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how to make friends in Indonesia

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  • how to make friends in Indonesia

    Hello people ..
    Im from europe and go in hollidays in Bali and Gili about a month ago ...
    i fall in love for Bali, Indonesia and made few friends who i still chatting with ..
    I chat with a man and few girls ... one of the girls asked me for a perfum from where i come from
    to bring it when i come back in few months ... i said yes ok, so i asked to my other friend (in another city there)
    if she want something from me too perfum, makeup or clothes or other ... we talked a bit then she told me her pay
    was not good then we talked .. and finaly she told me she as no money for food at this time ...
    of course i said i will help her and stuff im not that rich but if i can help with amounts i can afford i will !
    But a question stay in my head, i don't think it is but i want you guys confirm it : Do these girls are friend with me because im a
    tourist and i have more money ?
    Maybe is rude to ask that kind of question but im totaly honest in these relationship i hope is the same for them too ...
    I want to be good with people who need but i don't like to be taking as a dumb also.
    I really want to make real friendship there. Without conditions or interest.. is it possible and how ?

    Sorry for my bad spell not fluent in english.

  • #2
    Originally posted by MyNameIsPants View Post
    Hello people ..
    Im from europe and go in hollidays in Bali and Gili about a month ago ...
    i fall in love for Bali, Indonesia and made few friends who i still chatting with ..
    I chat with a man and few girls ... one of the girls asked me for a perfum from where i come from
    to bring it when i come back in few months ... i said yes ok, so i asked to my other friend (in another city there)
    if she want something from me too perfum, makeup or clothes or other ... we talked a bit then she told me her pay
    was not good then we talked .. and finaly she told me she as no money for food at this time ...
    of course i said i will help her and stuff im not that rich but if i can help with amounts i can afford i will !
    But a question stay in my head, i don't think it is but i want you guys confirm it : Do these girls are friend with me because im a
    tourist and i have more money ?
    Maybe is rude to ask that kind of question but im totaly honest in these relationship i hope is the same for them too ...
    I want to be good with people who need but i don't like to be taking as a dumb also.
    I really want to make real friendship there. Without conditions or interest.. is it possible and how ?

    Sorry for my bad spell not fluent in english.
    Hi Thr,

    Welcome to Indonesia,
    About the local, regarding your story, frankly they are not interested in friendship at all. About how to make good relationship with locals, thr are many ways which i cant describe it one by one. good luck.

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    • #3
      Be careful my friend , you will many people women and men , in tourist areas who see foreigners as walking atms , unfortunately in many developing countries it is the same , you will need to spend a longer time to understand the people and their motivations .

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      • #4
        How you can know they don't want friendship but something from me ?
        How i can make the diference ?

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        • #5
          Originally posted by MyNameIsPants View Post
          How you can know they don't want friendship but something from me ?
          How i can make the diference ?
          its very easy, e.i : if i want to buy something from EU, I'll just give you the money in advance, not just ask you to buy first, or telling you have miserable my self, remember the group of you call as a friends even has knowledge about nice perfume ( i guess its quite branded) but still complain about has no money to buy food, poor ppl doesnt think about luxury things while their primary needs isnt enough.

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          • #6
            Do these girls are friend with me because im a
            tourist and i have more money ?
            Lets put it this way. If a girl cant pay for her food but asks you for a bottle of perfume, something is not right in this story.
            When chicks start asking for presents, no matter how friendly they seem, I just walk away and save everyone some trouble.
            Lets say you don't care and you are well aware it's just a trap. Don't worry about it. Especially if you like the company. Look at it as a service and nothing more. Just don't swallow the hook and get all emotional

            For example, I met really nice people in Bali (locals) and the word friend was used all the time (very common in Southern and Eastern world and not where I am from). Same time, we all knew it's just business and were honest about it. One sold me drinks, others took care of surfboards, beach chairs, transportation, food and so on. I needed this, they had it and the price was right (and most importantly, I liked them). Regardless, we still had absolutely fantastic time chatting, eating together, surfing and hanging around the island or just chilling on the beach for weeks (they all worked at the same spot).
            Most importantly, nobody ever asked me money for nothing. I learned a bit about the local culture and local life. I even met their families so I think it was honestly good time for everybody and I am planning to see them again.... huh.. sorry for the emotional rant.

            Point is, take your time and stay frosty.

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            • #7
              Thanks guys for your answers !
              The girl who asked me perfums is not the same one who told me she don't have money for food ...
              The first one just found a nice job well payed (i mean for Indonesia lol) i just called her like usualy and in the conversation her sister ask for a french perfum ... so my friend
              ask for it too ... so i told them to send my the brand of perfume i will bring 2 perfums for them.
              The second one told me she has a bad pay but it's ok for her because she like her job (take care of the garden in a small hotel) she told me her earning are less than 2 millions
              monthly ... and she told me these last days she can't buy food and cigarets because her earning too small ... so i told her i will help as i can send money to her bank account
              and she told me i was amazing and all ... I was about to send her a bigger amount but i thinked and i will send her like 500000 roupia and after i will give her good way to make money online
              to make money by herself

              My mum who travel a lot told me : don't talk about money never. Friendship is not about money. I guess is a good advice.

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