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  • Problem Indonesian - Dutch marriage

    Hello,

    I'm an Indonesian woman and I was married a Dutch man about 4 years ago. Our married was registered in Holland but was not registered in Indonesia. After awhile there was a problem between us and I finally decided that I can not live with him anymore. Actually it was one sided decision, as he said that he didn't want to separate. I asked him to file the divorce because our marriage were registered in Holland and I have never change my citizenship to Dutch.

    He said that he doesn't want to divorce and still love me,but since I came back to Indonesia he never show any attitude which proof that he really want to be with me. He never came to Indonesia to try to find me or talk with my family, even though he knows my address. Until now it has been about a year that he never contact me at all. So I guess maybe it was because he doesn't want to pay the divorce lawyer which actually I don't mind to share any related cost existed to finalized the divorce process because I really want to clear it once and for all coz I want to go on with my life. We were starting it with good intention and I want to end it in good way also. But he never said anything.

    What I would like to know is since I'm still legally married to him ( in Holland ) until now, will there be any possibility if maybe in the future he has a criminal problem,will it be connected to me? Or can I just forget him forever and don't have to worry at all anymore?

    I really hope I will get some information.

    Thanks in advance.

  • #2
    Depends if you have any pre nuptial agreements? If not, as long as you're married any financial debt is shared responsibility I believe, so it could be a potential problem in the future. If your "husband" has any debt for example and does not have enough fund they might try to get the money from you. I'm quite sure they won't track you down in Indonesia but things could get unpleasant if you visit Holland again in such a case.
    Better to finalize everything and move forward.

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    • #3
      I think you should contact the Dutch embassy in Jakarta and / or the KBRI in Den Haag. They should be able to advise on how to file for divorce from your side.

      Just leaving it is not a good idea. Indonesia probably has no knowledge about that marriage, so you could get away with it if you get married again here, but there are still chances it comes up somewhere and then you are screwed...

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      • #4
        There will be no eviction of an Indonesian national to The Netherlands of course (no extradition treaty); especially since here you are not even registered as being married. So you're safe from a penal and prosecution perspective. As said before; when you enter the Schengen area it could be a whole different ball game.

        For a divorce in NL you need to file an unilateral petition for divorce (eenzijdig verzoek tot echtscheiding), often with proposal on financial issues, alimony etc. This is done through a lawyer. Within 2 weeks your husband will receive a copy via a bailiff so you don't have to track him down. Your husband can agree to the divorce or disagree & rebut (in verweer gaan). Then his lawyer has 6 weeks to file the rebuttal at the court. If he lives abroad or they can't find him, the rebuttal period is 3 months. If it is an 'easy' case (mutual agreement, no issues with kids and real estate, etc.) often there will be no hearing necessary.

        Just get a lawyer in The Netherlands, it is a pretty straight forward process.
        Last edited by jstar; 06-03-13, 15:48. Reason: Thanks to Waarmie I could make the English translation
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        • #5
          If you are the one wanting the divorce then, as Jstar explained, its up to you to file the petition -- in Holland. In my opinion, its not something you should simply blow off.

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