Fingers or hands disorder ?

[Alia]

My 7 yo girl has a bad habit that started to worries me.

A year or so ago, I called a music teacher to come to the house, to teach her keyboard. She learned for a while, but she started to play her fingers when she’s not practicing the instrument. She played like she is with the keyboard. So I reminded her every time she started to move her fingers like playing. I was thinking that because she still learns the instrument, and its beyond her control that her fingers start to play. And seemed like she didn't really enjoy when the real practice time came, so she quit. After the quitting, for months she still moved her fingers like playing the keyboard, but then it stopped. I’m happy.

Not too long after the dancing fingers, she started to bend her fingers. Both hands and at any time. There is no particular time, she did it when I talked to her, when she studied, when she played, I remind her all the time every time I saw her doing it and that its not good habit, and she should stop. After months, she stopped. I’m happy.

But my happiness is again disturbed. She is now likes to pinch her back of hand. Both hands. Now its started to blacken because she keeps pinching them. I again keep telling her this is not a good thing, and she should stop doing it. She still doing it now. She promised she wont do it again, but I realize if its a nerves problem, it will be beyond her control. I hope this wont last long.

Any idea ? What is it that she has ? Ok, you’re not a doctor, and I know I should see one if this disorder remain, but perhaps you have some experience about this with your child and care to share ?

[ponyexpress]

Did you ask her how does she feel when she's doing it? It may have something to do with her psychological condition. Maybe it helps her to deal with her nervousness or something. It's good idea to seek some advice from an expert though.

[Alia]

Yes, I did ask her. The answer is either just smile or "gak papa kok mommy".

She is a cheerful, extrovert, happy and smart little girl. She also has a good self confidence. She is not easy to get nervous on something. She is brave even to a new environment or new people. She could just go to a stage and sing with the microphone if she sees one around.

Thanks Pony. :)

[Crusader]

Kids can find joy in doing small things and sometimes its beyond reasoning.

In my opinion the best thing is to keep observing her and draw patterns, if you could, which may help you understand better or even explain to the doctor better, if you decide to see one.

Kids at this age are also naturally rebellious. It may also be the case that since you have been tryig to restrict whatever she does with her fingers and hands, she is revolting by pinching herslef at the back of the hands. I am sure the pinching hurts and may be you should stop telling her to stop. Since it hurts, she should drop this herself in a few days, if she doesn't then better you consult a specialist for advice.

[naughtygab]

here is what i learn during my final year at univ.
1. it's oK to do the dancing fingers.. she is just a kid , she has a lot of imagination.. and the sound of her fingers tapping the table or window give sounds that can be interpreted as the voice of running horses, or some rhythm. ..she might be talented in music . so she enjoy rhytym. I suggest you to bring her to a good music school that can develop the kid's talent. No, sending her to keyboard or violin or any musical intrument without knowing her real musical talent is not enough. Or maybe she hates her teacher.
I used to learn piano for 11 years. but my first 5 years were wasted because i hate the teacher.. and never practice well.

2. did she bend her had backward or forward? she is just playing .. as long as she is not in pain that should be ok .. she will stop when she feel it's hurting her.
3. what did she use to pinch her hand? the other hand? or any pinchet? ... i guess it's just for fun.. kids do it. just make sure no scar or blood is involved

what she did is not a disorder. kids like to play with their body, just to explore the function of their body. you will see her trying to bend her body, strecth her arm as far as she can do, she will twist her own fingers to test her flexibility etc. No need to worry too much. instead, give her freedom to do what she wants. as long as she is not doing any inappropriate thing ( kurang ajar ) she is ok.

me and my cousin when we were kids, we used to imitate crab with our fingers. which made us had to fold our 3 fingers like crab feet.actually it was hurting us.. but we were proud to do it.. since our parents could not do it. - i could not do it now.. not that flexible anymore.
when you were kid, have you tried to see what's your body limit to pain or flexibility or strecthability? ..

