Now THAT's funny
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have a
dinner with her parents.
Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that
after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.
The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip
to the pharmacist to get some condoms.. He tells the pharmacist it's his
first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells
the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like
to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack.
The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather
busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his
girlfriend at the door.
"Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's
parents are seated.
The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes,
and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over
and whispers to the boyfriend, 'I had no idea you were this religious.'
The boy turns, and whispers back,
'I had no idea your father was a pharmacist!'
Now THAT's funny
I guess two of us thought so!
Here's a new one!
A man is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he
comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds to
walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher....
The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of
alcohol, hereupon he asks the drunk,
'Are you ready to find Jesus?'
The drunk shouts, 'Aye, Ah am.' So the preacher grabs him and dunks
him in the water. He pulls him up
and asks the drunk, Brother have you found Jesus?' The drunk
replies, 'No, Ah havnae found Jesus.'
The preacher shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again for
a little longer. He again pulls him out of the water and asks again,
'Have you found Jesus my brother?' The drunk again answers, 'No, Ah
havnae found Jesus.'
By this time the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk in
the water again ---
but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds and when he begins
kicking his arms and legs he pulls him up.
The preacher again asks the drunk, 'For the love of God have you found Jesus?"
The drunk wipes his eyes, catches his breath and says to the preacher,
"Are ye sure this is where he fell in"?
Last edited by MattyRedSox; 20-02-13 at 10:03.
For the record, I found both of them funny ...
Me too, both great jokes
Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds. Albert Einstein
I got a mild chuckle, but they are a bit lengthy for a slow reader such as myself. Henny Youngman crass brevity is more my style.
For waarmstrong - Four men walk into a bar. The fifth one ducks.