View Full Version : do all women who have European/Western husbands slept with them before marriage?
I always wonder about it..
Yes, I know Western/European culture but still it's hard to break our Eastern culture..
But I believe that one I could find someone who really cares about me ..
because my sister did find one Holland man and they didn't do it before marriage :)
I always wonder about it..
Yes, I know Western/European culture but still it's hard to break our Eastern culture..
But I believe that one I could find someone who really cares about me ..
because my sister did find one Holland man and they didn't do it before marriage :)
Be different!
Instead of it being a 'culture' thing use your intelligence and self esteem and make it into a personal choice.
After all we are in the 21st century.
Do you want to be an individual or just a sheep?
Alternatively be innovative. Sleep before and refuse to sleep after.
OOps... sorry... that's ladies chat... :smile2:
Alternatively be innovative. Sleep before and refuse to sleep after.
OOps... sorry... that's ladies chat... :smile2:
Wow smart answer A!
:D
Its the high heels and fish nets... they will gain you entry to ladies chat any time.
ponyexpress
21-07-11, 16:21
Alternatively be innovative. Sleep before and refuse to sleep after.
OOps... sorry... that's ladies chat... :smile2:
I like this idea...brilliant.
Eastern culture is working within a binary logic. It is constructed by producing a supposedly deviant sexual mores (in this case, western culture).
waarmstrong
21-07-11, 17:03
When asking your question, expressed as it is with a superlative, particularly a loaded question, the answer is most assuredly, "No!" If you mean to ask if "some" or even "many" women, and I am referring to women without a regional or cultural qualifier, the answer is most assuredly, "Yes!"
12 years of marriage to my lovely wife. It was no-go for us till the wedding night. No problem to wait. Love is the key.
waarmstrong
21-07-11, 17:36
No problem not waiting, either.
You see there are bules who marry a wife who wears veil, they're unlikely to do that before the man gets married.
On the other hand, having sex before marriage is a big, positive thing, if not a must, when establishing a relationship with a Westerner be it man or woman.
But unless you're a devout religionist, don't overthink of this. Even locals have sex before their marriage now, hence the term 'married by accident'. I don't see it as whether Western or Eastern culture.
Be different!
Instead of it being a 'culture' thing use your intelligence and self esteem and make it into a personal choice.
After all we are in the 21st century.
Do you want to be an individual or just a sheep?
I understand what u mean..
I've ever wanted to try but "it was still difficult to be out of the cage" :)
You see there are bules who marry a wife who wears veil, they're unlikely to do that before the man gets married.
On the other hand, having sex before marriage is a big, positive thing, if not a must, when establishing a relationship with a Westerner be it man or woman.
But unless you're a devout religionist, don't overthink of this. Even locals have sex before their marriage now, hence the term 'married by accident'. I don't see it as whether Western or Eastern culture.
all u said was right :)
i see a lot of facts here women get pregnant before married
so manyyy.. :)
No problem not waiting, either.
:) :)
12 years of marriage to my lovely wife. It was no-go for us till the wedding night. No problem to wait. Love is the key.
Well, may be because I haven't found someone I really loved and someone who loved me so :)
Alternatively be innovative. Sleep before and refuse to sleep after.
OOps... sorry... that's ladies chat... :smile2:
:) :)
Hombre de Maiz
21-07-11, 19:09
You are trapped in a cage of your own (and your parents') making.
That's the culture thingy, mas Hombre
coucou.cherie
21-07-11, 19:25
what is culture, BG ?
Hombre de Maiz
21-07-11, 19:30
No, that's the rote, robotic, unthinking, unquestioning repetition of what you've been taught and told. If that's your definition of "culture", you deserve everything that is coming to you. Don't forget; culture ought to serve and benefit humans, not the other way around.
yummy.cheek
21-07-11, 20:11
I understand what u mean..
I've ever wanted to try but "it was still difficult to be out of the cage" :)
Be yourself and live your life...:popcorn2: Westerners are human also.. not so much different.. :tea:
ScooterIndo
21-07-11, 22:10
just have fun but keep yourself safe, that would be my advice. After all would you buy an expensive car without test driving it first ??? No !!! would you go to baskin and robbins and then continue to choose the very first flavor you ever tried there ??? No !!! Do you continue to wear the same clothes you wore when you were 9 just because they are comfortable ??? No !! Would you refuse to sleep with a man that you wanted to marry, because thats what you are told is the right "moral" thing to do only to discover afterwards he is totally crap in the sack and has a tiny dick as well ??
Try before you buy sayang, Thats my advice.
Snowy city
21-07-11, 23:23
just have fun but keep yourself safe, that would be my advice. After all would you buy an expensive car without test driving it first ??? No !!! would you go to baskin and robbins and then continue to choose the very first flavor you ever tried there ??? No !!! Do you continue to wear the same clothes you wore when you were 9 just because they are comfortable ??? No !! Would you refuse to sleep with a man that you wanted to marry, because thats what you are told is the right "moral" thing to do only to discover afterwards he is totally crap in the sack and has a tiny dick as well ?? Try before you buy sayang, Thats my advice. So Women/men = car = ice cream = clothes...
So Women/men = car = ice cream = clothes...
Nah Snowy... cars / Ice cream and clothes are much more reliable and fun than men & women :p
Oh wow, lots of guys comments on this thread LOL......
