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Fixing A Broken Heart

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  • Fixing A Broken Heart

    Hey..
    I would like to know how you girls fix your broken heart?
    When your man had proposed you, but accidently he broke it for a significant reason?
    How you survive?
    I know you will cry, but how long you will cry for that guy?
    What cud make you smile again?

    Your thought means a lot to me. Thanks.


    ~J
    meet me on github

  • #2
    Hi Juliana
    What do you mean by "accidently he broke it for a significant reason"


    For answer to your question (even if I'm not a woman):
    Accept it wasn't the good one, and continue your life... it will be a trouble if "your life" was him.
    La motivation vient en se motivant ~ Motivation come by self-motivation

    Comment


    • #3
      Dear MJ, I’m sorry to hear that.
      One thing that you have to remember that he’s not the only guy in the world and that he’s not good enough for you. Whatever happens, trust that it’s better to happen now than later when you are already married to him.

      Believe me leaving a bf or a fiancé is easier and cheaper than leaving a husband (bear in mind the cost of divorce. Too expensive, better to avoid those if you could).
      When you just broke up with your long time bf or partner, there are stages of recovery. I noticed that from myself and from my female friends.
      Stage 1: crying out loud. Blaming ourselves for everything that happened. Some would drown themselves in tones of chocolate or ice cream. In my case, I don’t take too much ice cream or chocolate but I do drink and smoke. My suggestion, try to avoid romantic songs or films and wear waterproof make up.
      Stage 2: blame the ex. Everything that he did was wrong. Nothing is good about him.
      Stage 3: acceptance. Calmly accept the situation. Not yet ready to move on but can manage to go out with your female friends or family without bursting out in public.
      Stage 4: ready to move on. Time to hunt for a new guy.
      How long will you spend in each stages differs from one girl to the other. I usually spent only a month before I was ready to get someone new. Some would take months or even years.
      For now, take your time. Don’t rush to move on, but remember that he’s not the only guy in the world and you deserve someone better than him and get your friends to buy you the best chocolate ice cream in Jakarta and just sit and enjoy it. Btw, warm cammomile tea can also help.
      [COLOR=black]
      [/COLOR]

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      • #4
        Cry, try to spend times with friends, make my self busy with lot of activities, think of happy thoughts, and pray.

        How wud I survive? by saying to my self that he is not an angel and I do not live for him.

        What cud make me smile again? happy thoughts (of mine) and happy faces or experiences (of people around me).

        How long? this was the question I had on my mind too. It can be years, but not gonna be forever. One thing for sure, you can get it trough if you decide to let it go and persist with your decision. Don't look back.
        I smile.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by sweetmaria View Post
          Stage 1: but I do drink and smoke.
          I ate a lot and now you can see the result. Lol.

          Originally posted by sweetmaria View Post
          Stage 1: My suggestion, try to avoid romantic songs or films and wear waterproof make up.
          These are so right. I like love stories. But because of that situation, I am so dislike it.
          I smile.

          Comment


          • #6
            I don't understand "accidentally broke it for a significant reason". If it's an accident, then it's not intentional on his part. But if it's not intentional, then it can't have a "significant reason".

            Maybe it doesn't compute because I'm a guy. I'm gonna shut up now.

            Comment


            • #7
              @Felip and Injun, sssshhhhhtttt...... what she needs now is tonnes of TLC from her family and friends and a couple of gallons of Ben&Jerry'[SIZE=2]s or [/SIZE][FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][SIZE=2]Häagen-Dazs or even both. [/SIZE]

              [/SIZE][/FONT]
              [COLOR=black]
              [/COLOR]

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              • #8
                Originally posted by sweetmaria View Post
                @Felip and Injun, sssshhhhhtttt...... what she needs now is tonnes of TLC from her family and friends and a couple of gallons of Ben&Jerry'[SIZE=2]s or [/SIZE][FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][SIZE=2]Häagen-Dazs or even both. [/SIZE]

                [/SIZE][/FONT]
                I heard that chocolate helps. Also a date with a tall, handsome, intelligent, kind, and western-educated Indonesian guy might cheer her up.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Injun View Post
                  I don't understand "accidentally broke it for a significant reason". If it's an accident, then it's not intentional on his part. But if it's not intentional, then it can't have a "significant reason".