My 7 yo girl has a bad habit that started to worries me.

A year or so ago, I called a music teacher to come to the house, to teach her keyboard. She learned for a while, but she started to play her fingers when she’s not practicing the instrument. She played like she is with the keyboard. So I reminded her every time she started to move her fingers like playing. I was thinking that because she still learns the instrument, and its beyond her control that her fingers start to play. And seemed like she didn't really enjoy when the real practice time came, so she quit. After the quitting, for months she still moved her fingers like playing the keyboard, but then it stopped. I’m happy.

Not too long after the dancing fingers, she started to bend her fingers. Both hands and at any time. There is no particular time, she did it when I talked to her, when she studied, when she played, I remind her all the time every time I saw her doing it and that its not good habit, and she should stop. After months, she stopped. I’m happy.

But my happiness is again disturbed. She is now likes to pinch her back of hand. Both hands. Now its started to blacken because she keeps pinching them. I again keep telling her this is not a good thing, and she should stop doing it. She still doing it now. She promised she wont do it again, but I realize if its a nerves problem, it will be beyond her control. I hope this wont last long.

Any idea ? What is it that she has ? Ok, you’re not a doctor, and I know I should see one if this disorder remain, but perhaps you have some experience about this with your child and care to share ?

[Alia]

Hi Naughty, thanks for replying. Reading it makes me a bit relief.
You said you learned this during your final year at univ ? Child's psychology is one of them then ? Sweet !

So here's what I can answer to your questions above :

1. When she played her fingers like playing the keyboard, she didnt do it to a table or window to make any sound, she just did it on air.
But nonethelss, I now think to teach her to play guitar. She has my brother's old guitar and seems to like playing with it, will see about it. About her keyboard teacher, she adored him. And they get along pretty well. The habit just came out of her unconsciousness, i think.

2. She bent her fingers backward.

3. She uses her other hand to pinch her back of hand of other hand. (what a ridiculous sentence :becky:)
Like I said, its now started to blacken. So this is got to stop. It hurting her indirectly.


I know about that crab fingers, I did that too. But it is just once or twice or thrice when we were playing with our friends, isnt it ? My girl is doing this thing (now pinching her back of hand) almost all the time. When she is alone or with anybody else.

I do wish this is not a disorder, and it will be gone by time, but if then I decided to bring her to an expert, what would that be ? A neurologist or child phychiatrist ?

Crus, I hear ya..

[naughtygab]

no alia. i just happened to know these behaviour because my project was related to kid .. and i like kids esp those who are sweet nice and cute .
do you play any keyboard or piano or whatsoever? to me, moving fingers , creating sounds is addicting. i even made a dance routine with my fingers in my spare time ( years ago) so once you learn how to play piano or keyboard, your fingers might want to tap ... no need to worry

about pinching the hand.. there is one experience that my cousin had with her daughter. she tend to hurt herself , by slap herself , give a big hit on her head .. the psychiatrist told my cousin , most of the cases , it was triggered by something bad that happened towards her that shock her emotion. - in my cousin case, she just got another baby and the first kid was becoming the second important one due her brother had some issue

that reminded me about my neighbor's daughter who also had a weird habit ( can't tell you about what she did) . since she was my neighbor, i think that her parent's divorce process has made her did what i called weird , and everytime her mom got a new bf, she got a new weird habbit ( i remember when her mom got a tall guy as bf, this girl jumped everywhere, even in front of the class when she was reading her part , or while she wrote something on the blackboard... she said she did it unpurposedly ). her mom got married to a US guy and they have moved to US. a month before they left, i recognized that this kid's new habbit was clapping her hand .. - btw she is 12 years old.. - she clapped her hand in her sleep while we were in my car.

i really hope your daugher got nothing traumatic that made her pinched herself.

