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Indonesian Men take pride by being a good provider? True or False

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  • Indonesian Men take pride by being a good provider? True or False

    Hi Girls, i need your opinon. See the title above.
    What do you girls think, how do indonesian woman think about this topic in general? And indonesian men, how do you think about providing? Do you take pride? Do men get more pride and honor when they can provide better things for their SO?
    Is it person specific or is it part of the Indonesian culture? I am asking this, because i have a indonesian girlfriend, i am from the EU. I met her online, and then we've met 4 times now in real life in the last 2 years. We are even engaged to be married next year. Now my girlfriend is very much an independent woman, she makes her own money as a sales manager, and she has a little brother and sister to take care of on top of her busy life. But ever since we are engaged she is asking for money to pay for this and that, personal care, fitness, her rent for a small house. I buy her gifts sometimes. But i am not feeling comfortable that she always has to ask. She says that men in Indonesia show their pride by being a good provider. That men there show their affection by buying woman clothes, jewelery and take them out to fancy restaurants. Now i am doing all of that when i am with her, but yes most of the times she asks for it. So what i am asking is, is my girlfriend acting "normal", as in according to the average indonesian women? I am generalising now, i know that's wrong. But i just want to know what is the norm, so i can understand the way of thinking more. Thanks very much for your participation.
    Oh my girlfriend is quite materialistic, i guess she put worth in what she can gather materialistically so she feels more worth and happiness.

  • #2
    Originally posted by Visitor77 View Post
    Hi Girls, i need your opinon. See the title above.
    What do you girls think, how do indonesian woman think about this topic in general? And indonesian men, how do you think about providing? Do you take pride? Do men get more pride and honor when they can provide better things for their SO?
    Is it person specific or is it part of the Indonesian culture? I am asking this, because i have a indonesian girlfriend, i am from the EU. I met her online, and then we've met 4 times now in real life in the last 2 years. We are even engaged to be married next year. Now my girlfriend is very much an independent woman, she makes her own money as a sales manager, and she has a little brother and sister to take care of on top of her busy life. But ever since we are engaged she is asking for money to pay for this and that, personal care, fitness, her rent for a small house. I buy her gifts sometimes. But i am not feeling comfortable that she always has to ask. She says that men in Indonesia show their pride by being a good provider. That men there show their affection by buying woman clothes, jewelery and take them out to fancy restaurants. Now i am doing all of that when i am with her, but yes most of the times she asks for it. So what i am asking is, is my girlfriend acting "normal", as in according to the average indonesian women? I am generalising now, i know that's wrong. But i just want to know what is the norm, so i can understand the way of thinking more. Thanks very much for your participation.
    Oh my girlfriend is quite materialistic, i guess she put worth in what she can gather materialistically so she feels more worth and happiness.
    The bolded part is the answer why she thinks that men should pay for their girlfriend needs.

    Comment


    • #3
      Such a mundane reason?! I expected it was a racial thing....
      Last edited by jstar; 10-06-15, 18:18. Reason: it was sarcasm!!! Really!!!
      [FONT=arial black]
      [/FONT]

      Comment


      • #4
        advance booking?
        The answer is 42 .... any questions? .

        Comment


        • #5
          Brollins needs a link to this.
          [COLOR=#008000][FONT=arial]I tried to wrestle my inner demons once... but they used too many illegal holds.[/FONT][/COLOR]

          Comment


          • #6
            Simple response to her: "I am not an Indonesian man"
            Advice for you- if it is pissing you off now , it will only intensify as time goes on... only do what you are comfortable with ... & run- very quickly in the opposite direction- unless of course shallow, materialistic , insecure women float your boat xx
            Cicak Magnet

            Comment


            • #7
              In my point of view and my experience. Indonesian men don't always take pride for being good provider, but... they indeed should be a good provider for their woman, especially when they got married. That's at least, the common norm in Indonesia. We mostly still treat marriage in conventional way which the husband work to get money for his wife and children, while the wife take care their children. However, in big city especially in Jakarta, it has been shifted over time. Now Indonesian women are more proud when they are able to fulfill their needs by themselves or at least help their husband to pay their bills.

