View Full Version : Moratorium on Friendships
Hombre de Maiz
12-01-10, 09:43
I am hereby announcing that Iīve implemented a moratorium on Forum "Friendship" requests. Donīt take it personally ir I reject or ignore "Friendship" requests. Itīs just that I find the concept a bit hollow and unnecessary, an absurd by-product of on-line forums. Peace.
I am hereby announcing that Iīve implemented a moratorium on Forum "Friendship" requests. Donīt take it personally ir I reject or ignore "Friendship" requests. Itīs just that I find the concept a bit hollow and unnecessary, an absurd by-product of on-line forums. Peace.
I took a similar line, tho' definitely not for the same reasons when I first joined the forum.
After some time I changed my position and accepted a request, thanks IndoMom,:smile2: and now, no one wants to be friends with me... :pout:
I am hereby announcing that Iīve implemented a moratorium on Forum "Friendship" requests. Donīt take it personally ir I reject or ignore "Friendship" requests. Itīs just that I find the concept a bit hollow and unnecessary, an absurd by-product of on-line forums. Peace.
Ugh, is that because of my friendship request? I've joined some other forums and in the end one or two forum members becoming nice friends, even in real life.
But of course to each his own.
Once again, sorry to add you.
Cheers,
J
Hombre de Maiz
12-01-10, 10:00
Do not confuse "Friendship" with friendship. Donīt confuse developing and nurturing a friendship with a Forum "Friendship" Request.
Back from the dead
12-01-10, 10:07
In my previous incarnation here the "friendship" yarbles was often misinterpreted as an invitation for h00kers to ply their trade ........... nowadays of course having 30 gazillion "friends" on Facebook is considered by a certain section of the WWW as a sign of personality and immense popularity .......... when all it actually means is these saddoes either have too much time on their hands or the boss hasn't blocked their internet access yet ..... I don't need to announce to the world how many friends I have ......... besides.. I have a life
Do not confuse "Friendship" with friendship. Donīt confuse developing and nurturing a friendship with a Forum "Friendship" Request.
In my previous incarnation here the "friendship" yarbles was often misinterpreted as an invitation for h00kers to ply their trade ........... nowadays of course having 30 gazillion "friends" on Facebook is considered by a certain section of the WWW as a sign of personality and immense popularity .......... when all it actually means is these saddoes either have too much time on their hands or the boss hasn't blocked their internet access yet ..... I don't need to announce to the world how many friends I have ......... besides.. I have a life
I never thought a friend request can cause me so much trouble. Ok, this is my last answers to both of you:
@ Hombre: Ok. I have removed you from my friend list as well, Ok? So can we get over this please? Friendship comes from the willingness of two parties to share friendship, and not because the persons meet in a bar, or in bed, or in forum. Time and place are irrelevant. It only starts with friendship gestures, perhaps a smile, or a nood, or a handshake. So we have a rather different conception of friendship anyhow. And friendship comes in different levels and intimacy. I wouldn't expect to meet a BFF in a forum, though I never exclude that possibility. That's my opinion. To you yours to me mine.
@ back. So why wasting your time in commenting to things unrelated to you? Aren't you wasting your life?
Back from the dead
12-01-10, 10:38
I never thought a friend request can cause me so much trouble. Ok, this is my last answers to both of you:
@ back. So why wasting your time in commenting to things unrelated to you? Aren't you wasting your life?
Because I CAN .............
I never thought a friend request can cause me so much trouble. Ok, this is my last answers to both of you:
@ Hombre: Ok. I have removed you from my friend list as well, Ok? So can we get over this please? Friendship comes from the willingness of two parties to share friendship, and not because the persons meet in a bar, or in bed, or in forum. Time and place are irrelevant. It only starts with friendship gestures, perhaps a smile, or a nood, or a handshake. So we have a rather different conception of friendship anyhow.
@ back. So why wasting your time in commenting to things unrelated to you? Aren't you wasting your life?
Well said, on both points... +1
Once again I screwed up with the reputation process, so JohnJohn2, I'm really sorry...:sorry::doh:
I'm starting to hate this new format, it's taking ages for my drug addled brain to get used to it.
waarmstrong
12-01-10, 11:33
The Friends thing, as has been suggested, is kind of superficial and pointless. Announcing ones view that it is superficial and pointless, is even more so. Commenting thereon, (I'm as guilty as the rest) even more so still.
