View Full Version : Ladies Beware - "Hidden" gigolos
Okay, first of all, I gotta say that this is some kind of an outlet for me to vent. I just want all the ladies to learn from my mistake.
When a dude says his salary is late and he needs money, think, don't just give money to him. Cause if you start doing that, it will become your obligation, until he took 3 million from you within a week and LEFT!
Lesson 1: Never ever lend any money to a dude, seriously, he's a dude, he should be able to save more money than us girls, I mean unless he's a metrosexual, gay or a tranny, he doesn't need Brazilian wax or get his nails done every 2 weeks, I'm not being sexist, but it's the truth, girls have to spend more money to look 'normal' lol.
Lesson 2: Again, NEVER ever lend any money to a dude you're casually dating!
Lesson 3: It doesn't matter how he looks, or what background he has, or his race, btw, the jerk is bule, I'm mixed but I'm still Asian. SOOOO... Do NOT give in and trust a guy just like that, even when he's hot. Everything is so instant these days, that we forgot how to be romantic, how to enjoy the moment, getting to know each other better, let him lead, let him call and say how much he misses you etc etc.
We always have time for this girls, I know we're sick of games, but we should always have time for this, by the end of the day we need a regular guy who understands our lil weird ways and still loves us.
Lesson 4: If it happened, let it go. You will get more money than what he owes you, and what goes around comes around 3x worse. You could sleep well at night while he'd be haunted by his own guilt.
Lesson 5: If it happened, at least you enjoyed it. Was it worth the money, maybe not, but hey you got laid, then off to a new better guy who is a non-douchebag and still be sexual (I'm still waiting for this type of guy by the way, it's easier said than done, especially in Jakarta).
Lesson 6: I know we are independent and we want to keep it that way, but we have to realize that relationship is NOT about ourselves, and that we should meet halfway most of the time, and let the dude do all the work couple of times. It's okay, you won't lose him, he's a hunter, he knows his way around.
Lesson 7: So you have good intentions and you were being sincere, and you expect the person you're connecting with to have integrity and conscience and heart to appreciate you, no, expect nothing instead.
Lesson 8: Last but not least, NO, it's NOT your fault. He will try to bring you down and blame you, and then justifies his actions/inaction and make you feel like you're a piece of dirt. Don't let this bother you, he's a friggin' loser.
...Yeah.
Oh dear, If a guy friend of mine will ask me to lend him some money, I will certainly do, with regards to his reason but If the guy I am just casually dating-what??? Message is clear dear, don't give him that money and dont see him ever again!
No guy, in the right state of mind, will borrow a girl a money in a casual dating stage. He is suppose to impress you!
"Wanna go out for a dinner?" Uhh... btw, can I borrow 1 mil rups? I really need it.-Looser!
Oh dear, If a guy friend of mine will ask me to lend him some money, I will certainly do, with regards to his reason but If the guy I am just casually dating-what??? Message is clear dear, don't give him that money and dont see him ever again!
No guy, in the right state of mind, will borrow a girl a money in a casual dating stage. He is suppose to impress you!
"Wanna go out for a dinner?" Uhh... btw, can I borrow 1 mil rups? I really need it.-Looser!
I know this, but I wanted to believe the guy has integrity not to do such things.
Feeling better? Good.
WAY better lol.
Hm my ex bf lent some money from me around 5 or 6 mils idr. I gave it to him (yes, i was so blinded with love).
And at the end we broke up (6years ago) he only give me back 1/2 or 3/4 total from the money he had lent. lol
"Lesson 5: If it happened, at least you enjoyed it. Was it worth the money, maybe not, but hey you got laid,"
Now there is a great attitude. Positive reps for you.
"then off to a new better guy who is a non-douchebag and still be sexual (I'm still waiting for this type of guy by the way, it's easier said than done, especially in Jakarta)."
Not much criteria here. I think I can fill it. Im a non-douchbag and can "still " be sexual. Not sure what the "still" is for but so far no need for viagra. Its not saying much about guys in Jakarta if this is hard to find although I know some douchbags who I assume are still sexual but dont know any non-douchbags that aren't.
"Lesson 7: So you have good intentions and you were being sincere, and you expect the person you're connecting with to have integrity and conscience and heart to appreciate you, no, expect nothing instead."
Great advice. Where there is no expectation there can be no dissapointment.
Hm my ex bf lent some money from me around 5 or 6 mils idr. I gave it to him (yes, i was so blinded with love).
And at the end we broke up (6years ago) he only give me back 1/2 or 3/4 total from the money he had lent. lol
Another lesson learned. Yep yep.