              If your GF is independent woman, she should be proud of herself instead, not to ask her BF (too frequently) to fulfill her needs, unless she is tired of work and want to lean herself on your shoulder, and that's the nature of women here. No matter how long she work, soon or later she will get tired and want to rest and delegate the responsibility to fulfill family financial needs to the husband. Or the worst case is she just take advantage on you.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Visitor77 View Post
                Hi Girls, i need your opinon. See the title above.
                What do you girls think, how do indonesian woman think about this topic in general? And indonesian men, how do you think about providing? Do you take pride? Do men get more pride and honor when they can provide better things for their SO?
                Is it person specific or is it part of the Indonesian culture? I am asking this, because i have a indonesian girlfriend, i am from the EU. I met her online, and then we've met 4 times now in real life in the last 2 years. We are even engaged to be married next year. Now my girlfriend is very much an independent woman, she makes her own money as a sales manager, and she has a little brother and sister to take care of on top of her busy life. But ever since we are engaged she is asking for money to pay for this and that, personal care, fitness, her rent for a small house. I buy her gifts sometimes. But i am not feeling comfortable that she always has to ask. She says that men in Indonesia show their pride by being a good provider. That men there show their affection by buying woman clothes, jewelery and take them out to fancy restaurants. Now i am doing all of that when i am with her, but yes most of the times she asks for it. So what i am asking is, is my girlfriend acting "normal", as in according to the average indonesian women? I am generalising now, i know that's wrong. But i just want to know what is the norm, so i can understand the way of thinking more. Thanks very much for your participation.
                Oh my girlfriend is quite materialistic, i guess she put worth in what she can gather materialistically so she feels more worth and happiness.

                Since she likes manipulating you with stupid stereotypes...tell her, "Well, I heard that Indonesian women like to serve their husbands...cook 'em meals, bring them coffee in the morning and submit to them in bed" and wait for her reaction..

                Then, if she started getting crazy, that's your cue to run (and don't look back).

                Comment


                • #9
                  Thanks for your answer Ponyexpress
                  I was thinking that her materialistic had something to do with her behavior. So i am glad you confirmed my thoughts.
                  But could it be a mix of both, being materialistic and her Indonesian background?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    [COLOR=#333333]Such a mundane reason?! I expected it was a racial thing....
                    [/COLOR]
                    Yeah, well i am dealing with an indonesian gf, who used those words on me, so i can not change it to another race or nationality.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by macvert View Post
                      advance booking?
                      Could be the case....she is quite impatient. A real go getter...

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by bad_azz View Post
                        Simple response to her: "I am not an Indonesian man"
                        Advice for you- if it is pissing you off now , it will only intensify as time goes on... only do what you are comfortable with ... & run- very quickly in the opposite direction- unless of course shallow, materialistic , insecure women float your boat xx
                        hahaha I looks so simple....i like your answer, thanks Bad_azz ... i like your nick! hehe
                        Yeah, well i wouldn't mind if she wasn't so materialistic and she not so demanding and insecure sometimes......i guess she wants me to show her i can provide for her, but she can not wait...or am i being used? How to tell? It's difficult for me to see....

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by nakula90 View Post
                          In my point of view and my experience. Indonesian men don't always take pride for being good provider, but... they indeed should be a good provider for their woman, especially when they got married. That's at least, the common norm in Indonesia. We mostly still treat marriage in conventional way which the husband work to get money for his wife and children, while the wife take care their children. However, in big city especially in Jakarta, it has been shifted over time. Now Indonesian women are more proud when they are able to fulfill their needs by themselves or at least help their husband to pay their bills.

                          If your GF is independent woman, she should be proud of herself instead, not to ask her BF (too frequently) to fulfill her needs, unless she is tired of work and want to lean herself on your shoulder, and that's the nature of women here. No matter how long she work, soon or later she will get tired and want to rest and delegate the responsibility to fulfill family financial needs to the husband. Or the worst case is she just take advantage on you.
                          Thanks very much for your point of view, it is a eye-opener for me. I do take my responsibilty when we do get married and i will do my best to provide for her en the children (offcourse). But we are just 'engaged' for a few months. And you know how shaky relationships can be sometimes. Well, my gf is a really independent woman, and also very proud of being an indonesian, she is also very religious. But i guess her pride is not that big that she wants to do it all by herself, she wants and needs a husband/man to provide for her, but she is not admitting it. She sometimes tell me that she doesn't need a man. But still she is quite dominering about my money, and demanding in a way to have her needs met. If i am hesitant, or show any sign of mistrust in her for her asks to pay for her needs, she gets all angry at me.... . She then accuse me i don't trust her.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Banana72 View Post
                            Since she likes manipulating you with stupid stereotypes...tell her, "Well, I heard that Indonesian women like to serve their husbands...cook 'em meals, bring them coffee in the morning and submit to them in bed" and wait for her reaction..

                            Then, if she started getting crazy, that's your cue to run (and don't look back).
                            You had me LOL, haha.....good advice! i will consider to use it Deep down i hope it's really a 'Indonesian' thing, but i am afraid she is just using those stereotypes for her own benefit.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Trolling! The fact is a normal Indonesian man wants a perfect wife that cook, clean, look after kid(s) n house, serve him anytime and anyway he wants and most importantly stay home. Now, who would provide the family if the wife stays home?
                              Not normal men like independent woman that can help him economically. We call them "brondong" ...
                              Last edited by Missnaughty; 11-06-15, 04:16.

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