How about reputation points? Do you think that they are necessary too? AFter all, the forum readers are not fools.
http://www.gigwise.com/news/46732/Grumpy-Ringo-Starr-Shuns-Fans-In-Bizarre-Video
Ringo Starr also rejected his fans.
Well unashamedly I'm going to accept all friend requests, even the ones that HDM shuns.
I do accept any "Frienship Request". It doesn't hurt and it doesn't make me proud either. I just take it as a way to say "Hi, I am there, How are you doing?" I don't see any bad in it.
Once again I screwed up with the reputation process, so JohnJohn2, I'm really sorry...:sorry::doh:
I'm starting to hate this new format, it's taking ages for my drug addled brain to get used to it.
Error corrected.
Hombre de Maiz
12-01-10, 11:58
I had no idea this thread would ellicit such response. My moratorium on Friendships is premised on the fact that:
i.) we need not be Friends in order to be friends.
ii.) initiating a friendship by sending a Friendship Request is lazy and contrived.
Sending a thoughtful PM is not lazy and contrived.
Your mileage may vary, of course.
We keep an empty carton of milk in the 'fridge for those who may want black coffee.
If a Friendship Request is lazy and contrived will you be shunning those friends that you have as a result of such requests, and how many have you shunned already? If there has only been the three friend requests, then shunning further requests may be like using a big stick to break eggs? If you do shun those nice people who were previously lazy and contrived, can I have them as my friends? and can you forward any future requests to me? Especially the good looking ones?
Too late, I have already put in my request for all good looking ones to be forwarded to me...:lol:
If a Friendship Request is lazy and contrived will you be shunning those friends that you have as a result of such requests, and how many have you shunned already? If there has only been the three friend requests, then shunning further requests may be like using a big stick to break eggs? If you do shun those nice people who were previously lazy and contrived, can I have them as my friends? and can you forward any future requests to me? Especially the good looking ones?
I know I shouldn't meddle again, since I hope this matter has been closed and I have apologized to persons offended and have given my opinion on the matter. And I am grateful for Om, Waamstrong, Olivier, and Eurodude for being so nice.
The point of sending friend request is not being lazy, but I just think it's like a "smile" (just like what Olivier said). If a smile is unreturned, why should bother? It's best to continue life as it is. All of us has ever given unreturned smiles along the path of life, so it shouldn't be a problem at all. It may be inconvenient, but it's the fact of life we need to accept. Despite of global warning, the world is getting colder. Perhaps Naisbitt made a point on "Global Paradox". :P
and by the way, Eurodude...I am good looking...LOL! (but I have added you earlier before adding HDM). Just kidding.
I do accept any "Frienship Request". It doesn't hurt and it doesn't make me proud either. I just take it as a way to say "Hi, I am there, How are you doing?" I don't see any bad in it.
Error corrected.
Thank you. Though pink color looked very cute. :P
Too late, I have already put in my request for all good looking ones to be forwarded to me...:lol:
Ahhh, please share...and please don't shun me.
I know I shouldn't meddle again, since I hope this matter has been closed and I have apologized to persons offended and have given my opinion on the matter. And I am grateful for Om, Waamstrong, Olivier, and Eurodude for being so nice.
The point of sending friend request is not being lazy, but I just think it's like a "smile" (just like what Olivier said). If a smile is unreturned, why should bother? It's best to continue life as it is. All of us has ever given unreturned smiles along the path of life, so it shouldn't be a problem at all. It may be inconvenient, but it's the fact of life we need to accept. Despite of global warning, the world is getting colder. Perhaps Naisbitt made a point on "Global Paradox". :P
and by the way, Eurodude...I am good looking...LOL! (but I have added you earlier before adding HDM). Just kidding.
I do hope that you did add me first, how should I feel if you added me after you were rejected? I'd feel like and old sock, used, abused and thrown away.
Ahhh, please share...and please don't shun me.
