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View Full Version : Long Distance Relationship (LDR)



September
23-01-09, 20:33
Ladies,
LDR, do it or stay away from it? And reasons please... :p

Pippi
23-01-09, 21:28
Ladies,
LDR, do it or stay away from it? And reasons please... :p

Do it!!! been there, done that... happy ending ;)

izamarina
24-01-09, 05:06
I am living it now...LOL.. JUST DO IT girl~~

You just need alot of trust, understanding, patience, tolerance and a whole bunch of emotional crap that comes with it, including the green-eye monster (lurking when you dont get a phone call/sms or email in a day). My partner and I are coping very well. We both work for different companies, in different countries and our homes are also in different parts of Europe. Currently I am based in Asia and he in Europe. We made trips anywhere around the world just to be together. Even weekends if we are in the same region, we fly in to see each other. He comes home to me in between his work travels.

Its not easy, but from the beginning it was understood that for now this is the best option for us as we are both not prepare to give up our careers for one to follow the other. Its not about us not loving each other or the need to sacrifice either. We are fine living together and fine too when we are apart. We met when we were working in the same country (hahaha..yep we're Expats..). But hell, we do miss each other alot. However, it was easy as we set up a routine communication (whatever the time difference) either on the internet, mobile phones or just regular phone calls. On the physical side~~need I say~~ hell sometimes (thats when our phone bills go up!!). It takes quite alot of energy actually, but we rather put up with this than drifting from relationship to relationship as we both know we love and is right for each other. Love is crazy, it makes you crazy, We know this, even at our sort of 'mature' ages. Even though we are apart for now, I still see him/he~me, every morning every night (thank god for the webcam). Every moment is precious, and each time we meet..its a honeymoon..always a honeymoon.

We've already taken steps in planning our lives together for the future, but for now LDR is GOOD. Its not easy...but do~able. When I miss him, he comforts me with gentle words, when he misses me, I comfort him just the same. We do have a life, we still see or go out with our own friends, but we always come back to each other~~ and I always look forward to his coming home~ :)

We have 100% trust..otherwise we cant be doing this..not easy but not impossible.

Arwen
24-01-09, 22:53
If your love strong enough, do it. I've been there.

Pisces
31-01-09, 22:58
I would say just do it coz mine is a happy ending....but in addition to that, both must realise that it will take a lot of trust, patience, tolerance and understanding to maintain the LDR (as said above by Izamarina). Honestly, it will be hard sometimes, but as some say, love conquers all :D My hubby and I had LDR for nearly 5 years before we got married and I admit there were times it was difficult to maintain the relationship, but we gave 100% into it and it was worth it in the end. So, go for it if you're sure of your love for each other....all the best!

Phoebe
10-02-09, 06:21
Just for a year or two, could be working, too long...drifted apart, doesn't matter how close you two together it's the time and space will slowly taking it's toll.

theimp98
10-02-09, 12:41
It can work,
I talked to my wife for 5 years before i finally went to indo to meet her.
Granted we talking just to take up slow times in the office. looking for love was not the reason we started talking, it just turned into that :)

soobline
10-02-09, 12:51
First post for me on this forum but long time lurker.
Am intending to retire to Bali within 4 years ( have apartment there ) but live in Perth ( that's West Australia, not Scotland :) ).
Had a long distance love affair with a local Bali girl for 12 months but did not work out due to my suspicious nature and inability to get hold of her sometimes.
So my answer to the question is , yes it can work and I hope it does for me because am looking for an Indonesian GF/wife but it requires complete trust from both parties.

Cheers
Ken

Black Adder
10-02-09, 12:58
It can work,
I talked to my wife for 5 years before i finally went to indo to meet her.
Granted we talking just to take up slow times in the office. looking for love was not the reason we started talking, it just turned into that :)

I beleive you are comparing apples to oranges, an Internet relationship before you meet each other, before you have been intimate, before you are married and before you have a real loving, touching, living together through good times and bad is not the same like what you describe above.

Personally, I beleive the longest period of time my wife and I have spent away from each other is about a week, maximum, when I was traveling overseas. Any longer and I would take her with me, no matter what sacrifices we both had to make, she feels the same way, otherwise she or I just wouldn't go, no matter what we had to sacrifice to stay together.

theimp98
10-02-09, 13:41
We had to spend a year apart after we first got married. With the ability to talk to each other every day by IM, skype and SMS, the distance was liveable, sure it was Not always fun.