Here's the thing, if sex is just the only special thing that bonds two into marriage, I'm sorry, thats not strong enough....
Be ready to face a fact, your partner may get exhausted with you and find themselves humpin someone/something else, later on after you both tired of humping...
Sky Garden
22-07-11, 02:16
Oh wow, lots of guys comments on this thread LOL......
Here's the thing, if sex is just the only special thing that bonds two into marriage, I'm sorry, thats not strong enough....
Be ready to face a fact, your partner may get exhausted with you and find themselves humpin someone/something else, later on after you both tired of humping...
Words of wisdom from Kratos, take what you can pre marriage, a wise man once compared good sex with lobster thermidor, reason being???? oh go on google it
coucou.cherie
22-07-11, 06:30
Oh wow, lots of guys comments on this thread LOL......
Here's the thing, if sex is just the only special thing that bonds two into marriage, I'm sorry, thats not strong enough....
Be ready to face a fact, your partner may get exhausted with you and find themselves humpin someone/something else, later on after you both tired of humping...
It is important, but not the principal thing. personality match and good sex should come in a package, in order to survive the marriage or a relation, IMHO
ponyexpress
22-07-11, 06:32
It is important, but not the principal thing. personality match and good sex should come in a package, in order to survive the marriage or a relation, IMHO
Speaking from experience Coucou?
coucou.cherie
22-07-11, 06:34
Speaking from experience Coucou?
unfortunately, it is from what I've usually seen... :(
broken heart mode : ON (again....)
ponyexpress
22-07-11, 06:39
unfortunately, it is from what I've usually seen... :(
broken heart mode : ON (again....)
It is important, but not the principal thing. personality match and good sex should come in a package, in order to survive the marriage or a relation, IMHO
So you got an unfettered access to people's private lives?
It is important, but not the principal thing. personality match and good sex should come in a package, in order to survive the marriage or a relation, IMHO
Men can be trained up to perform better... ;)
lone_ranger
22-07-11, 07:35
Men can be trained up to perform better... ;)
My application is in the mail Bad Azz.
My application is in the mail Bad Azz.
:D
I shall consider it as carefully as I do all the rest L_R
;)
lone_ranger
22-07-11, 08:02
:D
I shall consider it as carefully as I do all the rest L_R
;)
Christ, you sound like someone from Job Centre Plus now.
Please L_R don't elevate me to that status... I am happy to just be B_a or baddie... Christ has far more followers and applicants than I could ever wish to cope with... :p :D :D
lone_ranger
22-07-11, 08:43
:) I am reminded of that scene when Graham Chapman opens the window stark naked in Life of Brian.
"He's a very naughty boy!"
I am in a playful mood tonight...
lone_ranger
22-07-11, 08:47
"I'm not the Messiah!"
Vewy well! I shall welease... Wodewick!
Honestly most bules do have sex before marriage, and most will not wait (not because they dont love you, but because they have had numerous sexual partners, and relationships before and its normal for him) the simple solution is....if you dont want sex before marriage then dont date a bule.....why do indo women always want a bule, but dont want to sleep with them? If you dont want sex before marriage dont try and date a bule. My suggestion is ask him to wait..if he says he doesnt want to then date someone else, or sleep with him..your going to marry him anyway
Vivian Handstrong
22-07-11, 20:21
win2 solution : sleep with them but don't have sex with them.....hihihi...perhaps cuddling like two babies should suffice...
Or wait..do you mean sleep = have sex? ;p
Honestly most bules do have sex before marriage, and most will not wait (not because they dont love you, but because they have had numerous sexual partners, and relationships before and its normal for him) the simple solution is....if you dont want sex before marriage then dont date a bule.....
I agree!
Hombre de Maiz
22-07-11, 23:55
...and if you are so rigid about conditions, that is, if you set the terms of the deal as "take it or leave it", you must be prepared for most bule males to leave it.
ponyexpress
23-07-11, 05:14
Honestly most bules do have sex before marriage, and most will not wait (not because they dont love you, but because they have had numerous sexual partners, and relationships before and its normal for him) the simple solution is....if you dont want sex before marriage then dont date a bule.....why do indo women always want a bule, but dont want to sleep with them? If you dont want sex before marriage dont try and date a bule. My suggestion is ask him to wait..if he says he doesnt want to then date someone else, or sleep with him..your going to marry him anyway
Why do they want bule? Dollar is so appealing! Considering the potential value of mixed marriage kids in Indo, having a bule is a great investment.
As for your second point, if two local couple want to have sex before marriage, should he/she pretend to be a bule?
lone_ranger
23-07-11, 07:12
Apart from the dollar value there is also the perceived rise in prestige of having a bule boyfriend or husband. Gossip circle talk: ("Where did you meet him? Does he have a friend? Can I get one too?")
Apart from the dollar value there is also the perceived rise in prestige of having a bule boyfriend or husband. Gossip circle talk: ("Where did you meet him? Does he have a friend? Can I get one too?")
Do Indonesian men seek bule women out as much as the girls seek the men out??
Just curious ;)
lone_ranger
23-07-11, 07:35
I would guess not. At least not like pack wolves. :) But what do I know, I'm not Indo.
Another point of why girls here prefer Bules , is because they're stereotypically reliable and trustworthy than Indo males.....
