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Is this cultural?

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  • #31
    Sorry to hear about the husband having such a materialistic wife and a not loving mother for the children.

    But these types of woman has increased in population and it happened to few of my friends too (but lucky for them, they break up with them straight away). I dont know whether it has become a culture but more local woman (Indonesian, Vietnamese, Thai, Myanmar) purposely seeking foreigners in order to have a better and easy life. Whether it is love or not, it doesnt matter as their mind set are looking for foreigner and they expect that foreigner is a bloody rich who can provides them with everything they need. Love can grow later on.

    But i am sure there are still a good local woman that truly kind and loving still looking for love out there.

    Back to your case, if i were him, I will have a serious talk with the wife about her over expectation and responsibility and whether she really love you and children or not. If she does love you and the children, what things that she is willing to sacrifice for you and the children? If after few talks and she still demand things without giving any responsibility, it is better to be separated as soon as possible for the sake of the children. I dont know how long she started behaving like that but you have waited long enough.

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    • #32
      Originally posted by carlanox View Post
      Back to your case, if i were him, I will have a serious talk with the wife about her over expectation and responsibility and whether she really love you and children or not. If she does love you and the children, what things that she is willing to sacrifice for you and the children? If after few talks and she still demand things without giving any responsibility, it is better to be separated as soon as possible for the sake of the children. I dont know how long she started behaving like that but you have waited long enough.
      That would be a total lose of time, just go with the divorce.
      La motivation vient en se motivant ~ Motivation come by self-motivation

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      • #33
        Cultural fact:

        Most of Indonesian school would close their gate the the second the class start. If you a late of 2 second you can't get in. her "fashionably late at school" being cultural is a grotesque lie for excuse her lazyness

        Whoever have a JOB in Indonesia is required to show up AT TIME. Eve if they have nothing else to do than wandering around.
        Thing will be different if you are a high graded police or army officer, but even that, you better not be late to a call from a superior.
        The "culturally not going at work" is the most stupid is I ever heard.
        She try to isolate him for a better control over him.

        Told him to dump her ASAP for his own sake and the kid.
        La motivation vient en se motivant ~ Motivation come by self-motivation

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        • #34
          I am not sure about 'most schools', but I have definitely seen this happen.

          To the OP, do you have any contacts with Indonesian community over there? Could you find any lady who does not come from a privileged background to give a statement about what is and isn't normally accepted in Indonesia? FYI, most men in Indo don't do any housework. I had a neighbor who did some on the sly, so as not to be ridiculed by others in the village.
          Take my advice, I don't need it.

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          • #35
            No its not cultural - she is just a fucking bitch I would divorce her and send her ungrateful arse back to her shithole kampung in Kalimantan.

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            • #36
              I'm an Indonesian woman and I've heard cases like this a lot about Indonesian women that make foreigners think that this is cultural. But no, not all of us are like that but I admit that some Indonesian women are. You can't generalized everything though. From what I have read from your case, I think your sister in law has bad personality and nothing can fix her behavior. So, the best thing your brother can do is to divorce her and make sure he will get the children's custody. It's also for your brother's children sake.

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              • #37
                Is not cultural

                Moderation note:

                This post has been deleted due to violation of Posting Guidelines.

                Domestic violence is against the law, both in Indonesia and in Australia, and pretty much anywhere else civilized.

                Question(s) about this decision can be directed towards the moderating team by clicking on the "Report Post" button at the bottom left of this post.
                Last edited by dafluff; 12-04-16, 15:13.

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                • #38
                  wow, i am speechless

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                  • #39
                    You appear to be advocating physical abuse. That's never the answer.
                    Last edited by dafluff; 12-04-16, 15:10.

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                    • #40
                      I know there are Indonesian men who feel they have to hit their wives or GF to show their dominance. I generally find that these are insecure men. A good man wouldn't need to stoop to that level.

                      You won't find much, if any, support for wife beating here.
                      Sasa Bule is having a bayi!

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                      • #41
                        I think there is no cultural issues here but psychological issues.
                        Another published MD chiming in. Snooze…

                        Your brother must document or record everything as she likes to threat him to bring all her children with her. if she does, your brother can report her for a kidnapping.
                        That's usually what happens when someone gets kidnapped.

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                        • #42
                          Originally posted by ScooterIndo View Post
                          No its not cultural - she is just a fucking bitch I would divorce her and send her ungrateful arse back to her shithole kampung in Kalimantan.
                          Spot on and more or less exactly what I was going to write.

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                          • #43
                            That isnt a normal woman, i suggest file a divorce paper and next time tell your bro to find a decent woman.

                            It's not cultural, if it happened in my family all of us would have a big meeting, and the wife probably would be divorced, like what happened to my uncle, his ex wife was half crazy than your sister in law. Finally the rest decided my uncle should divorced her. So he divorced her. Too bad the daughter is with her crazy mom..

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