No problemo , I'm happy to share my toys, as long as you don't mind seconds... :whistle:
No problemo , I'm happy to share my toys, as long as you don't mind seconds... :whistle:
L is out for shopping, init? :whistle:
I bet you wouldn't be that brave if she would be around, mate. :lol:
I took a similar line, tho' definitely not for the same reasons when I first joined the forum.
After some time I changed my position and accepted a request, thanks IndoMom,:smile2: and now, no one wants to be friends with me... :pout:
Om....If they don't want you as their friends is their lost..LOL..in the mean time, too bad you live so far away from Jakarta - otherwise, I would like to meet you and your wife..cheers..
exiledgooner
12-01-10, 14:18
what friendship ?
I never thought a friend request can cause me so much trouble. Ok, this is my last answers to both of you:
@ Hombre: Ok. I have removed you from my friend list as well, Ok? So can we get over this please? Friendship comes from the willingness of two parties to share friendship, and not because the persons meet in a bar, or in bed, or in forum. Time and place are irrelevant. It only starts with friendship gestures, perhaps a smile, or a nood, or a handshake. So we have a rather different conception of friendship anyhow. And friendship comes in different levels and intimacy. I wouldn't expect to meet a BFF in a forum, though I never exclude that possibility. That's my opinion. To you yours to me mine.
@ back. So why wasting your time in commenting to things unrelated to you? Aren't you wasting your life?
geez. settle petal.
I'm with you Hombre. If I want to befriend a person here I send a PM. I have a reason for attempting friendship when I do it. I don't just send a "hi how are you" with nothing else to ask or say. Otherwise what is the point? A smile? Come on, we are online. We don't have the luxury of being able to read someones face when they send that "smile" as in the real world. To boot when we smile in the real world there is either a follow up by one or the other approaching to talk or not and friendship can't develop in that latter case.
Send me a PM letting me know a little about you, ask me questions and give me something so I can understand what your intentions are ie: why you seek my friendship and why you think from my writing you think we have a good chance of developing a real friendship. Something like that. Something with more substance than a "friend request". "Hi how are you?" accompanied with "It appears we have somethings in common" only surpasses a "friend request". There is only so much time in a day, a week, a life to bother with less. I'm the type of person who likes to be direct and I prefer others to be direct with me instead of playing the common dance people move to, playing it safe and unrevealing in order to attempt friendship. Those dances are just too common. Most never go far either because it would take way too long to develop real friendship with them, if that is possible at all.
Tell me an interesting story. Crack funny. Ask me an interesting question. Attempt an off the cuff psychological assessment of me or someone in the room even if you are way off mark. Do any of these things or more but please spare me the "friend request" unaccompanied with a PM. Anyone worthy of my friendship won't require the hollow public stamping that we are now "Friends" in the Forum. My friendships never have in the past. It's about quality not quantity.
For those who think this attitude is snobby or negative in some way or another, good. My words have just syphoned off those who don't have much chance of being friends with me anyways.
Btw Hombre, I sent you a PM a time or two but received no reply. Maybe I didn't follow my own criteria stated above to justify a reply. I can say this much it, it sure as hell wasn't "Hi, how are you?" only. Oh you replied once pertaining to the proximity of how close we lived to each other when you lived in Jkt. I sent a PM to Atlantis too with no return pertaining to nutmeg with no reply. Atlantis and I have PM'd at other times though but that wasn't really personal in nature.
I'm with you Hombre. If I want to befriend a person here I send a PM. I have a reason for attempting friendship when I do it. I don't just send a "hi how are you" with nothing else to ask or say. Otherwise what is the point? A smile? Come on, we are online. We don't have the luxury of being able to read someones face when they send that "smile" as in the real world. To boot when we smile in the real world there is either a follow up by one or the other approaching to talk or not and friendship can't develop in that latter case.
Send me a PM letting me know a little about you, ask me questions and give me something so I can understand what your intentions are ie: why you seek my friendship and why you think from my writing you think we have a good chance of developing a real friendship. Something like that. Something with more substance than a "friend request". "Hi how are you?" accompanied with "It appears we have somethings in common" only surpasses a "friend request". There is only so much time in a day, a week, a life to bother with less. I'm the type of person who likes to be direct and I prefer others to be direct with me instead of playing the common dance people move to, playing it safe and unrevealing in order to attempt friendship. Those dances are just too common. Most never go far either because it would take way too long to develop real friendship with them, if that is possible at all.