But again, it is stereotypes, well, please understand guys, the OP was just shooting her own traditional and basic stereotypes mindset here. Basically, Bule minded only takes permanently whats worth to have, in most cases, "test drive" happened as part of ingredients's selection aspect.....
vianseptian
23-07-11, 09:09
oh,,,,your sister very lucky.. :D
I ever have bule bf,,,,and he sleep with many girls when we has relationship :((
coz i cant do that before marriage....
waarmstrong
23-07-11, 09:22
Honestly most bules do have sex before marriage, and most will not wait (not because they dont love you, but because they have had numerous sexual partners, and relationships before and its normal for him) the simple solution is....
I am wondering if you are laboring under false dichotomy -- that Western expat men are different from Indonesian males in their insistence upon premarital sex. Maybe the difference is not so broad as you seem to believe. It does appear that Indonesia males have few qualms seeking out post marital affairs. Perhaps that's the difference -- Westerners insist on multiple sampling before while Indonesians sample the field after.
The better question is, "Does premarital abstinence lead to a more stable, long-term happy marriage?"
The better question is, "Does pre
marital abstinence lead to a more stable, long-term happy marriage?"
In addition, " Does virginity issue determines a long term happy marriage as well" ?
...and if you are so rigid about conditions, that is, if you set the terms of the deal as "take it or leave it", you must be prepared for most bule males to leave it.
ja, i've experienced it :D
In addition, " Does virginity issue determines a long term happy marriage as well" ?
there is no guarantee :)
oh,,,,your sister very lucky.. :D
I ever have bule bf,,,,and he sleep with many girls when we has relationship :((
coz i cant do that before marriage....
u let him do that with another girl while he has a relationship with u?
and now he married you?
win2 solution : sleep with them but don't have sex with them.....hihihi...perhaps cuddling like two babies should suffice...
Or wait..do you mean sleep = have sex? ;p
hihihihi..
ponyexpress
23-07-11, 13:56
Do Indonesian men seek bule women out as much as the girls seek the men out??
Just curious ;)
Of course they do. They particularly look for middle aged loaded women. If they look for a younger, then she should have an exotic taste!
My Ozzy friend, a white girl, date an asian before. And her ex bf told her that he date her because she was easier to be boink than Azn girl.
cheesecake
23-07-11, 14:35
I always wonder about it..
Yes, I know Western/European culture but still it's hard to break our Eastern culture..
But I believe that one I could find someone who really cares about me ..
because my sister did find one Holland man and they didn't do it before marriage :)
Yuanita, if you want to date a western/european, you should accept their terms/normal situation. otherwise, don't date them.
Just accept what you can't change ! Or... change yourself if you really want it.
I guess, there are many Indonesian males (good looking and reliable) who want to date you, you don't have to be with a caucasian. Many Indonesian males can accept that you don't do sex before married.
You are a beautiful woman, please be confident.
If you want to advertise your singleness, please do it nicely, not desperately.
Good Luck, girl :)
If you want to advertise your singleness, please do it nicely, not desperately.
Speechless
Of course they do. They particularly look for middle aged loaded women. If they look for a younger, then she should have an exotic taste!
Oh bugger!
Thats me sunk then.
<wanders off, figuring how to get loaded- finds a bar- hic>
ponyexpress
23-07-11, 16:35
My Ozzy friend, a white girl, date an asian before. And her ex bf told her that he date her because she was easier to be boink than Azn girl.
This is pathetic really. Poor girl that she had to go out with a guy who saw her as his sexual vehicle. But if she wanted it that way then it's fine.
Hombre de Maiz
23-07-11, 19:08
So long as women bolt when a man tells her that what he wants primarily and/or initially is sex, there will continue to be duplicity. So long as women do not accept that men want them for sex, among other things, men will have to lie. Classic case of rewarding X while hoping for Y.
ScooterIndo
23-07-11, 19:25
Having a boyfriend but not giving him sex is like having a dog and not feeding it, you cant complain when they dog goes off and finds someone else to feed it.
what about the other way round?? are there any bule girls with indonesian boyfriends were the guy doesn't want to have sex before marriage... for me that would be really hard to accept (if not impossible!)
ScooterIndo
24-07-11, 04:06
are there any bule girls with indonesian boyfriends were the guy doesn't want to have sex before marriage.
Nah i doubt it most bule girls love a good shagging.................hahahahhahahah
Nah i doubt it most bule girls love a good shagging.................hahahahhahahah
but sadly they rarely find it... :-"
lone_ranger
24-07-11, 06:40
Most first dates should start in the bedroom, then progress to dinner and a movie if it works out.
Most first dates should start in the bedroom, the bathroom, then the kitchen floor.
Sorry lone ... just could not resist tweaking your post :p
lone_ranger
24-07-11, 07:02
You left out the dining room table, BA. :)
You left out the dining room table, BA. :)
ahh that is because in this house the kitchen and the dining room are the same place... but you are so right... my d/room table is very sturdy- hot damn have I missed out on an opportunity there!!!
ponyexpress
24-07-11, 07:39
ahh that is because in this house the kitchen and the dining room are the same place... but you are so right... my d/room table is very sturdy- hot damn have I missed out on an opportunity there!!!
How about garden or veggie patch? Herbal sex is apparently now taking off because it involves organic stuff.
How about garden or veggie patch? Herbal sex is apparently now taking off because it involves organic stuff.