                  Maybe it doesn't compute because I'm a guy. I'm gonna shut up now.
                  I so wanna speculate on this but I can't without sounding callous.

                  Anyway, to the broken hearted, just think of all his faults and be glad that you got rid of him sooner rather than later.
                  With 100% more mischief, skulduggery, and the occasional sarcasm

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Awww Jules!

                    I didn't cry much, but did a lot of thinking (but if you do cry a lot, as Maria said: waterproof mascara!!!). I tried to keep my routine (meaning: working, studying, working out, etc) but I cut myself some slack too. There were times I just wanted to lay in bed and I did. At times like that, having a really good friend there for me also helped. I tend to lose appetite when I'm sad, so friends came over and forced me to eat, just listened to me rant over and over again. After three months of feeling blah, I went out with friends...and lo and behold, I met a wonderful guy who is now my husband. And let me tell you something...I saw my ex again after some years, I realized just how boring, self-centered, and vain my ex was. I couldn't even be bothered to keep him as a platonic friend. Him breaking my heart was the best thing that happened to me. Otherwise I wouldn't have given my now-husband a chance. Otherwise I wouldn't have known what I know now: that I'm way stronger than I gave myself credit for.

                    So keep your head up high, this is just another bump in the road. In due time, you will realize that this is just a new beginning. You close that door but open so many windows for better things to happen to you. Another thing, just let it all out. If you are a crier, cry a lot. If you are a talker like me, talk to your friends and family. Eat chocolate if that's your way of coping. But whatever you do, DO NOT get your hair cut until you feel better. A very dear friend of mine broke up with her first love about the same time I broke up with my fiance. Granted, she was humiliated in the worst way possible (he cheated on her with her girlfriend and he flaunted this new girl in front of all of us). However, she tends to keep things to herself. I have met my now-husband, got married, graduated, moved to different countries, went back to school, graduated, even thought about having a baby now...and she is still single, still so wary of a relationship. I don't know which way is better, but from what I see maybe it's not a bad idea to get it out of your system so you are ready for a fresh start.
                    [FONT=palatino linotype]Fashionably sensitive but too cool to care. [/FONT]

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                    • #11
                      Whatever you do, keep your food intake stable.

                      Dont go drowning your sadness into chocolates, ice cream, terang bulan and other fatty food and excusing your self that those can make you feel better. No, they cant. Well, maybe just a tiny bit, but I wouldn't do it if I were you. You dont want to be over weight and broken hearted, do you ?

                      Go fine some place to do aerobics, or salsa, or chacha. Do it everyday. You will find your self happier, healthier and even sexier.
                      Words can inspire, thoughts can provoke, but only action can get you closer to your dreams.

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                      • #12
                        experienced broken heart many times before, flood of tears yes my fave place to cry is my bath room

                        but, the more we had been in those bad situations the more we will able to overcome with it.
                        i don't know whether the result is bad or not but now i can't put my heart to someone 100%, wiser to make it 90%-95% so when the time sadly come, it will be easier to forget and forgive.
                        I am good, but not an angel. I do sin, but I am not the devil.i'm just.. human

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                        • #13
                          Well I wont explain that much about this [COLOR=#333333]accidently he broke it for a significant reason[/COLOR]. A bit complex.

                          But girls, why I cannot stop crying? I just wanna stop crying and erase those memories of him. How long this will be? You know, I can't stand this situation.

                          Thanks!
                          meet me on github

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by mba juliana View Post
                            Well I wont explain that much about this [COLOR=#333333]accidently he broke it for a significant reason[/COLOR]. A bit complex.But girls, why I cannot stop crying? I just wanna stop crying and erase those memories of him. How long this will be? You know, I can't stand this situation.Thanks!
                            Awhile or until you can let him go completely. The more you force it, the longer it takes for you to let go your (former) significant other.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              If you feel like crying, just cry. Don't hold it back.
                              It'll pass. How long? no one knows but yourself.

                              Once upong a long ago, it only took me a month before I could move on and date a new guy. But there was a time that took me six months to be able to let everything go before I could really move on. When that happened, i finally found my other half.
                              It is going to be hard, but just let it flow. Everything will be okay in the end.
                              [COLOR=black]
                              [/COLOR]

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