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Dating Hijabers (Women who wear head scarfs.)

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  • Originally posted by jstar View Post
    Fetish, just like for uniforms? Forbidden fruit? Just curiosity? Some twisted idea about obedience? The need for 'my wife needs to be a nun in public but a whore in my bed'?
    You missed one ... the mother fetish, presuming you are old enough to have a mother who wore a scarf on a windy or bad hair day, you know, when the beehive wouldn't quite do it's thing.
    Last edited by macvert; 18-01-16, 18:21.
    The answer is 42 .... any questions? .

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    • I live with my lovely Muslim wife here in Perth WA (I also am Muslim since 2010) and she always wears hijab in public or when we have guests over.
      She has only done so for the last couple of years here in Perth, it took her a while to get her confidence level up to wear it in a western society and I was very supportive for her to do so. There are quite a few people who wear them though and no one really takes any notice, Perth is very multicultural.
      I am quite happy to be seen with her wearing them, I find them very feminine and it is important to her to be comfortable and enjoy her religion as well.
      The problem with Indonesia is, it's there and I'm here.

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      • Perhaps our remarks came across in a different way, Adam. What we meant, was not to criticize the choice of the women to wear a hijab, but the 'desire' for some of the male posters with very different non Muslim backgrounds, to date such a woman. Just because of the hijab.
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        • That's fine thanks Jstar,
          I understand, just putting my thoughts in as a husband of a muslim lady.
          The problem with Indonesia is, it's there and I'm here.

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          • I hope BayangPutih meet with a good muslimah...
            Very lucky if you marry with a good muslimah....

            Following Majelis Taklim that learning Tasawuf (purification of the heart), or manajemen qolbu...that concern to increase iman (faith) and ihsan (akhlak or good attitudes). Insya Allah you will find a good one....
            [FONT=comic sans ms]"The body needs food, the souls needs Zikr, the mind needs fikr, and the heart should always be doing shukr"[/FONT][FONT=comic sans ms][/FONT]

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            • Originally posted by ScooterIndo View Post
              I know quite a few Muslims that do eat pork and just don't subscribe to the "haram" point of view. On the other hand I have known plenty that wont eat pork, but they will drink alcohol or drop an E when they go clubbing. I also have a few gay and lesbian friends in relationships, which according to some trains of thought is a complete contradiction in terms, yet they will still pray XX times a day and consider themselves "good Muslims". And lets be honest, (almost) every girlfriend I have had here has been a Muslim and despite their own personal standpoint on wearing a jilbab, praying and alcohol or pork consumption all of them have been quite happy to engage in sex before marriage.

              As I have said before to a prominent Islamic poster here, Islam is very rigid, very black and white, but in this day and age the reality is varying shades of grey especially outside of the middle East where women aren't as repressed by men and have access to education and rights.

              Originally posted by ScooterIndo View Post
              ...And lets be honest, (almost) every girlfriend I have had here has been a Muslim and despite their own personal standpoint on wearing a jilbab, praying and alcohol or pork consumption all of them have been quite happy to engage in sex before marriage.

              [COLOR=#333333]This is a very interesting thread. I am an Indonesian woman who's wearing hijab. Granted, I cannot speak for all hijabi Indonesian women but maybe I can add some of my personal opinions and experience.

              I am just going to say, if u said every girlfriend with hijab u've been dating and they were ok to engage in sex before marriage, i think it's personal choice... I think the women with hijab and same also with women without hijab have they own choice to decide. but If a hijabi woman so they should know better, it's prohibited in Islam -[/COLOR]

              [COLOR=#333333]Marry a non-muslim foreigner based on my religion is prohibited. First of all, the definition of "getting to know each other" in my dictionary is maybe quiet different with others. let's just say for me, it's all the talk like in the usual dating scenario but minus all the physical contact. Personally, as long as this person knows and respects that there will be no physical aspect of the dating, I won't mind dating one with the prospect of marriage. Unfortunately, I understand, this may be too much of a burden, minus all the fun for many non-muslim expat, event if they already muslim converted.

