So a duck walks into a bar and goes straight to the bartender. "Hey, ya got any grapes?" asks the duck.
The bartender gives a wary eye to the fowl. "No, duck. This is a bar. We serve beer and liquor, but no grapes."
"Oh," says the duck. "OK!" Whirling around, the duck walks right out the door.
The next day, the duck returns, waddling right up the bar. "Hey, ya got any grapes?" the duck eagerly asks.
The bartender, already annoyed from the day before, says curtly, "No, I told you we only have beer and liquor."
"Oh," says the duck. "OK!" He whirls around and walks out the door.
The following day, the duck returns to the bar yet again. "Hey, ya got any grapes?" the duck asks.
The bartender, already annoyed from the day before, slams him fist down on the countertop. "No, duck! I already told you, we do not serve grapes! We serve beer! We serve liquor! Now get out of my bar and don't come back! If I see you in here again tomorrow, I'm gonna nail your beak to my wall!"
The duck looks the bartender dead in the eye. "Oh," he says, "OK!" Whirling around, the duck walks out the door. The bartender gives a sigh of relief and returns to his other patrons.
The next days comes. The bartender spends most of his morning watching the door, waiting. After two hours, there is no sign of the duck. Relieved, the bartender begins his daily chores.
Suddenly, the door flies open. Casting a long shadow deep into the bar, the duck struts in with his beak held high. Slowly and carefully, the duck approaches the bartender.
"Hey, ya got any nails?" asks the duck.
"Great! Got any grapes?"
-my friend Boston likes to tell this joke at get-togethers in a super long, drawn-out manner. It's hilarious.