Now there is a great attitude. Positive reps for you.
Thank you :-D you gotta take the good sides in everything, right? lol
Not much criteria here. I think I can fill it. Im a non-douchbag and can "still " be sexual. Not sure what the "still" is for but so far no need for viagra. Its not saying much about guys in Jakarta if this is hard to find although I know some douchbags who I assume are still sexual but dont know any non-douchbags that aren't.
lmao! True, but what I'm trying to say is, it's hard to find a good guy who listens to you, and be with you, be there FOR you and then you'd want to sleep with him. I dunno if I make sense.
Great advice. Where there is no expectation there can be no dissapointment.
It will be painless. lol.
gottalovepuppies
02-05-10, 18:49
Take the Rp3m as 'buang sial' money.
Besides, if it takes only Rp3m for someone to reveal their true colours, consider yourself lucky! It's better to have taken place now than later on when you had been involved with him for a considerable amount of time.
Sorry to hear it didnt work out for you, sounds like you've taken in your stride, so good on you!
Take the Rp3m as 'buang sial' money.
Besides, if it takes only Rp3m for someone to reveal their true colours, consider yourself lucky! It's better to have taken place now than later on when you had been involved with him for a considerable amount of time.
I know. After what happened I just let it all go and thank the jerk for the experience.
Sorry to hear it didnt work out for you, sounds like you've taken in your stride, so good on you!
Thanks KW.
gottalovepuppies
02-05-10, 19:01
I know. After what happened I just let it all go and thank the jerk for the experience.
You're handling it really well it would seem. Good on you. :)
"lmao! True, but what I'm trying to say is, it's hard to find a good guy who who listens to you, and be with you, and then you'd want to sleep with him. I dunno if I make sense."
Ya listening gets in the way of the sleeping. Its a guy thing. I find it better to pretend Im listening cuz I know about the part with ladies then wanting the sleeping if she thinks I really am listening. The "be with you part" is pretty easy for me cause I tend to be there when the sleeping part happens. I think we may be onto something here.
You're handling it really well it would seem. Good on you. :)
Thank you, it wasn't easy, it only happened over a month ago. It's not about the money, I mean sure, it's a lot for some people, but who wants to be taken advantage of and learned that you've been lied to.
Ya listening gets in the way of the sleeping. Its a guy thing. I find it better to pretend Im listening cuz I know about the part with ladies then wanting the sleeping if she thinks I really am listening. The "be with you part" is pretty easy for me cause I tend to be there when the sleeping part happens. I think we may be onto something here.
LOL, Pimpin, is it me or are you actually hitting on me?
You like to be hit? No Im not into that.
You like to be hit? No Im not into that.
Well, too bad. jk.
(read: hitting not "hitting")
waarmstrong
02-05-10, 21:15
... Im a non-douchbag and can "still " be sexual...
The jury is still out on both counts.
Yeah, I'd consider it a "cheap" lesson and move on, Rp. 3m early in the relationship is way cheaper than what could've been down the line. I guess I'm old-fashioned, I don't let my gf pay for anything if I can help it. The only times I let her pay is if we go somewhere that have discounts with a certain cards and I don't have the cards, but then next time we go out, I'd pay again. Plus I don't like to borrow money from anyone if I can help it, not even my parents.
waarmstrong
02-05-10, 22:07
I don't let my gf pay for anything if I can help it. The only times I let her pay is if we go somewhere that have discounts with a certain cards and I don't have the cards, but then next time we go out, I'd pay again.
It doesn't change when you get married either. I'm still paying.
It doesn't change when you get married either. I'm still paying.
When I get married I'll be paying since I'll be getting the bills for those cards at the end of the billing cycles, lol!
Take the Rp3m as 'buang sial' money.
Besides, if it takes only Rp3m for someone to reveal their true colours, consider yourself lucky! It's better to have taken place now than later on when you had been involved with him for a considerable amount of time.
Yeah, it's much cheaper to find out now that he's a loser rather than later when you already have 3 kids in tow.
Take the Rp3m as 'buang sial' money.
Besides, if it takes only Rp3m for someone to reveal their true colours, consider yourself lucky! It's better to have taken place now than later on when you had been involved with him for a considerable amount of time.
very true :)
When I get married I'll be paying since I'll be getting the bills for those cards at the end of the billing cycles, lol!
Lucky.
Yeah, it's much cheaper to find out now that he's a loser rather than later when you already have 3 kids in tow.
