Indonesian or foreigner change religion?

**Bakpia** · 27-08-12, 20:25

There is no box 'other'. Seriously, today I had to fill in some documents that gave the option male/female/other and the option WNI/WNA/other. Can't an atheist just fill in other and then write FSM or something?

**tihzho** · 27-08-12, 21:20

Changing one's religion for the sake of a marriage document is already making a mockery of religion and "living a lie". If its that easy to change why not change, get married and change back? If as was said, no one expects you to go to a Mosque or quit drinking or eating pork, so certainly no one is going round up a mob to stone you to death for opting out, yes? Its the same as picking up a couple of kids on the street for the 3 in 1.

**ReveurGAM** · 27-08-12, 23:36

Bakpia: On one of the forms I recently filled out while going through the change of sponsorship, there was an "other" box for religion.

tihzho: If one has no choice but to make a choice, then the lie is forced upon one. If various governmental agents refuse to officiate a mixed-religion marriage, then it's even more forced.

If one, after marriage, changes religion to something else, that could cause problems, such as the accusation of apostasy (which some Muslims take seriously and can lead to divorce). Historically, exclusionary religions have not been very tolerant of mixed marriages - in senior high I had a pair of friends who were dating. One was a Catholic, the other a Protestant. Their parents forbade the relationship. This was in a suburb of a large city in the US.

Namaste, peace & love,
Glenn

**Hiram** · 29-08-12, 16:09

Interesting thread!

I'm in a similar position as the person who started the thread. I am not a member of any religious group and believe that spiritual matters should be a private issue. My girlfriend on the other hand comes from a Muslim family, and folks at the Kampung seem to expect me to convert before an eventual marriage. Despite not belonging to any particular denomination, I do take spiritual matters quite seriously, am not a big fan of Abrahamic religions and am thus not willing to convert just for the sake of her family's happiness. Let alone some day having to raise my children according to a bunch of religious dogmas I do not believe in at all, just so that grandpa and grandma at the Kampung are happy. No way, José! My girlfriend herself doesn't really care about the religious issue, but is deeply concerned about angering her parents, friends and former neighbors if she marries a non-Muslim.

At the moment, we're really stuck in this debate and my only idea to solve this conundrum would be to marry outside of Indonesia, most likely Hong Kong. My question to those that have married outside of Indonesia, be it in Singapore or somewhere else, is: Has this really worked with regard to comforting the parents?

Sure, in terms of legal issues this solves the problems, but how would it affect the parents' acceptance of their daughter marrying a non-believing bule? I don't really see how that logic would work. "At least she didn't do it in Indonesia"?! And that makes thing better for the intolerant folks over at the Kampung? I don't get it...

**ReveurGAM** · 29-08-12, 22:46

Hiram, all I can say is it's not a win-able situation if her parents are serious Muslims. If they're not, then I wouldn't worry too much about the neighbors, unless you're planning to live there...

I wish you success in this!

Namaste, peace & love,
Glenn

**MadCat** · 29-08-12, 23:31

Again I'll re-add my 2 cents. I used to be an agnostic-ish type, and converted to Islam. Why me? It was the easiest path. Granted, in the eyes of many you'd be living a lie, but show me a perfect muslim in Indonesia and I'll start being one. And admittedly it doesn't look bad on the paperwork either.

Yes, I'm a KTP muslim, and not afraid to say so.

**Vulgarian** · 30-08-12, 01:21

I try to keep my new religion funky.

**DanInAceh** · 30-08-12, 09:57

For the record, as the closest thing to a resident "representative" of religious fanaticism (even though I'm hardly that!), I thought it was funny.

Please don't delete.

**bad_azz** · 30-08-12, 10:50

@greves... if you are still in Bandung, don't get too worried about religion and families etc... it is on the whole a very laid back place ... most of my moslem friends have at some point eaten pork - even dog and drunk beer (and other booze), very few of them observe puasa in Ramadan. They just don't advertise the fact (or rub people's faces in it).

If you are not prepared to compromise your integrity/ beliefs then marry outside of Indonesia- despite the trials and tribulations we experienced in Bangkok it was really only a hardship because we did not have the permission letter from his family (and only because we fully believed that there was no legitimate need for it).
Get the tickets, get the paperwork in order, get a hotel and go to Bangkok... (it is cheaper to eat/live and stay than Singapore).

Check out for national holidays etc before you go- we did it all in 2 weeks and that included 2 days of holidays and having to wait for couriered letters.
With 1 day to spare.
A quick synopsis of what happened or should have happened for us...
Days 1 / 2
- go to your embassy and get your freedom to marry document (took 30 minutes in UK embassy).
Same day -if before 11-45 go to Indonesian Embassy and submit all the papers- they will tell you to go back the next day between 2 and 3 to collect the freedom to marry document.
Get these 2 documents translated by a sworn translator - this takes about an hour.
Day 3 (or 4- if any delays)
- go to MOFA to get the documents stamped and authorised - get there early and get the "express service" double cost but same day papers - collection usually about 12 (midday)... you now have what you need to get married...
Go get married...
Get translations done of the documents.
Day 4
- Return to MOFA with the marriage certificates and translations (in English- as the Indonesian Embassy stipulates this language ).
Submit them for the express service again and collect same day (midday).
Now you are almost done.
Day 5
- take translations to Indonesian Embassy and submit them before 11-45 am.
Day 6
- Collect stamped documents next day between 2-3 pm.
All done and dusted then- except for registering with the Catatan Sipil in Bandung... that is how it should be... as I said we had a couple of hiccoughs so had a few days delay in this.

link to full thread...
Getting-married-in-Bangkok-mixed-marriage-nationality-and-religion

**mr9mahmud** · 28-09-12, 12:39

i just want to say, if she marry other religion people(except christian n jewish), she will lose her religion, she wont be muslim anymore, n she will b cursed, as the muslim holybooks says...