Tell me an interesting story. Crack funny. Ask me an interesting question. Attempt an off the cuff psychological assessment of me or someone in the room even if you are way off mark. Do any of these things or more but please spare me the "friend request" unaccompanied with a PM. Anyone worthy of my friendship won't require the hollow public stamping that we are now "Friends" in the Forum. My friendships never have in the past. It's about quality not quantity.
For those who think this attitude is snobby or negative in some way or another, good. My words have just syphoned off those who don't have much chance of being friends with me anyways.
Btw Hombre, I sent you a PM a time or two but received no reply. Maybe I didn't follow my own criteria stated above to justify a reply. I can say this much it, it sure as hell wasn't "Hi, how are you?" only. Oh you replied once pertaining to the proximity of how close we lived to each other when you lived in Jkt. I sent a PM to Atlantis too with no return pertaining to nutmeg with no reply. Atlantis and I have PM'd at other times though but that wasn't really personal in nature.
Or maybe HDM doesn't want to be a friend? Whilst he is right in principal, that the function is a bruised ego booster,, or for people more friendly in this life, it's rather like a lady wearing a Jilbab going into a bar selling alcohol and complaining about a song that may not be "halal" (Jeff Buckley), who cares anyhow? it's a waste of oxygen and power to have to say that you won't be accepting anymore friend requests, if you don't like it, then leave it, and from what I see, most potential friends already have, and in this life as short as it is, don't we need as many friends as we can get?
To make the statement in the first place was vain and unnecessary, to actually seriously debate it rather than just fall over laughing at the miniscule gesture is worse. I saw an old lady today, she needed medical care, I gave her a small amount of money to help, that was much more important than some forgetable gesture, only trouble is, with the internet, this is etched in stone for all time for people to laugh at.
Or maybe HDM doesn't want to be a friend? Whilst he is right in principal, that the function is a bruised ego booster,, or for people more friendly in this life, it's rather like a lady wearing a Jilbab going into a bar selling alcohol and complaining about a song that may not be "halal" (Jeff Buckley), who cares anyhow? it's a waste of oxygen and power to have to say that you won't be accepting anymore friend requests, if you don't like it, then leave it, and from what I see, most potential friends already have, and in this life as short as it is, don't we need as many friends as we can get?
To make the statement in the first place was vain and unnecessary, to actually seriously debate it rather than just fall over laughing at the miniscule gesture is worse. I saw an old lady today, she needed medical care, I gave her a small amount of money to help, that was much more important than some forgetable gesture, only trouble is, with the internet, this is etched in stone for all time for people to laugh at.
Yes possibly.
From reading HDM posts for some time now, it would be shocking he wrote that post out of vanity. Unnecessary? Possibly. He felt it so, enough to write it as you have to write your replies. Were yours necessary? Possibly he decided to write that post to prevent him from just pressing on "Request Denied" frequently either wihout explanation or having to write explanations multiple times. If so, you will be pleased to know by writing that post he is saving oxygen and energy over the long haul.
No we don't need as many friends as we can get. Well, maybe you and some people do. Even if he welcomes new friends, I'm sure he has no problem meeting people without being sent a "Friendship" request here. It's not a contest to see how many "friends" we can cram into our short lived life.
Your story re: handing an elderly lady your pocket scraps was nice. Were you implying that because HDM "wastes" his time, "oxygen" and "energy", with said post, he therefore doesn't take the time out to help others? Silly really. Talk about vanity.
Hombre de Maiz
12-01-10, 20:14
... he decided to write that post to prevent him from just pressing on "Request Denied" frequently either wihout explanation or having to write explanations multiple times...
Correct. Not responding to, simply blowing off the two incoming Friendship requests made me uneasy, but I also didnīt want to reply and explain myself to people with whom I had never had a discussion, verbal or written, ever before in my life.
Pimp, I owe you a PM. Better yet, I owe you a beer next time I pass through Jakarta.
I would like that also and perhaps one day we might meet IndoMom, tho' I must admit to being terribly biased against Jakarta and it would be unlikely I would choose to visit there...:scared:
Correct. Not responding to, simply blowing off the two incoming Friendship requests made me uneasy, but I also didnīt want to reply and explain myself to people with whom I had never had a discussion, verbal or written, ever before in my life.