I guess so. But it's okay, if it wasn't for him I wouldn't have met the guy I'm seeing now, which is the total opposite of him. It's funny how when you actually forgive and let go, good things happen, and in my case, it happened 5 days after I broke up with the jerk. It usually takes me months or years to forget someone and move on. But yeah, I guess these things happen where we least expect it.
I guess so. But it's okay, if it wasn't for him I wouldn't have met the guy I'm seeing now, which is the total opposite of him. It's funny how when you actually forgive and let go, good things happen, and in my case, it happened 5 days after I broke up with the jerk. It usually takes me months or years to forget someone and move on. But yeah, I guess these things happen where we least expect it.
When you forgive and let go, you mentally flush out all the negative attitudes that go with a grudge. People tend to avoid having a relationship with a person who clearly carries emotional baggage.
When you forgive and let go, you mentally flush out all the negative attitudes that go with a grudge. People tend to avoid having a relationship with a person who clearly carries emotional baggage.
I just want to hug you right now, I hope it's not weird. You are such a wise and caring person. Yes, it's true.
Dear MsTantrum,
Please help me understand girls in the same way you wrote your message but from the man's viewpoint. I might agree with some points you have raised...
I met a girl in club and we only exchanged phone numbers... next day she phoned me up and asked me for date in Plaza Indonesia. Firstly we agreed to meet in restaurent but once I arrived there she asked me to go to Zara, she have already had some 5 pieces of clothes, she didn't greet me but asked to pay for them in front of many other people, my quick response was I simply pretended don't know her and left... Cheers
Dear MsTantrum,
Please help me understand girls in the same way you wrote your message but from the man's viewpoint. I might agree with some points you have raised...
I met a girl in club and we only exchanged phone numbers... next day she phoned me up and asked me for date in Plaza Indonesia. Firstly we agreed to meet in restaurent but once I arrived there she asked me to go to Zara, she have already had some 5 pieces of clothes, she didn't greet me but asked to pay for them in front of many other people, my quick response was I simply pretended don't know her and left... Cheers
That is friggin' hilarious.
Dear MsTantrum,
Please help me understand girls in the same way you wrote your message but from the man's viewpoint. I might agree with some points you have raised...
I met a girl in club and we only exchanged phone numbers... next day she phoned me up and asked me for date in Plaza Indonesia. Firstly we agreed to meet in restaurent but once I arrived there she asked me to go to Zara, she have already had some 5 pieces of clothes, she didn't greet me but asked to pay for them in front of many other people, my quick response was I simply pretended don't know her and left... Cheers
is this a story? or did this really happen ?
I just want to hug you right now, I hope it's not weird. You are such a wise and caring person. Yes, it's true.
Thanks so much for the compliment. :) I don't feel that I'm wise, merely logical. If I see two identical women who have been cheated on, one is bitter while the other is relaxed and let go, I don't need great wisdom to choose who to go out with.
No, a hug is not weird, unless (to quote Robin Williams in Good Will Hunting) you grab my ass. ;)
When you forgive and let go, you mentally flush out all the negative attitudes that go with a grudge. People tend to avoid having a relationship with a person who clearly carries emotional baggage.
Yes true! Glad to hear you are moving on quite well Ms. tantrum. You deserve much better than your ex. Lesson learned and dont let your emotion swept you off your feet.
Dating 101: In the first stage of dating, put on your guard. Men tends to show their nice side during this time and if they already get what they want, they are nowhere to be found.
We women usually let our emotion engulf us and oftentimes we make decisions based on emotion. Take note, our head in on the top of our body to control everything and that includes our heart. ( eventhough in reality, heart has nothing to do with falling in love heheheh)
waarmstrong
03-05-10, 09:39
Yeah, it's much cheaper to find out now that he's a loser rather than later when you already have 3 kids in tow.
Agreed. Three kids in tow = very slow learner.
waarmstrong
03-05-10, 09:44
If I see two identical women who have been cheated on, one is bitter while the other is relaxed and let go, I don't need great wisdom to choose who to go out with.
If you are just in the market for a shag, the bitter one is probably the better bet.
If you are just in the market for a shag, the bitter one is probably the better bet.
No. A woman with issues is never worth the hump.
Thanks so much for the compliment. :) I don't feel that I'm wise, merely logical. If I see two identical women who have been cheated on, one is bitter while the other is relaxed and let go, I don't need great wisdom to choose who to go out with.
No, a hug is not weird, unless (to quote Robin Williams in Good Will Hunting) you grab my ass. ;)
OMG, sorry, I thought you're a woman! LOL!
Yes true! Glad to hear you are moving on quite well Ms. tantrum. You deserve much better than your ex. Lesson learned and dont let your emotion swept you off your feet.