I don't do gardens here... my front garden is the beach. :)
All sex that I ever encountered involved organic stuff :p
lone_ranger
24-07-11, 07:49
Just drop by Sainsburys to get a couple of organic cucumbers if that would help.
Just drop by Sainsburys to get a couple of organic cucumbers if that would help.
Oooooh!
:bolt:
Help what ...
Please clarify ;-))
Just drop by Sainsburys to get a couple of organic cucumbers if that would help.
ponyexpress
24-07-11, 09:36
I don't do gardens here... my front garden is the beach. :)
All sex that I ever encountered involved organic stuff :p
So bamboo-made g-string plus thyme, rosemary and coriander are better than than whip-cream, strawberry and an apron?
vianseptian
28-07-11, 14:54
I understand what u mean..
I've ever wanted to try but "it was still difficult to be out of the cage" :)
Im still looking for someone like that too, someone who can accept my principle..... :)
Its not only about culture and religion...but I want to have sex just with my husband
local or bule...they are same i think...many local guy do sex before married too
so I prefer personality and someone who can accept me,,,
If you're not ready and not willing to do it, just say so up front. If the guy isn't willing to accept it, it's time to move on and find another guy who will respect you enough to wait until you're ready and willing. It's that simple really, there's more than one guy in the world.
My personal opinion is this, if you think you're ready for it then go for it. It's your body and it's yours to decide, regardless of what culture and society tells you. If you're not ready then stand your ground until you are ready.
Having a boyfriend but not giving him sex is like having a dog and not feeding it, you cant complain when they dog goes off and finds someone else to feed it.
Here now we see the issue of premarital and post marital sex.....hypothesis is it could determines long term happiness in marriage....
Fact is, after few years of humping, There would be a lil thought of regret that sounds like this, " If my husband's bending leftsided and it felt good, what about the the straight one ?? "
Im still looking for someone like that too, someone who can accept my principle..... :)
Its not only about culture and religion...but I want to have sex just with my husband
local or bule...they are same i think...many local guy do sex before married too
so I prefer personality and someone who can accept me,,,
I find it so hard to believe that some one wants to wait with it until the marriage... I mean if you really love someone at some point you want to have sex! So why wait until you are married? Before I wanna get married I want to have a serious relationship for at least 2 years or so to make sure he is the one in every aspect... and sex is part of it. You can still get married afterwards.
Better to get some practice before the marriage... so you have enough experience to really enjoy it during your wedding night... otherwise it might be short and painful.
ponyexpress
28-07-11, 21:32
I find it so hard to believe that some one wants to wait with it until the marriage... I mean if you really love someone at some point you want to have sex! So why wait until you are married? Before I wanna get married I want to have a serious relationship for at least 2 years or so to make sure he is the one in every aspect... and sex is part of it. You can still get married afterwards.
You've got to understand that for some, having sex before marriage is like putting money before the auction even starts.
Better to get some practice before the marriage... so you have enough experience to really enjoy it during your wedding night... otherwise it might be short and painful.
Why do you care much about enjoying sex during your wedding night, if you practice sex before marriage? Unless threesome is considered a wedding present then it's gonna be a different story.
Unless threesome is considered a wedding present then it's gonna be a different story.
hmm... I should suggest this to my future husband. Any volunteers around here?
Why do you care much about enjoying sex during your wedding night, if you practice sex before marriage?
Well, the wedding day is supposed to be the happiest day in life so I don't wanna spoil with bad sex.
Do Indonesian men seek bule women out as much as the girls seek the men out??
Just curious ;)
Probably not as much, but not because we're not attracted to Caucasian women. if I were to guess, many Indonesian (or Asian) men buy the stereotype that western women don't seek out Asian men as much as western men seeking out Asian women (as you can read from the personals forum here and everywhere). Not saying that's always the case, but the percentage is much lower of Caucasian women/Asian men pairing VS the other way around. Portland was definitely a tough place to date (and they said PDX was 'open minded'), maybe it's different everywhere else, I'm not sure.
ponyexpress
29-07-11, 05:39
hmm... I should suggest this to my future husband. Any volunteers around here?
Well, the wedding day is supposed to be the happiest day in life so I don't wanna spoil with bad sex.
Have you been to an Indonesian wedding? With an Indo wedding style it might be difficult to have a wild sex after the party.
lone_ranger
29-07-11, 14:27
Ah, an Indonesian wedding. Where all the women dress up for other women to admire. The silent gossip, the furtive stares, and the superficial smiles/laughter. And the occassional bule male guest with his sycophantic girl groupie, adding some measure of "prestige" to the entire event, though making an ass of himself with his ill fitting batik shirt.
ponyexpress
29-07-11, 14:35
Ah, an Indonesian wedding. Where all the women dress up for other women to admire. The silent gossip, the furtive stares, and the superficial smiles/laughter. And the occassional bule male guest with his sycophantic girl groupie, adding some measure of "prestige" to the entire event, though making an ass of himself with his ill fitting batik shirt.
Ah what you just described is a middle to upper class wedding loney. It is spot on, nonetheless. In fact, your description should be made official by the department of tourism.
I have just decided that I don't want sex before marriage... how long must I wait before I revert to my original intact status ...?
(oh and I don't want marriage either -hmm :( )
I believe you are doing generalization ...
