Indonesian Friends

**Paman Gober** · 14-08-09, 14:05

After reading another thread http://www.livinginindonesiaforum.or...ead.php?t=4070 I started to wonder about something.

How many of the expat men here have close friendships with Indonesian males? Are most of your friends Indonesian or western? Why?

Of the western guys that I'm acquainted with, I have found that most do not have many Indonesian friends, if any at all, and was wondering what peoples' thoughts were.

Oh yeah- I'm referring to close platonic friendships.

**gffgold** · 14-08-09, 14:12

I have more Indonesian close friends than westerners. Several that I've known for a few years now. I'm not a drinker and most westerners that I know here are, so I tend to meet people at the gym or with common interests.

**Mas Fred** · 14-08-09, 14:29

I have three foreign friends here. All the rest of my many friends are Indonesians.

**Hombre de Maiz** · 14-08-09, 17:03

I am not the type to have lots and lots of friends anywhere. I am also not the type to have male friends, preferring the company of women in most cases. I don't have any close male Indonesian friends. I have maybe one, perhaps two close female Indonesian friends. I have some foreign acquaintances, and perhaps two expat friends. Finally, I've never needed to have lots of friends.

**Pimpin** · 15-08-09, 08:31

I too am not in need nor seek/desire a lot of friends. The concept of friends or "best" friends is very different here compared to, ahhh lets say NA or better yet, compared to my thinking. I'm interested in quality not quantity but Indonesians seem to relax on requiring the former to acheive the latter. I have one best friend. Until I came to Indonesia I didn't know it was possible to have more than one.

I will only have one at a time and I suspect the one I have will have to be dead before I declare a new one.
I have several Indonesian male aquaintances who I enjoy running into from time to time and might some day find out just how good friends they are or maybe not. The relationships just haven't had any natural tests to say they are great friends. They seem to be good people and I like what I know of them but I am not close with them in the sense of feeling a deep kinship. I have one very good Indonesian male friend who I spend little time with and enjoy anytime we are together in "real" and in chat. With most I might put out my fingernail in trust. With him he'd have my finger. I'd risk more but I just can't afford it at the moment. Besides, I'm too good a friend of his to do that too him anyway. Too much pressure.

I've spent way more time with Indonesian females than any other species in Indonesia. (suprise suprise). I prefer their company too. Im not gay and I like sex so females for me are really handy in that way. Plus with the right ones they can be a lot of fun to make laugh and the great ones get me gigglin too. Your really hooked in when you meet one you can banter with in wit. Love it. Rare but it happens. Then we make love and laugh again. Try that with a guy. Nahhhh don't really.

If I can't talk about anything with a person and feel welcomed to do so, they can only be a friend on a lesser scale and will never acheive good to great friend status to me. I can say it goes the other way too, meaning, if they can't talk with me, (tell me highly personal things and sharing deeper thoughts) about anything.....