Dating 101: In the first stage of dating, put on your guard. Men tends to show their nice side during this time and if they already get what they want, they are nowhere to be found.
We women usually let our emotion engulf us and oftentimes we make decisions based on emotion. Take note, our head in on the top of our body to control everything and that includes our heart. ( eventhough in reality, heart has nothing to do with falling in love heheheh)
Thank you. The guy I'm seeing now is grumpy most of the time but I guess it's a guy thing. But he's a good guy, he doesn't sweet talk and we're taking it slow.
Another lesson learned. Yep yep.
@MsTantrum : yes and I feel relieved for losing him coz I find out lately that he got a problem with money, credit cards and loan. I remember, he told me that he had to lend some money from the bank for his wedding lol lol
waarmstrong
03-05-10, 16:55
No. A woman with issues is never worth the hump.
A good many have no problem separating the hump from the issues, as was implicit in my earlier comment.
is this a story? or did this really happen ?
Hahhaha, yes it happened and repeated again this week.
My friend colleague arrived on date with 2 ladies, we decided to move to club but she said she didn't have suitable shoes, so I decided to buy shoes for her as sign of friendship, but I ended buying 3 shoes and 3 bags (for more than 2M)... Wanted to leave them when they asked me, but was imcomfortable as she is a colleague of mine... Here you are... Girls or devils?... 2 of them were very shy to tell me thank you... And no sex... probably they are lesbians... Here you go...
Other lady has stolen my mobile phone (I didn't carry it, but kept it at home as second number), we met in Dragonfly, she said she was to be an actress (all indonesian bar-girls are actresses, models and managers and they all are having american (symbol of power), english (they love London), canadian (black guys from Cameron without ID) and french (they love gays according to Brazilians) boyfriends)...
Honestly met many local girls, poor and rich, but they consider you as mobile ATM...
My new rules:
1. No date, especially in the mall
2. Approach girls after 1am when they are drunk and ready to go
3. Go clubbing alone or male friends
4. Assume any girl in bar/club prostitute, lesbian or bitch until you are sure she is not...
5. Tell them all bullshits, they accept them.
Nyonya Couch
09-05-10, 15:26
Mate, you're not very bright are you! You knew from the 1st experience that you were being used and this time around you were offering her to buy a pair of shoes - which I think she can buy it herself - then ended up with 3 shoes and 3 bags!
waarmstrong
09-05-10, 15:29
After reviewing your rules, Alixuki, it would appear that the two young ladies in your vignette were good matches for you.
Wanted to leave them when they asked me, but was imcomfortable as she is a colleague of mine... Here you are... Girls or devils?... 2 of them were very shy to tell me thank you... And no sex... probably they are lesbians... Here you go...
Dude, be a MAN not a wuss! You could say, "I'm sorry but I'm only going to buy a pair of shoes and that's it!" or "Girls, are you going to pay that on your own?" there are bunch of stuff that you could say to them instead of being "imcomfortable", whatever that means, you should be comfortable enough to say what you need to say, it's your friggin' money!
Other lady has stolen my mobile phone (I didn't carry it, but kept it at home as second number), we met in Dragonfly, she said she was to be an actress
So? What if she wants to be an actress? Some people want to be Doctors, some people want to be actors, some people like to dance, some people like to pick their nose, who cares?? That's their own life goals and who are you to judge?
(all indonesian bar-girls are actresses, models and managers and they all are having american (symbol of power), english (they love London), canadian (black guys from Cameron without ID) and french (they love gays according to Brazilians) boyfriends)...
Honestly met many local girls, poor and rich, but they consider you as mobile ATM...
ALL?? GENERALIZATION is FALSE, maybe you should look in the mirror and start being a MAN and say NO! No I would not let this girl to have other bfs than me, No I would not let this girl buy bags and shoes and spend 2 million, No I would not let these girls treat me like I'm their mobile ATM! - Instead of whining on how they did that to you and cry to Momma, oh boohoo! DO IT! BE A MAN! You let this happened to you, dude, it's not entirely their fault. If someone wants to fill my cup with water, and I didn't say STOP, he will fill that cup until it's spilled. Get me?
My new rules:
1. No date, especially in the mall
2. Approach girls after 1am when they are drunk and ready to go
3. Go clubbing alone or male friends
4. Assume any girl in bar/club prostitute, lesbian or bitch until you are sure she is not...
5. Tell them all bullshits, they accept them.
BE A MAN! Stop being a wuss. That's the only rule you need for now.
