Indonesian Women

**femme** · 29-10-12, 22:21

well yeah, maybe. My interpretation about virgin is someone who never had sexual intercourse. But then again, that's only definition by dictionary. Other people might have different interpretation and that's fine.
But I think we have gone a bit far from the original topic

**sweetmaria** · 30-10-12, 09:42

Originally Posted by xoxoandri

no, you're not.

and everything i said above was about my indonesian point of view. i have one friend whose boyfriend forced her to had sex with him and they did. she told me and i still keep it a secret till now because i don't want anyone to know and judge her bad. (her family is the conservative one).
i know it's different in the west and other side of the world. everyone has the right to choose what they want to do. trust me i dont wanna judge anyone.

Forcing someone to have sex with you is already considered a rape.

I hope that your friend can still appreciate the opposite sex unlike me. It took me months to get back on my feet and years to finally accept that there are good men out there.

Keeping that a secret, for me personally, is the most stupid way to deal with it. Because you allow him to hurt others too. I was there too and I know how stupid it was that i let him go.

**Lumaca** · 30-10-12, 09:52

Originally Posted by femme

well yeah, maybe. My interpretation about virgin is someone who never had sexual intercourse. But then again, that's only definition by dictionary. Other people might have different interpretation and that's fine.
But I think we have gone a bit far from the original topic

And what is the definition of sexual intercourse, then?

**PhilippeD** · 30-10-12, 10:28

Originally Posted by xoxoandri

for indonesians, it's important to stay virgin. if people know someone (girl) isn't virgin anymore, they would label her as "slut". that's the way it is here. so, if you're an indonesian and had sex with your bf, better keep it for yourself, don't tell anyone.

im virgin but definitely not innocent. im a bit naughty but im keeping myself for my future husband.
and yeah i prefer he's virgin too but if he isn't it's okay as long as he will be faithful with me.
as for experience, hmm that's what videos are made for....

I have a co-worker who had been married not long ago... gosh, that make already a year of that!!!

They were both "inexperimented" and virgin.
It take them many many week before the finally do it... even in their honey moon they were too much shy for doing nothing!!!

The comment of the guy after his first night (reported by someone else): "Nah! it was really not like what I saw in porn movie!!!"

For my point of view, porn movie have a no "affection/kiss/caress" that make them a very very bad base as learning to make love.
No one need to "learn" for doing sex. Making love it's quite different, you need to learn what please your partner (from both side).
There is no "way to do" of "time it must last", it's different for each person and it's from that many people take the "must try before buy".

Like I ever said before... most men that ask for their wife are virgin (go figure out, it's always one way!) is because they have a huge lack of confidence in their own "performance"... and I do believe it's often for reason! if from the start you have low respect for your wife, it would be quite hard to reach an "harmony" with her!

Anyway... if the girl is virgin... she will not know!

**Kinky** · 30-10-12, 12:15

I would expect my future husband to be a virgin, so that I can teach him... LOL, JK.

In my point of view, having sexual intercourse with a virgin or inexperience partner is a hard work. Been there and it's frustrating.
Having a mutual and compatible partner is more satisfying.

**Guangzhou** · 30-10-12, 14:11

Kind of funny how people assume their belief is the norm and others aren't.

I know more than a few Indonesia couples, both Indonesian, and they are enjoying very healthy sex lives. The idea that men, what ever nationality, will only marry a virgin, or think that women who say yes are sluts is a basic high schooler's view of life.

I teach High schooler's, many many of which are Indonesian. I know 100% they several of them have done much more than oral sex.

I would say Virgin's until marriage are the exception, not the norm.

My wife is Indonesian, I'm not. Neither her nor I were virgins when we met. We had sex before we married, and we still decided to get married knowing both of us had tasted the forbidden fruit.

Get over yourselves, if you want to have sex, go for it. A man who loves you, will not mind you sexual history. Avoid STDs and make sure you're honest about your past.

**waarmstrong** · 30-10-12, 21:51

A wise voice of reason has just chimed in.

**ScooterIndo** · 31-10-12, 02:35

Originally Posted by Kinky

I would expect my future husband to be a virgin, so that I can teach him... LOL, JK.

In my point of view, having sexual intercourse with a virgin or inexperience partner is a hard work. Been there and it's frustrating.
Having a mutual and compatible partner is more satisfying.

It wouldnt be hard work at all - it would only take 2 seconds

**xoxoandri** · 31-10-12, 06:09

Originally Posted by sweetmaria

Forcing someone to have sex with you is already considered a rape.

I hope that your friend can still appreciate the opposite sex unlike me. It took me months to get back on my feet and years to finally accept that there are good men out there.

Keeping that a secret, for me personally, is the most stupid way to deal with it. Because you allow him to hurt others too. I was there too and I know how stupid it was that i let him go.

not really forcing because he asked her but threaten to break up with her if she didn't wanna have sex with him.
she's now okay but think twice to have a relationship again.

Originally Posted by PhilippeD

I have a co-worker who had been married not long ago... gosh, that make already a year of that!!!

They were both "inexperimented" and virgin.
It take them many many week before the finally do it... even in their honey moon they were too much shy for doing nothing!!!

The comment of the guy after his first night (reported by someone else): "Nah! it was really not like what I saw in porn movie!!!"

For my point of view, porn movie have a no "affection/kiss/caress" that make them a very very bad base as learning to make love.
No one need to "learn" for doing sex. Making love it's quite different, you need to learn what please your partner (from both side).
There is no "way to do" of "time it must last", it's different for each person and it's from that many people take the "must try before buy".

Like I ever said before... most men that ask for their wife are virgin (go figure out, it's always one way!) is because they have a huge lack of confidence in their own "performance"... and I do believe it's often for reason! if from the start you have low respect for your wife, it would be quite hard to reach an "harmony" with her!

Anyway... if the girl is virgin... she will not know!

my pembantu told me her "first night" (malam pertama, first time) story, they were both shy at first but they did it and they lived happily.
most of people i know also virgin marry and they are still happy couples till now.
a lot of local men here "wants to try but wants to buy the one that still covered"

lol yeah i have no experience at this, but i believe at "learning by doing".

**Vivian Handstrong** · 08-11-12, 23:14

Originally Posted by Kinky

I would expect my future husband to be a virgin, so that I can teach him... LOL, JK.

In my point of view, having sexual intercourse with a virgin or inexperience partner is a hard work. Been there and it's frustrating.
Having a mutual and compatible partner is more satisfying.

Hihihi, hidup brondong...just kidding...

Yep, virginity is not as important as honesty and love.