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  • US Mom Indonesian Dad

    While traveling in Bali. I got pregnant by an Indonesian guy. I am a female US citizen and he is an Indonesian citizen.

    My baby girl was born here in the US where I currently live.

    Her dad and I are not together but he wants to see her. We are not married or planning to get married. He and I had little contact until after the baby was born.

    Could I have problems if I take her to visit her dad in Indonesia? Is it possible for him to try and get parental rights?

    I dont want to take her there and have problems returning to the US. I want to have sole parental rights.

    When she was born she was given my last name and her dad was not listed on her birth certificate.

    Any help/advice is much appreciated.

  • #2
    Originally posted by Lisakalia View Post
    ...Is it possible for him to try and get parental rights?...
    In Indonesia, a child born outside of the marriage of mixed-couples is not entitled for parental relationship with the father. He/she only has civil law relationship with the mother. The name of the father is not showed on the birth certificate. Although it is not easy and may take some time but it is possible for the father to get parental rights. According to Citizenship Act 12/2006 article 4 point (h), children born out of wedlock to a foreign mother, where the child is recognised (proven by court decision) by an Indonesian father as his child and this is declared before the child reaches 18 (eighteen) years of age and unmarried, are Indonesian citizens.

    Just my two cents, I'm sure the others will help you.
    [COLOR="navy"]Leave the gun, take the cannoli[/COLOR] - The Godfather

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    • #3
      Have him visit you.
      "Science is the philosophy of discovery. Intelligent design is a philosophy of ignorance"

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      • #4
        Why isn't he on the birth certificate?
        Sounds like there is a lot we are being 'not told'.

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        • #5
          @redsnapr I was thinking the same but as far as his finances he cant afford to fly here.... so was thinking i would rather fly myself there then fly him here.

          But if there is a chance him or his family could take her from me then flying there is out of the question!!

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          • #6
            He is not on the birth certificate because he didnt want to be involved with me or the baby. He wanted me to have an abortion. He only started contacting me 2 months before the baby was born ..

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            • #7
              Mas Fred asks:
              "Why isn't he on the birth certificate?
              Sounds like there is a lot we are being 'not told'."
              It seems to me that the OP gave all the info required to have her question answered.

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              • #8
                aight, he asked you for abortion then now he wanted to see the baby....and you let him....why?...
                Originally posted by Lisakalia View Post
                @redsnapr I was thinking the same but as far as his finances he cant afford to fly here.... so was thinking i would rather fly myself there then fly him here.

                But if there is a chance him or his family could take her from me then flying there is out of the question!!
                Its heading to that direction lady.....seen lots of similar cases....
                send him a ticket instead...
                " Lemme get this straight. Killing one person is a murder, but killing a hundred thousand is a foreign policy ?"

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Lisakalia View Post
                  @redsnapr I was thinking the same but as far as his finances he cant afford to fly here....
                  Buy him a ticket to fly to the US, if you can pay the airline directly. I wouldn't send him money for the ticket, though - that's just asking for trouble.

                  On the other hand, having him visit you could get complicated too, depending on whether he already has a passport and is likely to get a visa. This sounds to me like the sort of visa application those perpetually cranky folks in the US consular office just love to turn down, with a few loud insults thrown in for free.

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                  • #10
                    Lisikalia welcome to the forum.

                    By your own admission you have stated:

                    1. It was holiday romance when pregnancy occurred.
                    2. He wanted you to have an abortion.
                    3. The father has not shown any interest until recently.
                    4. Presumably he does not support the child.
                    5. He doesn't have enough money for a ticket.
                    6. You have been shown how, within RI law, parental right could be transferred.
                    7. Outside of law, the risk of the family absconding with the child is high.
                    8. The risk of ransom demand is high.

                    Given the above I would sit down and seriously question your motive and attention to this matter (i.e. Can anything good come from this venture?) .

                    Just a little respectful fatherly advice.

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                    • #11
                      Why not meet him in a third country, such as Singapore. It could be risky visiting him in Indonesia if he decided to make trouble for you.
                      "[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Helvetica Neue]I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.[/FONT][/COLOR]"
                      George Bernard Shaw

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                      • #12
                        If he wants to see his daughter, he will have to make a bone fide effort to do so. This includes coming up with most, if not all of the $$ to do so. He made his bed, now he must lie in it...

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                        • #13
                          I agree with all the advice that you do not come to Indonesia with your child. Also Indonesia has no child abduction laws to protect you or your child.

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                          • #14
                            It is quite sad that relationship like this. Children will need mum and dad.

                            I think, if you can not effort the ticket for your boyfriend to visit you in the US, then I also see lantern advice is the best things to do. Ticket to Singapore, Malaysia is not that expensive nowadays.

                            Once you are in Indonesia you are on your own. So you need to consider this risk, if you do not want to take the chance of loosing the custody of your child or to be blackmailed.. Looking into background information that you have provided, this could be the likely scenario that might happen.

                            Originally posted by lantern View Post
                            Why not meet him in a third country, such as Singapore. It could be risky visiting him in Indonesia if he decided to make trouble for you.
                            Last edited by adindas; 16-05-11, 13:12.

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                            • #15
                              Thank you all for the advice. You guys all confirmed my gut instinct not to bring her to Indonesia.

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