Since right now , i can not move back there, she sometimes goes back to run her business(or when winter gets to cold here lol) LDR can work if both people trust each other.

but if the guy or girl does not seem willing to make the move, then they are waste a time.

Mauricio
10-02-09, 13:49
In Spanish they say, "Amor de lejos es de pendejos"...

Black Adder
10-02-09, 17:54
We had to spend a year apart after we first got married. With the ability to talk to each other every day by IM, skype and SMS, the distance was liveable, sure it was Not always fun.

Since right now , i can not move back there, she sometimes goes back to run her business(or when winter gets to cold here lol) LDR can work if both people trust each other.

but if the guy or girl does not seem willing to make the move, then they are waste a time.


Well more power to you and yours but I could not bear to be away from my wife longer than a week.

Chicka
10-02-09, 22:50
Trust and respect are essential in all relationship including LDR.

juvens
06-03-09, 00:15
LDR could work, with patience, communication and dealing with expensive phone bills (was it 200eur? or was it 300eur?) but i prefer to be with someone whom i can't stand to be away from him for more than a month ...
why not find that someone?

ohmdafyd
07-03-09, 06:59
I am living it now...LOL.. JUST DO IT girl~~

You just need alot of trust, understanding, patience, tolerance and a whole bunch of emotional crap that comes with it, including the green-eye monster (lurking when you dont get a phone call/sms or email in a day). My partner and I are coping very well. We both work for different companies, in different countries and our homes are also in different parts of Europe. Currently I am based in Asia and he in Europe. We made trips anywhere around the world just to be together. Even weekends if we are in the same region, we fly in to see each other. He comes home to me in between his work travels.

Its not easy, but from the beginning it was understood that for now this is the best option for us as we are both not prepare to give up our careers for one to follow the other. Its not about us not loving each other or the need to sacrifice either. We are fine living together and fine too when we are apart. We met when we were working in the same country (hahaha..yep we're Expats..). But hell, we do miss each other alot. However, it was easy as we set up a routine communication (whatever the time difference) either on the internet, mobile phones or just regular phone calls. On the physical side~~need I say~~ hell sometimes (thats when our phone bills go up!!). It takes quite alot of energy actually, but we rather put up with this than drifting from relationship to relationship as we both know we love and is right for each other. Love is crazy, it makes you crazy, We know this, even at our sort of 'mature' ages. Even though we are apart for now, I still see him/he~me, every morning every night (thank god for the webcam). Every moment is precious, and each time we meet..its a honeymoon..always a honeymoon.

We've already taken steps in planning our lives together for the future, but for now LDR is GOOD. Its not easy...but do~able. When I miss him, he comforts me with gentle words, when he misses me, I comfort him just the same. We do have a life, we still see or go out with our own friends, but we always come back to each other~~ and I always look forward to his coming home~ :)

We have 100% trust..otherwise we cant be doing this..not easy but not impossible.

[QUOTE=izamarina;15083]I am living it now...LOL.. JUST DO IT girl~~

You just need alot of trust, understanding, patience, tolerance and a whole bunch of emotional crap that comes with it, including the green-eye monster (lurking when you dont get a phone call/sms or email in a day). My partner and I are coping very well. We both work for different companies, in different countries and our homes are also in different parts of Europe. Currently I am based in Asia and he in Europe. We made trips anywhere around the world just to be together. Even weekends if we are in the same region, we fly in to see each other. He comes home to me in between his work travels.

Its not easy, but from the beginning it was understood that for now this is the best option for us as we are both not prepare to give up our careers for one to follow the other. Its not about us not loving each other or the need to sacrifice either. We are fine living together and fine too when we are apart. We met when we were working in the same country (hahaha..yep we're Expats..). But hell, we do miss each other alot. However, it was easy as we set up a routine communication (whatever the time difference) either on the internet, mobile phones or just regular phone calls. On the physical side~~need I say~~ hell sometimes (thats when our phone bills go up!!). It takes quite alot of energy actually, but we rather put up with this than drifting from relationship to relationship as we both know we love and is right for each other. Love is crazy, it makes you crazy, We know this, even at our sort of 'mature' ages. Even though we are apart for now, I still see him/he~me, every morning every night (thank god for the webcam). Every moment is precious, and each time we meet..its a honeymoon..always a honeymoon.

'On the physical side~~need I say~~ hell sometimes (thats when our phone bills go up!!). It takes quite alot of energy...'