[Mina_H]

Hi Alia,
I have a daughter at the same age as yours.She is smart,happy and cheerful too.I have 3 suggestion for this condition:

1-I realized that smart children are more sensitive than other children.So don,t expect her to tell you everything. My daughter doesn,t tell me the problem if she feels that it makes me unhappy.How often do you meet her teacher? Maybe she has some problems at school in her lessons or with classmates. Look for sources of stress in her life.

2-When she pinches her hands,don,t blame her.Get closer and hug and kiss her and tell her how much you love her.

3-Does she like art and craft or drawing? If the answer is positive it is a good way to make her hands busy.Go together to a bookstore and buy lovely stickers,pens,markers,glitters, whiteboard,... .

I hope these suggestions help you and your lovely girl.

[judylin]

I think your daughter is showing one sign of hyperactive symptoms.
Reference:
http://helpguide.org/mental/adhd_add_signs_symptoms.htm

The good thing, just like the others say she's imaginative and creative.
She might be talented and have high concentration when she's into something.
She might be a quick learner, too.

To some degree, we could consider it a normal thing.
Even for famous guitar player if he's separated from his guitar he might do air guitar.

[PhilippeD]

About the piano...
You can love to play and hate have course.
For any musician, make air music is absolutely normal. I didn't start to learn as early than your daughter, but I always do air music, even more if I heard music my finger automatically start to move.
Despite I'm not really normal, I do believe this part was normal ;)

[vin.vierge]

hmmm
have you tried reward and punishment system to her?
first you need to sit on her level until you make a firm eye contact with her, with a serious tone and tell her that pinching herself is not good and she need to stop. also tell her that you will take one toy at a time if she pinch herself. and you will give her lets say a trip to an amusement park or waterboom, or buy her the things that she wants the most if she havent pinch herself in a week, then the range can move from a week to 2 weeks to 1 month to 2 months etc. and see it from there. and dont forget to cheer her and give her encouragement, praise, hug every time she behave well.
from what I know some kids hurt themselves like pinch, hit, or pulling their hair it indicates frustration and at some cases it indicates guilt, but anyhow different kid have different case.

[jstar]

....just don't do what we like so much in the west: put the kid on Ritalin (Methylphenidate).

Very bad trend, often considered as a miracle drug.

[Alia]

I appreciate and thank you all for your thoughtful replies. I read them all thoroughly and will apply which one(s) I think the best and suits her. Kind of relieve is what I feel now, seems like its nothing serious is going on with her. And based on my latest observation, she seems to start reducing it, pinching her back of hand. Hopefully this habit is about to ends.

Once again, thanks ! :)

[ryanlogic]

I have some experience with similar scenarios in children.
Have you ever asked her how she feels when she is not doing it...or if she forces herself not to perform these habits or rituals?
What I mean is if she tries to prevent herself from doing these things..or if you physically prevent her from doing them..does she feel nervous or scared at all?

If she experiences negative thoughts/emotions when prevented (ideally preventing herself) then it could be a form of Obsessive compulsive disorder (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive%E2%80%93compulsive_disorder#Signs_and_sy mptoms) (OCD)
If she makes any slight but repeated sounds, facial expressions, or body movements that she cannot control without great effort it could also be a mild case of Tourette syndrome (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tourette_syndrome#Characteristics) which is commonly accompanied by OCD
If she displays these characteristics, behavioral therapy (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive%E2%80%93compulsive_disorder#Behavioral_t herapy) is about the only humane way to encourage her to control the rituals. By pointing out the rituals, and encouraging her to stop you are doing the right thing.

[Alia]

Ryan, many thanks for replying..! Really appreciate it. :)

I read all the links you attached, and gladly I can say she is not having all the symptoms of those disorders. Yayy .. !

Its been days since I started this thread, perhaps I started late, and I think I can also say she made good progress and the pinching is almost or dare I say completely stop. I asked the nanny, and she didn't do it during the day. And I also didn't see her doing it when I got home. Very good progress. Mommy is happy now..

You guys are the best. Terima kasih banyak. :)