You are referring to Bali Cowboys, who are behind the phrase "No money no Honey" ... "Well one born every minute"
This type of people exists all around the world. Go to french riviera you will see a lot of them ....
Of course they do. They particularly look for middle aged loaded women. If they look for a younger, then she should have an exotic taste!
Correct me, if it is not right
It is just the opposite, dinner and a movie then start in the bedroom
Most first dates should start in the bedroom, then progress to dinner and a movie if it works out.
ponyexpress
10-08-11, 15:37
I believe you are doing generalization ...
You are referring to Bali Cowboys, who are behind the phrase "No money no Honey" ... "Well one born every minute"
This type of people exists all around the world. Go to french riviera you will see a lot of them ....
Oh dear...I was, of course, taking the piss.
Lol, I could guarantee you. It won’t last long …
Similar to what you have encountered each year with the new-year's resolution
Want to test it, go to discotheques, or to pubs (if you were in the UK) during the weekend where there are a lot of people are looking for fun or one night stand ...
And you will find out when you wake up the following morning . "Oohhh gosh, what happened last night I have just broken my promise …" ...
I have just decided that I don't want sex before marriage... how long must I wait before I revert to my original intact status ...?
(oh and I don't want marriage either -hmm :( )
Lol, I could guarantee you. It won’t last long …
Similar to what you have encountered each year with the new-year's resolution
Want to test it, go to discotheques, or to pubs (if you were in the UK) during the weekend where there are a lot of people are looking for fun or one night stand ...
And you will find out when you wake up the following morning . "Oohhh gosh, what happened last night I have just broken my promise …" ...
Adindas- I am 46 years old my days of getting pissed off my face and jumping in to bed with the beer goggles on are long gone. As are my night clubbing and drinking alcohol days... i gave it up when I was 41. :P
But yes you are right I did not last long - hahahaha... not a drop of booze in sight either.
About 3 hours ...ooops back to the drawing board.
Oh dear...I was, of course, taking the piss.
Damn! pony- you almost had me there... you so sounded like my kinda guy ;)
ponyexpress
10-08-11, 20:08
Damn! pony- you almost had me there... you so sounded like my kinda guy ;)
Really? I am flattered but I need to deal with a few cougars who are chasing me.
Really? I am flattered but I need to deal with a few cougars who are chasing me.
Send them my way you poor lil mite... I shall congkel matanya.
(like how i did that? - g'day mite hahahaha)
ponyexpress
10-08-11, 20:19
Send them my way you poor lil mite... I shall congkel matanya.
(like how i did that? - g'day mite hahahaha)
I should, so they can learn from you...because I am a challenge!
I should, so they can learn from you...because I am a challenge!
...to whom are you a challenge pony?
I find you somewhat easy...
anagram ( a yes)
hahaha it is pun time :D
Find a room guys...
Or share some youtube scene for us...
Find a room guys...
Or share some youtube scene for us...
Awww Kratos - we are only playing :p
Well honey, if you are still up for it, there are reasonable number of young lads looking for cougars ....
The flirting expert Tracey Cox say " it is just a number ..."
Adindas- I am 46 years old my days of getting pissed off my face and jumping in to bed with the beer goggles on are long gone. As are my night clubbing and drinking alcohol days... i gave it up when I was 41. :P
But yes you are right I did not last long - hahahaha... not a drop of booze in sight either.
About 3 hours ...ooops back to the drawing board.
ponyexpress
11-08-11, 10:41
Find a room guys...
Or share some youtube scene for us...
No Kratos...as much as it will be fun but we wont satisfy your filthy mind...in fact get your mind out of the gutter ...:p
Well honey, if you are still up for it, there are reasonable number of young lads looking for cougars ....
The flirting expert Tracey Cox say " it is just a number ..."
ahhh adindas Its not about being 'up for it'.
I have never been short of offers at any age... It is my wit my charisma and my stunning good looks all rolled into one amazing package that does it... hehehe (joking).
I am certain its the huge boobs!
I am just at the point where its not really worth the effort- am a bit beyond playing silly power-games with men and I like my own space.
Hey the gutter can be an interesting place... my ex spent 25 years telling me that if it was not for him I would still be in it.
:p
(An interestin' analogy considering our respective backgrounds).
Show us you "azz", then. :-)))
You name it "bad" but I do not believe that before I witness it ... ...
Also bad and good is about perception ...
I fully believe "it should read a sexy ass to die for" ...
Do not take it seriously honey, I am just joking .... Enjoy your new home ...
ahhh adindas Its not about being 'up for it'.
I have never been short of offers at any age... It is my wit my charisma and my stunning good looks all rolled into one amazing package that does it... hehehe (joking).
I am certain its the huge boobs!
I am just at the point where its not really worth the effort- am a bit beyond playing silly power-games with men and I like my own space.
@ adindas... in modern speak bad is good - or exceptionally good - or even 'sexy... to die for'
So my name says it all :p
now behave will-ya.
What's up with all the men in here recently?
Not gettin any cos of Ramadan? Just curious.