Now I want you to reach down between your legs and if you feel something, those are called balls, use them.
gottalovepuppies
09-05-10, 19:44
Hahhaha, yes it happened and repeated again this week.
My friend colleague arrived on date with 2 ladies, we decided to move to club but she said she didn't have suitable shoes, so I decided to buy shoes for her as sign of friendship, but I ended buying 3 shoes and 3 bags (for more than 2M)... Wanted to leave them when they asked me, but was imcomfortable as she is a colleague of mine... Here you are... Girls or devils?... 2 of them were very shy to tell me thank you... And no sex... probably they are lesbians... Here you go...
I hate reading about my fellow Indonesian girls acting like complete douchebags and taking advantage of people being nice to them. But at the same time, you created the situation yourself. You offered to buy her shoes. That's a complete faux pas on your part. Unfortunately some people, male or female, Indonesian or not- WILL take advantage if/when given the chance.
Why is there a reference to 'no sex'? Does that mean it's okay if you had gotten sex out of the three pairs of shoes and three bags? Why are they possibly lesbians for not giving you sex? I don't see the relevance. Did you actually buy them things for a possibility to get sex instead of out of generosity?
Other lady has stolen my mobile phone (I didn't carry it, but kept it at home as second number), we met in Dragonfly, she said she was to be an actress (all indonesian bar-girls are actresses, models and managers and they all are having american (symbol of power), english (they love London), canadian (black guys from Cameron without ID) and french (they love gays according to Brazilians) boyfriends)...
Honestly met many local girls, poor and rich, but they consider you as mobile ATM...
My new rules:
1. No date, especially in the mall
2. Approach girls after 1am when they are drunk and ready to go
3. Go clubbing alone or male friends
4. Assume any girl in bar/club prostitute, lesbian or bitch until you are sure she is not...
5. Tell them all bullshits, they accept them.
There is only one rule to stop yourself from being mugged off, and that is called being sensible.
Aussiesteve
09-05-10, 19:53
Wow you must date some quality blokes!! I wouldn't hesitate lending money to a friend. But would never lend to someone I've just met. I guess this is a simple and slightly painful life lesson.
waarmstrong
09-05-10, 20:13
I don't think he thought he was buying shoes or lending money, but rather assumed he was purchasing a roll in the hay. For a guy who's rules include picking up girls too drunk to say "no" and lying to them to boot, he deserves neither love nor money.
They'd have to be lesbians because if they weren't they certainly would have slept with such a catch.
Wow you must date some quality blokes!! I wouldn't hesitate lending money to a friend. But would never lend to someone I've just met. I guess this is a simple and slightly painful life lesson.
Yeah. I'm trying to change the dating jerks pattern, I need to find a good man lol.
They'd have to be lesbians because if they weren't they certainly would have slept with such a catch.
Are u being sarcastic? lol
waarmstrong
09-05-10, 21:05
What's a Wuss?
What's a Wuss?
Wimp, weakling, unmanly.
Alixukl, seems to me you're basically just trying to get horizontal. In that case you got nobody to blame but yourself for being taken advantage of. If you want to play the bonking game in this town, you gotta be smart and learn the rules. They're out to get your money, you're out to get their goodies. Let the best man/woman wins.
Now, if you're looking for a lifelong companion, it's a different story.
Alixukl, seems to me you're basically just trying to get horizontal. In that case you got nobody to blame but yourself for being taken advantage of. If you want to play the bonking game in this town, you gotta be smart and learn the rules. They're out to get your money, you're out to get their goodies. Let the best man/woman wins.
Now, if you're looking for a lifelong companion, it's a different story.
Yes, exactly.
yes sarcastic
Hilarious.
Oh, and is it only me, why can't I post in this thread without Admin's approval? Weird.
Hilarious.
Worth a smile maybe.
nasipecelsby
12-05-10, 11:28
Hey Pimpin... How long have you been in Jakarta?
Apparently not long enough.
exiledgooner
12-05-10, 12:04
5. Tell them all bullshits, they accept them.
yep, that works...
but you would have been seen as a mug buying shoes for some woman you never met...rolls eyes
I've been here too long. I'm movin' out soon.
stt_cibubur
15-05-10, 15:42
Reading this thread is make me laugh:dance:hahaha, I never get offered pair of shoe ( did I missed something??)..not even a glass of drink..:biggrin:...I know why I haven't seen them..cos it never had chance to get near me..:clap2:... but I do see them everywhere, you can easily spot them( they go to club and 1 glass lastest all night and keep wondering around searching for wealthty women.
I never lend any money to anybody except to family, if anybody specially guy come to me and ask to borrow some money, i'd would say" Get loan from bank!". When a guy or a girl tell you that his/her salary is small and need to borrow some money he/she probably don't even have a job!!
