

-You are ignorant of the lewd meaning of the English text on your T-shirt

You remind me of this

**kingwilly** · 09-05-10, 09:58

haha noice one.

**gffgold** · 09-05-10, 10:43

Last week in M&S at Senayan City they were playing a rap tune with a lot of f***s in it over the PA. Marks and Sparks of all places.

**anderson** · 09-05-10, 12:29

Originally Posted by gffgold

Last week in M&S at Senayan City they were playing a rap tune with a lot of f***s in it over the PA. Marks and Sparks of all places.

Haha, that reminds me of shopping one morning at Alfa Mart (Indomaret's little sister) and they were playing a rap song, a woman was singing...Yeah, I want you to lick me there. C'mon c'mon 'n lick my hmmmmmmmmmmm... During the progress of the song she shared some more of her intimate desires with us and at the end I think she was having an orgasm or so. Not really the type of song that stimulates buying things for breakfast.

How to tell if you're Indonesian:

-You have a Playboy sticker or a a sticker of a nude woman on the back of your bike/car
-Your car or motorbike refuses to travel in a straight line
-You refuse to turn your headlights on until two hours after nightfall
-You think sugar is a healthy substance
-You think it's ok to travel at 10kph, with traffic banked up behind you
-You believe that it is mandatory to change a tyre in the middle of the road

**gffgold** · 09-05-10, 12:37

Originally Posted by anderson

-You refuse to turn your headlights on until two hours after nightfall

Ah, gitu. But that is so you can save enough listrik to have your high beam and foglights on for the rest of the night.

**anderson** · 09-05-10, 13:34

Here we go again:

-You use more than one title before and after your name at unofficial occasions
-You believe that other people's lost property automatically becomes yours when you find it
-Your Wikipedia-entries are incomplete and unreliable, except the ones about ghosts and porn actresses
-You make major decisions based on prestige
-You use a river as a toilet, a bathroom AND as a place to wash your clothes
-You roll up the lower part of your T-shirt to crop out your belly

Am I stepping on anybody's toes already?