Pimp, I owe you a PM. Better yet, I owe you a beer next time I pass through Jakarta.
Not having any friends, I wouldn't know, but couldn't you just do nothing? or if clicking was too stressful, then you didn't need to login in the first place, which would not only have solved your problem....
It must be hell, having three friends, having to spend 450ms each click, refusing the others, alternatively why not save cluttering the forum and replace your "i'll take the highroad and you take the lowroad and I'll shout at the Satpam" Signature and state in your sig that you didn't want any friends, to most it would appear at the least to be understandable.
Hey hombre, I have supported you from time to time, where is my offer of a free beer? or is it because, perhaps more often, I have also disagreed with you...:whistle:
Hombre de Maiz
12-01-10, 20:39
I offered to buy you and your lady strawberry shortcake when I last passed through Solo, and you wimped out...
I offered to buy you and your lady strawberry shortcake when I last passed through Solo, and you wimped out...
I don't recall there being an offer of free grub, as a Scotsman that would have definitely left an indelible impression on me, :lol: and for the record the story of us not meeting up is not quite as straightforward as you imply... gak apa2, nanti mungken.
I sent a PM to Atlantis too with no return pertaining to nutmeg with no reply. Atlantis and I have PM'd at other times though but that wasn't really personal in nature.
Sorry Pimpin, I did reply to you. With delay I agree but I did reply concerning the nutmeg's stuff, telling you that the nutmeg we have in SulUt are only for the local market and were not of enough quality to be exported. From what I know only the one from Sangihe and the Maluku are exported.
I sometimes, more often than I would like, delay the answer to PM I receive but it is mainly due to the number of PM a day I receive. I tend to give the priority to posts. It doesn't mean that I ignore PMs nor that I ignore people, but an answer to a PM give an answer to only one person. A post on this board answers to much more people. End of the story.
I don't recall there being an offer of free grub, as a Scotsman that would have definitely left an indelible impression on me, :lol: and for the record the story of us not meeting up is not quite as straightforward as you imply... gak apa2, nanti mungken.
Not indelible, more like inedible. Scotland is the place I believe where the people eat cholestorol
I'm with you Hombre. If I want to befriend a person here I send a PM. I have a reason for attempting friendship when I do it. I don't just send a "hi how are you" with nothing else to ask or say. Otherwise what is the point? A smile? Come on, we are online. We don't have the luxury of being able to read someones face when they send that "smile" as in the real world. To boot when we smile in the real world there is either a follow up by one or the other approaching to talk or not and friendship can't develop in that latter case.
Send me a PM letting me know a little about you, ask me questions and give me something so I can understand what your intentions are ie: why you seek my friendship and why you think from my writing you think we have a good chance of developing a real friendship. Something like that. Something with more substance than a "friend request". "Hi how are you?" accompanied with "It appears we have somethings in common" only surpasses a "friend request". There is only so much time in a day, a week, a life to bother with less. I'm the type of person who likes to be direct and I prefer others to be direct with me instead of playing the common dance people move to, playing it safe and unrevealing in order to attempt friendship. Those dances are just too common. Most never go far either because it would take way too long to develop real friendship with them, if that is possible at all.
Tell me an interesting story. Crack funny. Ask me an interesting question. Attempt an off the cuff psychological assessment of me or someone in the room even if you are way off mark. Do any of these things or more but please spare me the "friend request" unaccompanied with a PM. Anyone worthy of my friendship won't require the hollow public stamping that we are now "Friends" in the Forum. My friendships never have in the past. It's about quality not quantity.
For those who think this attitude is snobby or negative in some way or another, good. My words have just syphoned off those who don't have much chance of being friends with me anyways.
Btw Hombre, I sent you a PM a time or two but received no reply. Maybe I didn't follow my own criteria stated above to justify a reply. I can say this much it, it sure as hell wasn't "Hi, how are you?" only. Oh you replied once pertaining to the proximity of how close we lived to each other when you lived in Jkt. I sent a PM to Atlantis too with no return pertaining to nutmeg with no reply. Atlantis and I have PM'd at other times though but that wasn't really personal in nature.