              I have been marry for almost 11 years and still counting....I knew my husband from internet from our mutual friends ( who's marrying with expat also from europe). me and my husband in that time had the same intention : to get marry, not just for fun. So after 3 months we knew each other from internet, we communicated just from phone call, and chat/discus... then we're agreed to meet each other in the real life. so he came to Indonesian.... and then, after 10 days we're agreed to get marry. and we're dating after we marry. :-)....


              So i wonder with ur comment about "to engage in sex before marriage"...maybe the situation is changing right now...but as my opinion if u are a woman with hijab then u will be wait to have sex after marriage. I know it sounds conventionelt.....[/COLOR][COLOR=#333333]
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              [COLOR=#1D2129][FONT=helvetica]
              [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=#1D2129][FONT=helvetica]The road doesn't go where you planned. It goes where it's written to be[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=#1D2129][FONT=helvetica]
              [/FONT][/COLOR]

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              • Everyone has different standards.

                Long gone are the days that a woman must be a protected virgin to be able to marry. In my wilder dating days, as Scooter has mentioned, there are many muslim women who have no qualms about having a sexual relationship before marriage. Most did not wear jilbabs, but a couple did.

                I would not marry someone that I hadn't lived with, and had a normal sexual relationship with. Too much like a pig in a poke...
                Sasa Bule is having a bayi!

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                • I took the broom and did a bit of cleaning...
                  Off topic posts are here: http://www.livinginindonesiaforum.or...e-Posts-Thread

                  Jeez... this is Sunday and I do some housekeeping. Please don't litter no more. Keep the thread on topic. Thanks.

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                  • Good morning everyone I do hope you are all doing well. There has been a question that has been on my mind for a very long time. As we expats in Indonesia know a lot of Indonesian women like wearing Hijab (head scarfs not veils.) Women often wear this to cover their aurat (to keep modest) either because they are really into Islam, forced to my family pressure, or like to wear it as a fashion statement (if you think my statement is crazy look at the hijab ladies who go to places like Grand Indonesia or places of that nature.)

                    There are plenty of Hijabers who are very beautiful, smart, and ooze charisma. However trying to date them is nearly impossible even if you are a mualaf like myself (for the record I am not dating anyone, speaking from experience before I got married.) From the data I have gathered they prefer guys who are Muslim, but Muslim locals. However if you are Arab or Indian (vast majority of hijab ladies I know are huge into Indian music and men for reasons I cannot fathom.) They seem to be terrified or just simply not interested in other expats especially white guys.

                    Which is very sad, because like I sad there are lots of Hijabers who would make amazing wifes and girlfriends. This leads to a few questions.

                    1. For women in conservative Muslim families is it forbidden to date expat men? Even if the expat man is a mualaf (revert)?

                    2. I've noticed that the few hijaber women who do date expats tend to remove their hijab when going out with expat man. Is it due to pressure from the man, or is there a social stigma for Hijabers to date foreigners especially if they are not Muslim?

                    3. What would be the best way to approach and date women who are conservative of that nature?

                    4. Are there any pros or cons of dating women who are very strongly into Hijabing (new term just made up?)

                    Thank you for your time.
                    Personally, when I had to move to Indonesia I really was afraid of religious women in Indonesia and of the fact that they will be afraid to date a western man because of their faithfulness to local men. However, evenrything I afraid of turned out to be a simple self-belief and fear, because it turned out, that indonesian women are like its discriben in the article about Indonesian women

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                    • Originally posted by Steepich View Post

                      Personally, when I had to move to Indonesia I really was afraid of religious women in Indonesia and of the fact that they will be afraid to date a western man because of their faithfulness to local men. However, everything I afraid of turned out to be a simple self-belief and fear, because it turned out, that indonesian women are like its describen in the article about Indonesian women https://idateadvice.com, and you know, I had some dates and I would like to say, that information from that article was true, because they love fun and are outgoing. Moreover, they turned to be more extroverted naturally and easily get acquainted
                      you know, it interesting information about dating

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