Learn from lesson..never get fooled by cupid or Angel face!!
Reading this thread is make me laugh:dance:hahaha, I never get offered pair of shoe ( did I missed something??)..not even a glass of drink..:biggrin:...I know why I haven't seen them..cos it never had chance to get near me..:clap2:... but I do see them everywhere, you can easily spot them( they go to club and 1 glass lastest all night and keep wondering around searching for wealthty women.
I never lend any money to anybody except to family, if anybody specially guy come to me and ask to borrow some money, i'd would say" Get loan from bank!". When a guy or a girl tell you that his/her salary is small and need to borrow some money he/she probably don't even have a job!!
Learn from lesson..never get fooled by cupid or Angel face!!
Good one stt_! CHEERS!
vin.vierge
18-05-10, 16:32
4. Assume any girl in bar/club prostitute, lesbian or bitch until you are sure she is not...
tsk..tsk..tsk.. This is why I keep off from clubbing around Jakarta :bored:
stt_cibubur
18-05-10, 20:38
tsk..tsk..tsk.. This is why i keep off from clubbing around jakarta :bored:
by doing clubbing, we learned how to handle and deal with all 370H SSV and jerk
4. Assume any girl in bar/club prostitute, lesbian or bitch until you are sure she is not...
100% vice versa..Assume that all guy in bar/club looking for bonk, laid, cheap tart, T1Ts, free sex ....even thou they are married until you are sure he is not...
waarmstrong
18-05-10, 22:48
There used to be a guy who didn't expect to get laid when entering a bar, but he died last year.
MsTantrum and other ladies, don't fall down in bad dudes that cheat your money, but find out the nice guys that can help you to making money for support your more atractive lifestyle in Jakarta and every nice places you luv.
There used to be a guy who didn't expect to get laid when entering a bar, but he died last year.
Sad... maybe he is the last of that kind and now, he is extinct too... ;)
waarmstrong
20-05-10, 11:00
Any single guy entering a bar the hope of only a little chit-chat is indeed an anomaly.
All guys entering a bar with the hope of a little more than chit chat ARE SINGLE!
waarmstrong
20-05-10, 17:43
Single? Maybe, but stories here would suggest, not always. Perhaps some of the faithful cruising for a second (temporary) wife?
Perhaps I should've used quotes around the SINGLE. <sigh>
waarmstrong
20-05-10, 21:19
I guess I'm a little slow this evening, Grats. Come to think of it, "dense" would be a more fitting adjective and not just this evening. Single, in deed.
Not at all.
You're obviously happily married
<and/or have no concept of single any more.>
How about 99% of single guys who walk into a bar are open for more than a little chitchat. 1% just got more than a little chitchat before they walked into the bar and couldn't give a toss (most of those guys are over 38 years old).
Okay, first of all, I gotta say that this is some kind of an outlet for me to vent. I just want all the ladies to learn from my mistake.
When a dude says his salary is late and he needs money, think, don't just give money to him. Cause if you start doing that, it will become your obligation, until he took 3 million from you within a week and LEFT!
Lesson 1: Never ever lend any money to a dude, seriously, he's a dude, he should be able to save more money than us girls, I mean unless he's a metrosexual, gay or a tranny, he doesn't need Brazilian wax or get his nails done every 2 weeks, I'm not being sexist, but it's the truth, girls have to spend more money to look 'normal' lol.
Lesson 2: Again, NEVER ever lend any money to a dude you're casually dating!
Lesson 3: It doesn't matter how he looks, or what background he has, or his race, btw, the jerk is bule, I'm mixed but I'm still Asian. SOOOO... Do NOT give in and trust a guy just like that, even when he's hot. Everything is so instant these days, that we forgot how to be romantic, how to enjoy the moment, getting to know each other better, let him lead, let him call and say how much he misses you etc etc.
We always have time for this girls, I know we're sick of games, but we should always have time for this, by the end of the day we need a regular guy who understands our lil weird ways and still loves us.
Lesson 4: If it happened, let it go. You will get more money than what he owes you, and what goes around comes around 3x worse. You could sleep well at night while he'd be haunted by his own guilt.
Lesson 5: If it happened, at least you enjoyed it. Was it worth the money, maybe not, but hey you got laid, then off to a new better guy who is a non-douchebag and still be sexual (I'm still waiting for this type of guy by the way, it's easier said than done, especially in Jakarta).