Since the post is seemingly directed to all my answers, then I would like to answer Pimpin's answer:
1. Agree that we don't know whether we are smile or not in internet, that's why people use emoticons, "interested" buttons, etc. Do you have any other means? OH, perhaps via webcam. You also implied in your answer that it's the "smile" first before talking. Approaching someone without smiling and attempt to talk to him only succeed if you are a big boss or a policeman.
2. Ok, points taken. But I never read your postings, Pimpin - so it's very unlikely I will add you. I read HDM's posts because we posted in the same topic several times (Political and Current Events) and it seems he has some similar idea with me on some matters. But again, never mind on that.
If you think I add just anyone, I don't. I only add people interesting to me, for example I added Olivier first because I admired his help and his vast knowledge on a lot of matters. Basically I added 4-5 persons (now I did add Om and Blaiser so the number might increase, but I already chatted with Blaiser about language exchange). I was added by 2-3 persons. Considering that I have joined this forum for months (since my nick was JohnJohn only - and even before that when this forum had old format), I believe I am not addictive into adding for quantity.
Points taken, so perhaps we should move on. Perhaps it was offensive for HDM (and also perhaps for you) to get friends' add. And being clear like that should be better. I have apologized to him for adding him. And Pimpin, I didn't add you, ok? So relax.
"I believe I am not addictive into adding for quantity"
Don't worry about that, go for the post count.
Don't you forget me, ye hear?
"I believe I am not addictive into adding for quantity"
Don't worry about that, go for the post count.
Don't you forget me, ye hear?
Haha, I believe you commented something funny on one thread about me. I found it funny and I like funny people (beside knowledgeable people) so I decided to add you. Hopefully it didn't offend you. :) Have a nice evening, Euro. :)
Since the post is seemingly directed to all my answers, then I would like to answer Pimpin's answer:
1. Agree that we don't know whether we are smile or not in internet, that's why people use emoticons, "interested" buttons, etc. Do you have any other means? OH, perhaps via webcam. You also implied in your answer that it's the "smile" first before talking. Approaching someone without smiling and attempt to talk to him only succeed if you are a big boss or a policeman.
2. Ok, points taken. But I never read your postings, Pimpin - so it's very unlikely I will add you. I read HDM's posts because we posted in the same topic several times (Political and Current Events) and it seems he has some similar idea with me on some matters. But again, never mind on that.
If you think I add just anyone, I don't. I only add people interesting to me, for example I added Olivier first because I admired his help and his vast knowledge on a lot of matters. Basically I added 4-5 persons (now I did add Om and Blaiser so the number might increase, but I already chatted with Blaiser about language exchange). I was added by 2-3 persons. Considering that I have joined this forum for months (since my nick was JohnJohn only - and even before that when this forum had old format), I believe I am not addictive into adding for quantity.
Points taken, so perhaps we should move on. Perhaps it was offensive for HDM (and also perhaps for you) to get friends' add. And being clear like that should be better. I have apologized to him for adding him. And Pimpin, I didn't add you, ok? So relax.
1. Perhaps in real life but it's not really necessary online. If I'm not sure someone is going to get my point, it being meant in an unoffensive nature, I may place a smiley beside it or give a "hehehe" or a "hahaha". At least I have made an effort to introduce myself in a meaningful manner. Sending a Friend request just doesn't fit that bill.
2. Same thing applies. If I see similiar interests in a person here I will introduce myself with a PM. It's personal. Sending a F.R. isn't plus it's lazy. If someone is only inspired enough to send a F.R. and not a PM to gain my friendship, I would say most of the time starting anything with them will be a waste of time.
Im going to go out on a limb on this one and speak for both HDM and myself by saying your appology was most unneccesary. Do you think it was an offensive act that you did by sending him a F.R.? If not then I don't see a good reason for appologizing. I'm sure if he feels offended, which I imagine is a rare occurance, he probably in most cases doesn't hesitate to let the other person know. He wrote that piece for reasons already stated and that is that. You and others may still not understand it. I'm sure he is familiar with not being understood. No need to appologize about that too.
Im fully aware you didn't add me. I would have been notified if you did. Did you know telling someone to relax to someone who isn't, usually gets you the opposite reaction to which you were seeking? Good for us I wasn't ever not relaxed during this thread. If not I might have really gone off.