Mobile phone on 'Vibrating' setting? ;}

ohmdafyd
07-03-09, 07:02
It can work,
I talked to my wife for 5 years before i finally went to indo to meet her.
Granted we talking just to take up slow times in the office. looking for love was not the reason we started talking, it just turned into that :)


'we talking just to take up slow times in the office.'

is it any wonder we now have an Internation Credit Crisis and many companies going bankrupt...all of these LTR's on associated phone calls on the companies expense account.. ;}

ohmdafyd
07-03-09, 07:04
'.. but I could not bear to be away from my wife longer than a week.'

Ohhhhh, ain't that sweet..you looking to score tonight mate. ;}

aries girl
27-03-09, 02:46
Been there, done that with high phone bills before we have the internet. As long as boths decide will have a future together less than that you will just wasting the time.

Liamm_1
28-03-09, 13:21
In Spanish they say, "Amor de lejos es de pendejos"...
In English they say, "Only gays drive little black trucks".
Oh, and women of course.

Liamm_1
28-03-09, 13:24
Hello all, for those who don't know, the O.P. of this thread is my gf :)
I'll be leaving in 1 week, to spend 3 weeks with her. Looking forward to it very much. Aku cinta kamu sayang :)

atlantis
28-03-09, 16:16
In English they say, "Only gays drive little black trucks".
Oh, and women of course.
Liamm, "amor de lejos es de pendejos" is indeed a south american saying.
Though I admit it is quite rude (literally speaking), I do not think that it was intended to offend you or the OP. If one does want to hear only happy ending stories, better not to ask this type of question on the first place.

Mauricio
28-03-09, 18:37
It is, indeed, a common colloquial phase in Spanish that connotes no rudeness. As for your comment, it does reek of a juvenile homophobia. Only gays and women drive black trucks? Come on, Liamm, I haven't heard lines like that since high school...

cirebloke
28-03-09, 22:11
In English they say, "Only gays drive little black trucks".
Oh, and women of course.

I have lived in England for nearly 40 years and have never heard such an expression, Liamm?

Perhaps if the little black truck in question was to run over your elbow, you would have more respect for its size.
Hell, we could fill it with gay guys in pink hot pants, and sell tickets.

Who wants a ticket to my show?

100,000rph with a glass of free bucks fizz.

atlantis
29-03-09, 05:40
It is, indeed, a common colloquial phase in Spanish that connotes no rudeness. As for your comment, it does reek of a juvenile homophobia. Only gays and women drive black trucks? Come on, Liamm, I haven't heard lines like that since high school...
Your spanish is obviously much better than mine Mauricio and I won't try to argue with you about that. :) However, I doubt that if you would be facing someone and call him a "pendejo", he would appreciate it. Hence my "literally rude". A correct translation of it would be "fool" or "naive", wouldn' it?

Mauricio
29-03-09, 11:34
Yes, fool or naive would be translation in that phrase. Lost in translation, I guess...

Liamm_1
30-03-09, 13:22
It is, indeed, a common colloquial phase in Spanish that connotes no rudeness. As for your comment, it does reek of a juvenile homophobia. Only gays and women drive black trucks? Come on, Liamm, I haven't heard lines like that since high school...
If referring to someone as a "pendejo' connotes no rudeness, then neither does my referring to someone as a "maricon". :) Get over it.
Aside from that, the original poster clearly was adressing 'ladies'. So, I'll assume any response is from a lady. Now, move along.

All4you
30-03-09, 13:39
Aside from that, the original poster clearly was adressing 'ladies'. So, I'll assume any response is from a lady.
You are confusing me... From the pic you have as an avatar I thought you were a man.:eek: Jeezzzz... We can not trust anyone nowadays! :rolleyes:

Liamm_1
30-03-09, 13:42
You are confusing me... From the pic you have as an avatar I thought you were a man.:eek: Jeezzzz... We can not trust anyone nowadays! :rolleyes:
As far as avatars go, I'm going to leave this comment alone, out of politeness. :)

Mauricio
30-03-09, 14:24
If referring to someone as a "pendejo' connotes no rudeness, then neither does my referring to someone as a "maricon". :) Get over it.
Aside from that, the original poster clearly was adressing 'ladies'. So, I'll assume any response is from a lady. Now, move along.


Get over it? Get over what? It wasn't I who showed his homophobia in a laughable, high-schoolish way. The intent was clearly spiteful, an attempt to land a punch (below the belt). That much is clear, semantics aside...

cirebloke
04-04-09, 04:18
And, suddenly, Liamm is so quiet.

Quod erat demonstrandum.