Lesson 6: I know we are independent and we want to keep it that way, but we have to realize that relationship is NOT about ourselves, and that we should meet halfway most of the time, and let the dude do all the work couple of times. It's okay, you won't lose him, he's a hunter, he knows his way around.
Lesson 7: So you have good intentions and you were being sincere, and you expect the person you're connecting with to have integrity and conscience and heart to appreciate you, no, expect nothing instead.
Lesson 8: Last but not least, NO, it's NOT your fault. He will try to bring you down and blame you, and then justifies his actions/inaction and make you feel like you're a piece of dirt. Don't let this bother you, he's a friggin' loser.
...Yeah.
I'm sorry but I believe the title should be "Ladies-beware of the possible bule Jerks out there"
The bottom-line is, you made a mental mistake, you caught yourself too late, was pissed, dumped the a-hole on time then found a better guy within the next 5 days and the sweetest thing is: you are happy. :)
Hahhaha, yes it happened and repeated again this week.
My friend colleague arrived on date with 2 ladies, we decided to move to club but she said she didn't have suitable shoes, so I decided to buy shoes for her as sign of friendship, but I ended buying 3 shoes and 3 bags (for more than 2M)... Wanted to leave them when they asked me, but was imcomfortable as she is a colleague of mine... Here you are... Girls or devils?... 2 of them were very shy to tell me thank you... And no sex... probably they are lesbians... Here you go...
What a JaIm move...*sigh* Guess how many of your female colleagues are going to pretend that they didn't bring their "fancy" clothes to the club next week and know that you just might be weak enough to buy it.
Okay, first of all, I gotta say that this is some kind of an outlet for me to vent. I just want all the ladies to learn from my mistake.
When a dude says his salary is late and he needs money, think, don't just give money to him. Cause if you start doing that, it will become your obligation, until he took 3 million from you within a week and LEFT!
Lesson 1: Never ever lend any money to a dude, seriously, he's a dude, he should be able to save more money than us girls, I mean unless he's a metrosexual, gay or a tranny, he doesn't need Brazilian wax or get his nails done every 2 weeks, I'm not being sexist, but it's the truth, girls have to spend more money to look 'normal' lol.
Lesson 2: Again, NEVER ever lend any money to a dude you're casually dating!
Lesson 3: It doesn't matter how he looks, or what background he has, or his race, btw, the jerk is bule, I'm mixed but I'm still Asian. SOOOO... Do NOT give in and trust a guy just like that, even when he's hot. Everything is so instant these days, that we forgot how to be romantic, how to enjoy the moment, getting to know each other better, let him lead, let him call and say how much he misses you etc etc.
We always have time for this girls, I know we're sick of games, but we should always have time for this, by the end of the day we need a regular guy who understands our lil weird ways and still loves us.
Lesson 4: If it happened, let it go. You will get more money than what he owes you, and what goes around comes around 3x worse. You could sleep well at night while he'd be haunted by his own guilt.
Lesson 5: If it happened, at least you enjoyed it. Was it worth the money, maybe not, but hey you got laid, then off to a new better guy who is a non-douchebag and still be sexual (I'm still waiting for this type of guy by the way, it's easier said than done, especially in Jakarta).
Lesson 6: I know we are independent and we want to keep it that way, but we have to realize that relationship is NOT about ourselves, and that we should meet halfway most of the time, and let the dude do all the work couple of times. It's okay, you won't lose him, he's a hunter, he knows his way around.
Lesson 7: So you have good intentions and you were being sincere, and you expect the person you're connecting with to have integrity and conscience and heart to appreciate you, no, expect nothing instead.
Lesson 8: Last but not least, NO, it's NOT your fault. He will try to bring you down and blame you, and then justifies his actions/inaction and make you feel like you're a piece of dirt. Don't let this bother you, he's a friggin' loser.
...Yeah.
Here's a thought. Maybe you scared him off with all your death threats. After reading your posts it sure seems like you may have given him a couple. haha
I will say this though. For every woman like you that got taken for a few bills, there's 1000 men(not me) that have been ripped off by a woman. So yaaayyyy....the guys finally got one.
Just kidding girl. Sorry you got taken. Just be glad it was only 3 million...I would have taken yah for 100 million at least for my services(if I really had services).hahhaha.
JWilliamson
14-06-10, 14:45
My 2 cents would be not to lend at all until 1 year of knowing each other. But if they are asking a small amount and you can afford it then lend or just give. if you lend and they do not pay you back then just see it as a gift and keep it to yourself that his or her credit is terminated. If you gave then enjoy it but if she or him asks again then thats tricky. JW
P.S. I never had an issue with a ex about lending not one ever asked me to lend and i was usually happy to pay for most of the dinners and dates. Guy friends i had more issues some friends and cousins did ask and most never repaid now if they ask me i ask for a collateral such as: their watch, playstation 3,TV sets, Bikes etc. and when i do hold a collateral they usually pay. JW
Thanks a lot for all responses,
Learnt & Accepted.