Sorry Pimpin, I did reply to you. With delay I agree but I did reply concerning the nutmeg's stuff, telling you that the nutmeg we have in SulUt are only for the local market and were not of enough quality to be exported. From what I know only the one from Sangihe and the Maluku are exported.
I sometimes, more often than I would like, delay the answer to PM I receive but it is mainly due to the number of PM a day I receive. I tend to give the priority to posts. It doesn't mean that I ignore PMs nor that I ignore people, but an answer to a PM give an answer to only one person. A post on this board answers to much more people. End of the story.
Ok Atlantis. Sorry if you did reply. I don't remember receiving that reply. Maluku nutmeg is of lesser quality than the Sangihe and Menado region. There is plenty of great export quality nutmeg around the Menado area on the mainland. I am very familiar with nutmeg on Siau and its reputation to being the best in the world. Although that is true, the degree less if any in the Menado region isn't near great enough to make it not export quality. It's possible due to various factors, your wifes trees don't produce quality product. Thanks and sorry again for my mistake. It must be due to all that stuff Omdyf used to intake years ago. It's rubbing off.
It's possible due to various factors, your wifes trees don't produce quality product. You are spot on I think. Anyway it is what I explained you in my PM. The pala trees are outnumbered by the cengkeh and the nutmeg production is a marginal part of the total she is selling. We have never seriously considered exporting it. I believe it wouldn't be worth the headache anyway. The local market is OK to us.
Sorry for the OT.
I'm with you Hombre. If I want to befriend a person here I send a PM. I have a reason for attempting friendship when I do it. I don't just send a "hi how are you" with nothing else to ask or say. Otherwise what is the point? A smile? Come on, we are online. We don't have the luxury of being able to read someones face when they send that "smile" as in the real world. To boot when we smile in the real world there is either a follow up by one or the other approaching to talk or not and friendship can't develop in that latter case.
Send me a PM letting me know a little about you, ask me questions and give me something so I can understand what your intentions are ie: why you seek my friendship and why you think from my writing you think we have a good chance of developing a real friendship. Something like that. Something with more substance than a "friend request". "Hi how are you?" accompanied with "It appears we have somethings in common" only surpasses a "friend request". There is only so much time in a day, a week, a life to bother with less. I'm the type of person who likes to be direct and I prefer others to be direct with me instead of playing the common dance people move to, playing it safe and unrevealing in order to attempt friendship. Those dances are just too common. Most never go far either because it would take way too long to develop real friendship with them, if that is possible at all.
Tell me an interesting story. Crack funny. Ask me an interesting question. Attempt an off the cuff psychological assessment of me or someone in the room even if you are way off mark. Do any of these things or more but please spare me the "friend request" unaccompanied with a PM. Anyone worthy of my friendship won't require the hollow public stamping that we are now "Friends" in the Forum. My friendships never have in the past. It's about quality not quantity.
For those who think this attitude is snobby or negative in some way or another, good. My words have just syphoned off those who don't have much chance of being friends with me anyways.
Btw Hombre, I sent you a PM a time or two but received no reply. Maybe I didn't follow my own criteria stated above to justify a reply. I can say this much it, it sure as hell wasn't "Hi, how are you?" only. Oh you replied once pertaining to the proximity of how close we lived to each other when you lived in Jkt. I sent a PM to Atlantis too with no return pertaining to nutmeg with no reply. Atlantis and I have PM'd at other times though but that wasn't really personal in nature.
Does that mean I cant become your facebook friend either then ?
:(
Pimp, I owe you a PM. Better yet, I owe you a beer next time I pass through Jakarta.
Oh yeah, I think I sent you some PM's also.
But you can just send me the money for the beers....
Ok Pimpin,
let me paraphrase your points before finishing this off. I ddin't mean to be rude, but this is my "direct" comment on you, as you request:
Send me a PM letting me know a little about you, ask me questions and give me something so I can understand what your intentions are ie: why you seek my friendship and why you think from my writing you think we have a good chance of developing a real friendship. Something like that. Something with more substance than a "friend request". "Hi how are you?" accompanied with "It appears we have somethings in common" only surpasses a "friend request". There is only so much time in a day, a week, a life to bother with less. I'm the type of person who likes to be direct and I prefer others to be direct with me instead of playing the common dance people move to, playing it safe and unrevealing in order to attempt friendship. Those dances are just too common. Most never go far either because it would take way too long to develop real friendship with them, if that is possible at all.