Pony really paid a good attention on something like this...
bow chicka wow wow
11-08-11, 22:24
to answer the op's question, i don't know if all the partners of western men had pre-marital sex. but i know i will not even consider getting married if we haven't had sex.
naughtygab
04-09-11, 12:00
i just wonder , are you sure that it's westerner's culture to have premarital sex? as far as i know, there are so many Indonesian girls who slept with different guys before she decided to get marry to one of them.
plus who can be sure that the action was asked by the guy? .... i guess people need to stop think that indonesian girls are passive, helpless and never say let's do it. ... they have passion too....
to answer the op's question, i don't know if all the partners of western men had pre-marital sex. but i know i will not even consider getting married if we haven't had sex.
Now we do have common opinion on that:whistle:
i just wonder , are you sure that it's westerner's culture to have premarital sex? as far as i know, there are so many Indonesian girls who slept with different guys before she decided to get marry to one of them.
plus who can be sure that the action was asked by the guy? .... i guess people need to stop think that indonesian girls are passive, helpless and never say let's do it. ... they have passion too....
Well said.
But it bucks the image that many want to maintain.
Blame it on Hollywood...we would've thought it differently if Arabwood/bollywood who made the worldwide stage....
hmmm
lets get the image
an euopean or american man who is agree on sex before marriage
either he has hidden agenda
or the future bride is crowned Putri Indonesia
or he just simply stupid
I know I would never marry someone that I hadn't had a healthy sexual relationship with. There are enough problems in relationships, without bringing in the "I want it once a day" to the "I'll do it once a year" argument.
I'm not going to demand it on the first date, or the second or third, but if it becomes serious, then it's something that will occur. If presented with a "marry me, and then we'll have sex" choice, I will be heading out the door. I know a sucker bet when I see one.
i just wonder , are you sure that it's westerner's culture to have premarital sex? as far as i know, there are so many Indonesian girls who slept with different guys before she decided to get marry to one of them.
plus who can be sure that the action was asked by the guy? .... i guess people need to stop think that indonesian girls are passive, helpless and never say let's do it. ... they have passion too....
I think it's more now-culture. It used to be done more by westerners, but today most cultures do it. We people adapt to our needs and changing they way of thinking. For me it's really a personal choice. SO, Yes I agree don't ever judge Indonesian girls or Asian girls are timid because stereotypical doesn't work for this dynamic culture
Well said.
But it bucks the image that many want to maintain.
Be careful though. There are still girls who holding the value :cheer2:
Why do they want bule? Dollar is so appealing! Considering the potential value of mixed marriage kids in Indo, having a bule is a great investment.
As for your second point, if two local couple want to have sex before marriage, should he/she pretend to be a bule?
A reality check here, the value of dollar is diminishing against rupiahs for the past year. And who said local indons are less wealthy than bules? If I want to go for a marriage of convenience, I definitely go for a rich Indonesian male than a bule, lol
I know I would never marry someone that I hadn't had a healthy sexual relationship with. There are enough problems in relationships, without bringing in the "I want it once a day" to the "I'll do it once a year" argument.
I'm not going to demand it on the first date, or the second or third, but if it becomes serious, then it's something that will occur. If presented with a "marry me, and then we'll have sex" choice, I will be heading out the door. I know a sucker bet when I see one.
Used to agree with this argument, this fallacy to avoid buying a car without a test drive. Don't buy a pig in a poke (kucing dalam karung), right? But some long-lasting relationships taught me it won't say anything about your later love life and the amount and quality of the sex. And that's what really counts, avoiding that the hot babe who was great in the sack, turns into a frigid woman after some time. Needs work...
Be different!
Instead of it being a 'culture' thing use your intelligence and self esteem and make it into a personal choice.
After all we are in the 21st century.
Do you want to be an individual or just a sheep?
I like the answer: Be different!!
When you are in a relationship with Western, Eastern or Locals , sometimes sex before marriage come in a relationship automatically. But again it depends on the individual principals ....there are many who waits till the wedding bell ;-).
My wife and lived together before we were married, that was almost 35-years ago, and we've had sex dozens of times since then.
My wife and lived together before we were married, that was almost 35-years ago, and we've had sex dozens of times since then.
LOL!
:D
(not hundreds then?)
(not hundreds then?)
It was exactly what I was mentally calculating... :smile2:
Here we go again:
Do you really think a sexual relationship will not evolve? It can become better (practice, getting to know your partner better) but also much worse. Do you expect the hot lady you just met is willing to give you a daily wake-up BJ five years down the road if you treat her like sh1t?
If both are ready to have sex, be my guest. But don't use it as an argument to see how 'compatible' you are.
Well, wouldnt it tell one how compatible you are sexually? Isn't that what hes talking about? What does it have to do with a morning bj now or five years down the road? She might not even enjoy giving bjs no matter the time of day. What if he just lives for them and now has to live completely without them. That would pretty much ahhh, suck.
Sure it can become better but it also could just go nowhere too so now you have two married people who have no sex life or its unsatisfactory. I think though in most cases if you are right in enough departments to want to marry each other a couple will evolve as you say to make for tastey sexual treats. Also if you are cool with your sexuality and how you ahhh, do things, then most likely there will be a gelling at some point.
I'm not offended. And with mutual consent it's cool; adults should do what they want. If both of you just want to have some fun, fine.
But if you're really serious about someone, then it's the 'test drive' concept that I have an issue with. This won't reduce any risk. The rationale is what I mentioned before; there is no guarantee whatsoever the sex will stay good (and frequent). Also, suppose it's not so good at the start; what will you do, break-up the relationship? Or invest time & efforts to make it better?
