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When Christian and Muslim fall in love?

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  • When Christian and Muslim fall in love?

    What is the likelihood of this becoming a happy relationship/marriage? It seems Muslim women don't want to convert to Christianity, so the western man converts to Muslim?

    Can anyone give their experiences, opinions on this issue. Success stories? Horror stories??

  • #2
    In some cases, it's not that Muslim women do not want to convert, but rather apostasy or renouncing Islam is seen as a great sin, punishable in some places by death. Socially also, it might be near impossible to renounce Islam. Nevertheless, they insist that there is no coercion in religion ("tidak ada unsur paksa dalam agama") when, in reality and in practice, there is indeed a significant amount of coercion and pressure...

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Mauricio View Post
      In some cases, it's not that Muslim women do not want to convert, but rather apostasy or renouncing Islam is seen as a great sin, punishable in some places by death. Socially also, it might be near impossible to renounce Islam. Nevertheless, they insist that there is no coercion in religion ("tidak ada unsur paksa dalam agama") when, in reality and in practice, there is indeed a significant amount of coercion and pressure...
      I have to stop agreeing with you mite, people will start to gossip ;}
      Anyway, my brother inlaw converted from Islam to marry my Christian Sister inlaw, his family supported him and no problems were encounterred from anywhere.
      Against that one of the young women from the same Kampung also converted to Christianity and all hell broke loose!
      Today, she still lives with her family and now recieves their 'blessing' tho' it must have taken great courage and commitment on her behalf to withstand the pressure she came under.
      IknowthatyoubelieveyouunderstandwhatyouthinkIsaid, butI'mnotsureyourealisethatwhatyouheardisnotwhatI meant.

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      • #4
        [quote=mgclp5;21825]What is the likelihood of this becoming a happy relationship/marriage?

        I believe that it comes down to the strength and conviction of each of the couples belief in their faith and of course more importantly their commitent and love for one another.
        Thankfully most Indonesians of the Islamic Faith are moderate in the practice of their faith, otherwise marrying a Christian would be out of the question.
        Some couples I knew in Yogya had no problems faith wise, the intercultural issues were far more relevant to achieving a harmonious relationship.
        IknowthatyoubelieveyouunderstandwhatyouthinkIsaid, butI'mnotsureyourealisethatwhatyouheardisnotwhatI meant.

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        • #5
          I have a friend who converted from Islam to Christianity to marry her husband. Her family disowned her...

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          • #6
            Sad, ain't it?

            The German philosopher Wittgenstein once said "If you want to know whether a man is religious, don't ask him, observe him".

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            • #7
              It is prescribed in the Quran that a muslim woman can not marry with the unbeliever that is the reason why. A good muslim woman will follow what God said not only because she obeys her God (Allah) but also for her own good. I have been married to my American husband for almost 25 years and he converted to muslim before we got married and we have been blessed and happy. Of course we have issues and such like other couple or familly in marriage but Alhamdulillah. You must learn and know about islam and confident (absolute/sure) that Islam is the way of life before you convert and that is the only way and the secret of a happy marriage and to obey what God said. Of course there are level of faith of each person even in muslim. When one disregard and won't follow what it has been prescribed (things to do and not to do) from God, there will be things that are missing and feeling not 100% right in one life (even if you have lots of money) and only through your faith and believe you will find the one happiness that you are searching for. At least this is from my own experiences. I learn, and live but trust God and try to follow what God said. The key is learn and know your religion, compare, to be absolute sure of what you choose without a single or dust of doubt and follow.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by inmedan View Post
                I have a friend who converted from Islam to Christianity to marry her husband. Her family disowned her...
                Actually in Islam parent can not diowned her children in whatever cases. This kind of act (disowned a child) does not come from the teaching of Islam. Lack of knowledge sometimes makes people do things which hurting people they love.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by sweetea View Post
                  It is prescribed in the Quran that a muslim woman can not marry with the unbeliever that is the reason why. A good muslim woman will follow what God said not only because she obeys her God (Allah) but also for her own good.

                  You mean proscribed, rather than prescribed. First of all, Christians/Catholics and Jews per the Quran are not unbelievers. Second of all, have you ever asked yourself why this prohibition exists and whether it is reasonable and displays a humane attitude toward other peoples? It's very easy to be tolerant of those like you, or those who think like youl. The real test is to be tolerant with those who are unlike you. A mechanical and rote reading and practice of your religion may make you self-satisfied, but that does not necessarily mean that you are being a good human being. Lest you be confused, religion and ritual is not the same as goodness and fairness. I won't go into the issue of whether the laws and moral codes of semi-nomadic, warring, superstitious, unscientific, pre-industrial Semitic peoples of 14 centuries ago are applicable to the world of the 21st century.
                  Last edited by Mauricio; 03-04-09, 11:12.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Mauricio View Post
                    You mean proscribed, rather than prescribed. First of all, Christians/Catholics and Jews per the Quran are not unbelievers. Second of all, have you ever asked yourself why this prohibition exists and whether it is reasonable and displays a humane attitude toward other peoples? It's very easy to be tolerant of those like you, or those who think like youl. The real test is to be tolerant with those who are unlike you. A mechanical and rote reading and practice of your religion may make you self-satisfied, but that does not necessarily mean that you are being a good human being. Lest you be confused, religion and ritual is not the same as goodness and fairness. I won't go into the issue of whether the laws and moral codes of semi-nomadic, warring, superstitious, unscientific, pre-industrial Semitic peoples of 14 centuries ago are applicable to the world of the 21st century.
                    Please do, I would find such a discourse interesting reading.
                    IknowthatyoubelieveyouunderstandwhatyouthinkIsaid, butI'mnotsureyourealisethatwhatyouheardisnotwhatI meant.

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                    • #11
                      Originally Posted by inmedan
                      I have a friend who converted from Islam to Christianity to marry her husband. Her family disowned her...
                      Actually in Islam parent can not diowned her children in whatever cases. This kind of act (disowned a child) does not come from the teaching of Islam.
                      How about I give you their address so you can go and tell them?

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                      • #12
                        True that it is hard for the women here to convert to another religion,but my mother did that without the consent of her parents when she married my father.Her family accepted her decision at the end though,they didn't disown her or anything bad like that..it just takes time really..i guess it kinda depends on the family too.On top of that she is happy to have made this choice

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                        • #13
                          I was Christian but converted to Islam before marriage.
                          I was quite happy at doing so as I had spent a few very long holidays in Malaysia and came to realise all the crap about Muslims in the western press was, well......., crap.
                          I'm not going to claim to be a good Muslim but I do keep to the general lifestyle and it suits me. Don't care about the not boozing but miss good sausages and black pudding.
                          We have been happily married for a couple of years and have a wonderful baby daughter.
                          For me it has been a good move and things have worked out well. I hope my wife is of the same opinion.

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                          • #14
                            salam Fred do u know any cool british ppl in banda aceh... actually they'remy favourite folks but here i don't know any expats and have almost no friends exept my husband

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by summerwind View Post
                              salam Fred do u know any cool british ppl in banda aceh... actually they'remy favourite folks but here i don't know any expats and have almost no friends exept my husband
                              Sadly I can't help you on that. I know of very few Brits around here. The nearest I know of is a welsh bloke about 3 hours away from me and a forum member who is about the same.
                              The latter must be a nice bloke, he's from Allah's own country of Yorkshire.

                              Reminds me I must suggest the forum to the welsh bloke. I know he would find it a handy place to be.

                              Ring ring time.

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