Tell me an interesting story. Crack funny. Ask me an interesting question. Attempt an off the cuff psychological assessment of me or someone in the room even if you are way off mark. Do any of these things or more but please spare me the "friend request" unaccompanied with a PM. Anyone worthy of my friendship won't require the hollow public stamping that we are now "Friends" in the Forum. My friendships never have in the past. It's about quality not quantity.
For those who think this attitude is snobby or negative in some way or another, good. My words have just syphoned off those who don't have much chance of being friends with me anyways.
I really do believe you ask much more than Paris Hilton in BBF reality show she did. I do hope you will find people willing to do so to be your friends. I myself believe friendship starts with equality. Why trying to be someone I am not in trying to befriend with someone? If I am not funny, if I am not smart, well, there will be people appreciating my genuinity.
1. Perhaps in real life but it's not really necessary online. If I'm not sure someone is going to get my point, it being meant in an unoffensive nature, I may place a smiley beside it or give a "hehehe" or a "hahaha". At least I have made an effort to introduce myself in a meaningful manner. Sending a Friend request just doesn't fit that bill.
So I assume you never poke/show interest anyone in facebook or in other sites, dating on non dating, serious or non serious. Congratulation. You always make them all in emails. That's a good value, and I appreciate that.
2. Same thing applies. If I see similiar interests in a person here I will introduce myself with a PM. It's personal. Sending a F.R. isn't plus it's lazy. If someone is only inspired enough to send a F.R. and not a PM to gain my friendship, I would say most of the time starting anything with them will be a waste of time.
I appreciate this. You may make a point there.
Hopefully you will be consistent, whether the one adding you is some celebrities, pretty girls or some unknown bloke.
Im going to go out on a limb on this one and speak for both HDM and myself by saying your appology was most unneccesary. Do you think it was an offensive act that you did by sending him a F.R.? If not then I don't see a good reason for appologizing. I'm sure if he feels offended, which I imagine is a rare occurance, he probably in most cases doesn't hesitate to let the other person know. He wrote that piece for reasons already stated and that is that. You and others may still not understand it. I'm sure he is familiar with not being understood. No need to appologize about that too.
I understand what he said through the line and in between, as much as I understand your points.
Im fully aware you didn't add me. I would have been notified if you did. Did you know telling someone to relax to someone who isn't, usually gets you the opposite reaction to which you were seeking? Good for us I wasn't ever not relaxed during this thread. If not I might have really gone off.
Isn't it good for you?
Cheers and enjoy life.
exiledgooner
13-01-10, 09:47
some people have way too much time
No longer have an account with FB.
Back from the dead
13-01-10, 13:23
some people have way too much time
Agreed ............ damn I replied to a reply so that makes me a saddo as well ......... anyway being an exiledgooner you still probbly feel better than being a an exiledmag .. I guess we must have broken 13 mirrors whilst walking under 13 ladders whilst 13 black cats crossed our path ......... such is the burden of Toon Army footsoldiers
I would like that also and perhaps one day we might meet IndoMom, tho' I must admit to being terribly biased against Jakarta and it would be unlikely I would choose to visit there...:scared:
OM....I think your inbox is full ..time for spring cleaning??!..
OM....I think your inbox is full ..time for spring cleaning??!..
Yes it is, I will try to sort it now, but I'm confused as to how to save the messages?....
I think Paman may have already told you, but anyhow.... select all the message, float you mouse down to the little radio bos and the save all the messages as...(suggest text here)
waarmstrong
14-01-10, 10:12
Thanks EuroDude. You occasionally produce a nugget of useful info.
Thanks EuroDude. You occasionally produce a nugget of useful info.
No need for you to thank me Waarm, I didn't do anything for you, unless you were also unable to save your messages, in which case I humbly accept your thanks in exactly the same spirit as you gave them.
waarmstrong
14-01-10, 14:41
Not only helpful, but perceptive, as well.
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