So when these 'buying pig in a poke' arguments don't make sense for the long term, what is left? Only lust. That's a valid reason, I understand. But does that have an equal weight as someone's culture or moral values? I hear you; it should be their choice and not the one of the society they live in. But hey, that's a bit of a different discussion.
Again, all depends what you feel for her in the first place, right? Wouldn't it be a shame to jeopardize a (possible) long lasting relationship since someone wants to wait? Perhaps it's better to move on than to force something.
Missnaughty
14-11-11, 13:59
Please note, Indonesian do not believe on sex before marriage. Therefore, there is misconception regarding those who are married to foreigner are "bad girls" due to this reason. Like it or not, Indonesian culture mark a bride without virginity is a damage goods. It is up to you how to deal with your gf or future gf. I personally, have no problem at all with such issue.. but please bear in mind that I am an independent woman with lots of LVs who do NOT live in the country, by it mean doesn't have to deal with family and neighbours. So before you guys putting yourself in such as position that make you feel uncomfortable when you think the girl becomes too attach to you.. this is the reason. Put this in your mind, after 1 year relationship with a girl (she also spend few nites here in there with you), and you were both decided not too continue the relationship.. Can you imagine what she will face at her neighbourhood?
Ps : I am an Indonesian
Please note, Indonesian do not believe on sex before marriage.
You mean those women I slept with weren't Indonesian? Wow must have been malaysians living in Indonesia and pretending to be Indonesians. (Scratching my head)
Missnaughty
14-11-11, 21:46
You mean those women I slept with weren't Indonesian? Wow must have been malaysians living in Indonesia and pretending to be Indonesians. (Scratching my head)Probably. Malaysia is even worse.. Dont think you can hold hand.. So yes.. They probably are malaysian pretending to be Indonesian..
Hahahaha ok next time I will ask to see their passport and or KTP to make sure.
waarmstrong
14-11-11, 22:32
Please note, Indonesian do not believe on sex before marriage.... Ps : I am an Indonesian.
A bit presumptuous, me thinks, but certainly not out of line with the body of your work here.
Missnaughty
14-11-11, 22:49
A bit presumptuous, me thinks, but certainly not out of line with the body of your work here.Explain why it's presumptuous. Am I wrong?
john madden
15-11-11, 03:27
There's a lot of pregnant schoolgirls around here for a society that don't believe in sex before marriage!
John, John, John. What did you do?
http://cdn.thefreshxpress.com/freshxp/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/condoms.jpg
Please note, Indonesian do not believe on sex before marriage.
But they do it anyway so can have their cake and eat it.
It is called HYPOCRISY ... the most subscribed to non-religion on the planet.
:)
Probably. Malaysia is even worse.. Dont think you can hold hand.. So yes.. They probably are malaysian pretending to be Indonesian..
thanks for the lulz
Please note, Indonesian do not believe on sex before marriage. Therefore, there is misconception regarding those who are married to foreigner are "bad girls" due to this reason. Like it or not, Indonesian culture mark a bride without virginity is a damage goods. It is up to you how to deal with your gf or future gf. I personally, have no problem at all with such issue.. but please bear in mind that I am an independent woman with lots of LVs who do NOT live in the country, by it mean doesn't have to deal with family and neighbours. So before you guys putting yourself in such as position that make you feel uncomfortable when you think the girl becomes too attach to you.. this is the reason. Put this in your mind, after 1 year relationship with a girl (she also spend few nites here in there with you), and you were both decided not too continue the relationship.. Can you imagine what she will face at her neighbourhood?
Ps : I am an Indonesian
She must be joking...
Probably. Malaysia is even worse.. Dont think you can hold hand.. So yes.. They probably are malaysian pretending to be Indonesian..
Okay someone please tell me that she is really joking...
bow chicka wow wow
25-11-11, 16:17
She must be joking...
Okay someone please tell me that she is really joking...
she jokes a lot.
for me only 2 choices should be taken : if u choose to keep ur virginity before married, wow nothing i can say but u must have strong integrity strong faith and ur family must be so proud with u, and in the other hand if u choose sex before marriage then you must surely know how to enjoy ur life, u know what ur boy wants from u but responsibility is also yours to bear, u make ur step so u must take the consequence, good or bad, accept that and you will be happy. just precautions: prepare Con*** always before action to minimize the risk, be mature be responsible
for me only 2 choices should be taken : if u choose to keep ur virginity before married, wow nothing i can say but u must have strong integrity strong faith and ur family must be so proud with u, and in the other hand if u choose sex after marriage then you must surely know how to enjoy ur life, u know what ur boy wants from u but responsibility is also yours to bear, u make ur step so u must take the consequence, good or bad, accept that and you will be happy. just precautions: prepare Con*** always before action to minimize the risk, be mature be responsible
I know after marriage people still have rights when it comes to choosing to have sex but should anyone, as a whole, be getting married if they don't want to have sex?
pimp, married sometimes i think is just a symbol to tie our partner, but the basic purpose to married is simply to become one with our loved one. so sex is just small part of it, but surely if people love eachother enough and decide to get married then sex should be not an obstacle between them. if time goes by and the marriage couple has problem that make sex become less important actually it's normal but it will become an issue if happens in long term ( for example no sex for months), divorce is not a wayout bcos eventhough we change partner no guarantee those situation won't happen again..