From my discussions with some women I found that Indonesian ladies have a such generalization:
1. Indonesian men are liars
2. Western men want only free sex
3. Middle Eastern men don't give enough money
I don't like to give any money. I specificaly like it when they insist on buying me dinner and paying for drinks. I of course graciously accept that. I wouldn't want to offend them. Where am I from?
I don't like to give any money. I specificaly like it when they insist on buying me dinner and paying for drinks. I of course graciously accept that. I wouldn't want to offend them. Where am I from?
I'm the same, sign of a true gentleman.
Hombre de Maiz
30-06-10, 14:46
...
From my discussions with some women I found that Indonesian ladies have a such generalization:
...
2. Western men want only free sex
...
That's a wicked, slanderous lie! Many Western men are perfectly willing to pay for it, either before or afterwards!
That's a wicked, slanderous lie! Many Western men are perfectly willing to pay for it, either before or afterwards!
Not so, they are paying for the lass (or laddie, depending which way your dongle dangles) to leave.
*paraphrased from Winston Churchill, I believe*
stt_cibubur
30-06-10, 15:32
Thanks a lot for all responses,
Learnt & Accepted.
From my discussions with some women I found that Indonesian ladies have a such generalization:
1. Indonesian men are liars
2. Western men want only free sex
3. Middle Eastern men don't give enough money
Who did you discussed it with? All above opinions doesn't seem coming from decent ladies, sound like coming from gold diggers/ Escort girls/ Prostitute... correct me if I am wrong.
to be fair I think naive university girls might fit in there also cibubur.
waarmstrong
30-06-10, 19:24
The ones working their way through school more likely, KW.
stt_cibubur
01-07-10, 20:12
You're right KW..I heard that many college teen are looking for side "easy" job...
I once stole 5 quid from a womans handbag the morning after,
I needed a taxi home and after all, i had been an exceedingly good shag :)
BB
think_tank
11-08-10, 03:13
Thanks a lot for all responses,
Learnt & Accepted.
From my discussions with some women I found that Indonesian ladies have a such generalization:
1. Indonesian men are liars
2. Western men want only free sex
3. Middle Eastern men don't give enough money
Hmm shows what women you're talking to. I won't say anymore.
lidah tajam
12-08-10, 03:56
Well, someone told me that if you want to lend money to whoever (bf, friends or family), lend them as much as you are prepared to lose it. That way you it will be no hard feelings.
it is all part of life experience .. life is about moments .. maybe at that point of time that is the best thing we could do.. and ofcourse repent.. hmmm
Hmm shows what women you're talking to. I won't say anymore.
I'ld have to agree with you. Generalization? He is definately moving in the wrong circles or he is making way too much money. Maybe both.
He is probably just going out to 'hit it' and not looking for anyone with a better attitude.
Who did you discussed it with? All above opinions doesn't seem coming from decent ladies, sound like coming from gold diggers/ Escort girls/ Prostitute... correct me if I am wrong.
No, you are correct and you can add karaoke girls. Many of these girls have unemployed BFs or husbands whom they support.
Of course this is certainly not something unique to Indonesia its common in other countries as well. ;)
Isn't this a ladies chat?
Uh . . . we're in touch with our feminine side?
No??
Bye!!
mayasaputri
17-11-10, 23:05
alright, it was told about guy we're dating. what about if you find out your husband used your money for god shake you dont know what's that for, and then cheating on you, and blaming you as the reason why he is cheating. .....
The same applies whether he is boyfriend, husband, whatever.... throw him to the dogs... go find a good one... why do some women want to hang onto worthless *****, anyway??
so...any women here who have experience with gigolo? hahaha, i think if any she will quite,
this is the reality, if she like and interest with gigolo i think its not ok,
This topic fits the description of MOKONDO...
Hahahahahaha Tjamail, you are so...... funny!!!!
You always make me laugh :) very nice of you.
eh btw what's the difference between mokondo and gigolo or a playboy?
Your welcome, Hartina.
The difference between mokondo and the others, hmmmm good question. Now you made me laugh. LOL
Hahahahahaha Tjamail, you are so...... funny!!!!
You always make me laugh :) very nice of you.
eh btw what's the difference between mokondo and gigolo or a playboy?
Mokondo is a male gold digger.
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