I know after marriage people still have rights when it comes to choosing to have sex but should anyone, as a whole, be getting married if they don't want to have sex?
anyway you quote from me is wrong, in bold wording i said " sex before marriage" not after marriage...
I am agree with vie-yu on "marriage just a symbol". My ex bf's mom has been living together with her current bf for a long time. And they are still together now, and I don't think they are bother to get married. I think what they had right now is a real marriage even tho they didn't make it legal.
In this modern time, we should be aware of safe sex more instead of judging people who do sex before marriage as a bad people. Everyone has a sin. Maybe you don't do this sex sin, but I am sure you have sin for another thing. Who are we to judge, right? And I notice that people in Indonesia didn't really aware about safe sex, or too shy to buy condom, that's why some people got pregnant before marriage...
pimp, married sometimes i think is just a symbol to tie our partner, but the basic purpose to married is simply to become one with our loved one. so sex is just small part of it, but surely if people love eachother enough and decide to get married then sex should be not an obstacle between them. if time goes by and the marriage couple has problem that make sex become less important actually it's normal but it will become an issue if happens in long term ( for example no sex for months), divorce is not a wayout bcos eventhough we change partner no guarantee those situation won't happen again..
I respectfully disagree Vie,
I am married and I did it with no intention to become 'half me' so I can become one with hubby. He is still his own person, I am still my own person. We have different interests, and we don't have to be attached to each other like Siamese twins. To me, getting married is making a promise to my husband in front of friends and family that I will not just bail out when things get rough, that I will do everything I can before I give up, that I will see maintaining this relationship as a full-time job. Getting a divorce is not as easy as breaking up with a boyfriend right? And sex IS a big part of a marriage. It doesn't make a relationship but it can certainly break one. Passion may dwindle, but you can have sex just for the fun of it or out of needs.
I respectfully disagree Vie,
I am married and I did it with no intention to become 'half me' so I can become one with hubby. He is still his own person, I am still my own person. We have different interests, and we don't have to be attached to each other like Siamese twins. To me, getting married is making a promise to my husband in front of friends and family that I will not just bail out when things get rough, that I will do everything I can before I give up, that I will see maintaining this relationship as a full-time job. Getting a divorce is not as easy as breaking up with a boyfriend right? And sex IS a big part of a marriage. It doesn't make a relationship but it can certainly break one. Passion may dwindle, but you can have sex just for the fun of it or out of needs.
:)
... the basic purpose to married...
For make an allegory, when player form a team, nobody ask them to use half of their potential. In contrary with a good team spirit their union will produce a result more high than the addition of their individual potential.
That is what is suppose to be the union of 2 person. But like in a sport team, the team spirit is something you must work on it and take care for not losing it.
In couple you don't have a coach yelling at you, and it's not what we want!!! So, each partner must work on it and must be in good communication with each other.
--> Fixing goal(s) to reach for your couple (can be very simple goal, no need to be materialistic/business goal, all depend of your personality)
... the basic purpose to married...
For young couple in their beginning of their 20 who are still virgin, still living with their respective parent; getting married, moving in their own home and starting their life together (including sex)... They will not see the weeding as same as a couple in their 30 already living by their own (and even already living together) and having "pre-marital" sex.
Keeping your virginity or not, for my point of view, it's a very personal choice. But in many country, leading by religion, it become a social matter and is directly linked with forced marriage. By forced I also include when the girl accept/resign to marry the whoever their parent will choose for them. On this forced/accepted/resigned marriage, the virginity become a good to sell, where the girl will lost value if she lost her virginity.
I will never see this reason of being virgin as a good thing! Unfortunately, I never heard of someone who want keep his virginity for another reason than religion or social and family pressure.
so much agree with Filipe, can't say more, that's what i mean about the union to become one :)
katshimakawa
29-11-11, 13:17
of course many women sleep with their husband before they marry him, and several more men besides!!....
sexual freedom!
No, the conclusion is, sex before, during and after marriage is awsome. Snooky is willing to help those timid ones test the waters and overcome their inhibitions.
waarmstrong
05-12-11, 10:03
Looking for luv with your pants unzipped may not produce sterling results.
Loving or liking someone and she unzips my pants seems to usually bring results no less than sterling.
so the conclusion of this thread: sex before marriage is awesome
or quite simply...
Sex is awesome... :D
Missnaughty
05-12-11, 17:45
or quite simply...
Sex is awesome... :D
dont forget the wrap!
cuddles can come from anyone... :D
really ? most guy will fall asleep after the sex, not much time for the cuddling part
How many would one have to be with to be able to make this statement?
http://covers.powells.com/9780307345974.jpg
Thanks J star :)
Hi Pimp, read more and experience more :)
Reading is fine and dandy, but it's no replacement for experience, toots.
nothing can ever beat experience, you should try it Pimp
Who is this Pimp? Pimpin?? Does she sleep with a lot of men?
why do u say that Snooky ?
i hope u don't mean to be rude..
Who is this Pimp? Pimpin?? Does she sleep with a lot of men?
You're a newbie here so it's understandable that you don't know. Pimp is a blue-colored Hulk. You don't want to see him when he's angry :D
Is the better than being a blue-collar hunk?
Who is this Pimp? Pimpin?? Does she sleep with a lot of men?
She is a he and I wasn't aware that it was the pimp that did the sleeping:D
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